Sorority pledge misbehavior

[Splash]

I didn't say that her putting this on a message board was the right thing, fyi.

If your parents paid for it, and weren't as intrusive as you believe her to be, fine, great for you.

The fact of the matter is, since it's her money (if she is in fact paying), if she doesn't like what's going on, she can stop paying in 2 seconds.

Obviously she doesn't want her daughter to be upset, and right now it appears to her that the sorority is upsetting her. We don't know the story and she probably doesn't either.

IMO, the daughter needs to come to a decision herself and tell mom what she wants to do. However, if the mom is paying and decides to stop, the daughter really has no say.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by Splash

However, if the mom is paying and decides to stop, the daughter really has no say.

Daughter can get a job like the gazillion other collegiate sorority members who pay their own dues (past and present).

[Splash]

Originally Posted by kddani

Daughter can get a job like the gazillion other collegiate sorority members who pay their own dues (past and present).

I meant daughter has no say about her mom paying, not whether she can find a way to finance herself. She can do whatever she wants to raise the money herself.

I'm surprised that you guys seem so offended by the asking to de-pledge other girls. Obviously she can't do that, so I don't see why anyone would be bothered by that. Besides, I think it's obvious that she's overall more concerned about her daughter's happiness rather than the other pledges. I think it's ridiculous if you think that daughter's happiness is not the root of all of this. Her daughter is her business.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Splash

I meant daughter has no say about her mom paying, not whether she can find a way to finance herself. She can do whatever she wants to raise the money herself.

I'm surprised that you guys seem so offended by the asking to de-pledge other girls. Obviously she can't do that, so I don't see why anyone would be bothered by that. Besides, I think it's obvious that she's overall more concerned about her daughter's happiness rather than the other pledges. I think it's ridiculous if you think that daughter's happiness is not the root of all of this. Her daughter is her business.

Well maybe her daughter needs to take the stick out of her ass.

Seriously, if she's going to whine to mom every time someone has a party without her she's going to have a really miserable life.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by Splash

I meant daughter has no say about her mom paying, not whether she can find a way to finance herself. She can do whatever she wants to raise the money herself.

I'm surprised that you guys seem so offended by the asking to de-pledge other girls. Obviously she can't do that, so I don't see why anyone would be bothered by that. Besides, I think it's obvious that she's overall more concerned about her daughter's happiness rather than the other pledges. I think it's ridiculous if you think that daughter's happiness is not the root of all of this. Her daughter is her business.

I think it's a matter of "my daughter shouldn't be punished for something that someone else did".

It happens all the time. In elementary school, someone throws a spitball, but the whole class gets in trouble. On sports teams, someone screws up a play, and the whole team has to do laps. In high school, three people steal a copy of the test and the entire class has to re-take it. You work in a restaurant where you pool tips (all tips are collected and divided), and one sucky worker who gets rotten tips ends up reducing each person's portion.

It happens everywhere. There's a reason and a purpose. Can you - Splash or OP - not see that?

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Splash

I'm surprised that you guys seem so offended by the asking to de-pledge other girls. Obviously she can't do that, so I don't see why anyone would be bothered by that. Besides, I think it's obvious that she's overall more concerned about her daughter's happiness rather than the other pledges. I think it's ridiculous if you think that daughter's happiness is not the root of all of this. Her daughter is her business.

How the sorority operates is none of her business. Asking online whether the chapter can de-pledge the troublemakers is NONE OF HER BUSINESS. Furthermore, her daughter is an adult and should be making these decisions on her own. Meaning, it's NONE OF HER BUSINESS! I don't understand why you keep insisting that it is.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Splash

I didn't say that her putting this on a message board was the right thing, fyi.

If your parents paid for it, and weren't as intrusive as you believe her to be, fine, great for you.

The fact of the matter is, since it's her money (if she is in fact paying), if she doesn't like what's going on, she can stop paying in 2 seconds.

Obviously she doesn't want her daughter to be upset, and right now it appears to her that the sorority is upsetting her. We don't know the story and she probably doesn't either.

IMO, the daughter needs to come to a decision herself and tell mom what she wants to do. However, if the mom is paying and decides to stop, the daughter really has no say.

That still doesn't make their discipline her business.

If she decides to stop paying, that doesn't necessarily mean the daugher needs to stop pledging.

And no, it's still none of her business.

FWIW, mom asked if the sorority could de-pledge the OTHER girls.

Which, again, is none of her business - no matter who is paying.