Does GC have a disproportionately large number of PNM's who don't get bids?

[DTD Alum]

I actually think it's completely understandable. By coming onto Greek Chat and asking advice, you're unknowingly also saying that:

1) This is something very foreign and stressful to me
2) I have nobody else to ask these questions of

1) If you are asking this question, this is clearly more scary to you than it is to the average college girl (or boy). Maybe this means you are naturally very shy and hate meeting new people, maybe this means you are a bit of a tomboy who is uncomfortable in very girly situations, maybe you are more of a non-conformist type, maybe this means you are a foreign exchange student who has no idea of how American culture works, etc. Whatever it is, you are clearly not going to fare as well as the PNM who is already very confident meeting new people in a very mainstream oriented, gender conforming process. All young people (regardless of gender) have insecurities, but for many meeting new people of their gender is not one of them. To be so nervous as to ask questions on Greek Chat indicates to me that many do have some degree of fear of that situation.

2) If you have to ask strangers online, there is clearly nobody telling you how the process works which means you are probably pretty far removed from GLOs on your campus (and perhaps in general). Do you think Hometown Hannah whose mother, older sister, older brother's girlfriend and soccer team captain all go to school at her university is going to be asking questions on Greek Chat? At a school with deferred recruitment, is the PNM who already knows 20 sisters going to be asking questions here? At some schools (SEC, some Big Ten, Indiana, USC, etc) not knowing people in chapters may severely hurt you early on.

I think also that there is very little on conversation here. A shy girl may come on this site and see that hey, sororities also look very closely at grades, activities, leadership, etc...maybe it's fine that I'm shy and don't really know how to dress myself. I know this is a major lane swerve, but in terms of fraternities we didn't even look at grades or activities...it was pure personality. I know sororities do look much more intensely, but let's be real...at many schools, it is likely that 90% of the PNMs are relatively close to each other regarding those qualities. That's how college admissions work. I think conversation and meeting new strangers is a very underemphasized topic and is probably the main reason that many PNMs are released.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DTD Alum

I think conversation and meeting new strangers is a very underemphasized topic and is probably the main reason that many PNMs are released.

I tend to agree with this too.

Many times, when PNMs come here and ask "what happened?" we are only presented with that PNM's "tangibles" if you will.

Ex: When Suzy posts about not getting a bid, she mentions that she has a 3.9, was involved in 3 clubs, etc.

That's great, but we don't get a picture of how Suzy behaved in the parties and in her interactions with sorority members.

You could be great on paper (really, a lot of women who pursue sorority membership are) but just don't come across well in conversation.

Sorority women at most schools are presented with hundreds of girls who on paper, look like girls that any chapter would be glad to have. So that's usually not what gets you an invite.

If a chapter has one invite left and it's between 2 girls who are equally awesome in grades, involvement, etc. the girl who gets it is likely going to be the one:

*who PRESENTS herself best in person
*comes across as someone that the active members could potentially SEE themselves interacting with on a regular basis.
*didn't force the active to maintain the convo (and kept the convo going).
*who presented herself as interested in hearing what members had to say (not yawning, going on and on about being tired, etc)

So Suzy might feel like "I had x, y, and z things, why didn't they want me?" when they don't truly know that your tangibles are really just one piece of the puzzle.

This also means that when presented with a girl who has a perfect GPA, valedictorian, 3 clubs, who was totally flat conversation wise, she might get passed over for Girl B with the 3.3 who played softball for 3 years because she was nice, fun, and seemed to really enjoy talking to people.

This seems like a long drawn out ramble to me but it made sense in my head, I swear.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I tend to agree with this too.

Many times, when PNMs come here and ask "what happened?" we are only presented with that PNM's "tangibles" if you will.

Ex: When Suzy posts about not getting a bid, she mentions that she has a 3.9, was involved in 3 clubs, etc.

That's great, but we don't get a picture of how Suzy behaved in the parties and in her interactions with sorority members.

You could be great on paper (really, a lot of women who pursue sorority membership are) but just don't come across well in conversation.

Sorority women at most schools are presented with hundreds of girls who on paper, look like girls that any chapter would be glad to have. So that's usually not what gets you an invite.

If a chapter has one invite left and it's between 2 girls who are equally awesome in grades, involvement, etc. the girl who gets it is likely going to be the one:

*who PRESENTS herself best in person
*comes across as someone that the active members could potentially SEE themselves interacting with on a regular basis.
*didn't force the active to maintain the convo (and kept the convo going).
*who presented herself as interested in hearing what members had to say (not yawning, going on and on about being tired, etc)

So Suzy might feel like "I had x, y, and z things, why didn't they want me?" when they don't truly know that your tangibles are really just one piece of the puzzle.

This also means that when presented with a girl who has a perfect GPA, valedictorian, 3 clubs, who was totally flat conversation wise, she might get passed over for Girl B with the 3.3 who played softball for 3 years because she was nice, fun, and seemed to really enjoy talking to people.

This seems like a long drawn out ramble to me but it made sense in my head, I swear.

It does make sense. It reinforces what my mom always told me-if you ACT like you're someone everyone wants to know and they'll think you are. (Act confident and everyone will think you are...and as a result, you'll be confident.)