Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?

[aephi alum]

Saw that article. Interesting.

I was a bit bristly at the milestones marking the transition to adulthood: "completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child". Guess I'll never be an adult! The reporter did backpedal by adding, "Some never achieve all five milestones, including those who are single or childless by choice, or unable to marry even if they wanted to because they’re gay."

That said... the whole idea of "emerging adulthood" is interesting.

As recently as 10 years ago, it was very unusual (though not unheard of) to finish school and go off and take a year or three to find yourself - you got your HS diploma or bachelor's or master's or Ph.D. and headed straight into the workforce, never to emerge until retirement.

Now, lots of people do it. A lot of people are doing it out of necessity - they can't find a job because the economy sucks, so they're doing unpaid internships or Teach for America or going back to school for a second bachelor's or a master's degree that they hadn't originally planned to earn. Others are doing it because Mom and Dad are willing to foot the bill, so they don't have to run out and get "a job, any job, right this second", so they can go off and backpack around Europe or whatever. (The article compares this to the Amish practice of rumspringa. You get to run around and do whatever for a couple of years, but you are then expected to come back to Amish life.)

I think the "go get a job vs. take a year or two off and bum around" thing is new, but the "marry and have children young vs. marry later if at all and have children later if at all" thing is not. Career opportunities for women began to pick up in the latter half of the 20th century, so it was no longer "necessary" for a woman to attach herself to a man at a young age for financial reasons. Reliable birth control also became available around the same time (the Pill was introduced in the early 1960s), giving women some control over when and how often they gave birth. We also have IVF and other infertility treatments, so if you want children, you don't have to race out and find a partner and get married and get pregnant before you turn 30 or 35 and your fertility drops off (for women). So it's ok to play the field for a while before choosing your life partner, whereas 60 years ago it was not. It's also perfectly socially acceptable these days to decide not to get married and/or to decide not to have children.

It'll be interesting to see how this plays out, to see if "emerging adulthood" gets recognition as its own life stage, or if we as a society start to really accept that it's OK not to follow the life script.