Opinions for big SEC school

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Please read the rest of my post.

I read it all before I quoted you.

There are components of recruitment that are considered frivolous by some (or many), but it is ridiculous to reduce recruitment itself to frivolity. FAIL.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I read it all before I quoted you.

There are components of recruitment that are considered frivolous by some (or many), but it is ridiculous to reduce recruitment itself to frivolity. FAIL.

In your personal opinion.

I have always found the process to be frivolous and in general, silly. I genuinely use the word silly. We sit in parties in cute dresses, making small talk with our peers, and then choose our new members based on that small time together combined with the application they sent in. We watch what we say, follow a myriad of complicated and as my mom would say "nit-picky" rules, and yes, even make comments about what girls are wearing. PNM's are just as likely to judge actives on appearance as actives are to do the same to PNM's. Probably more so, since PNM's are new to the whole process and can get overwhelmed trying to remember 15 different sororities. It's easy to break them into categories. Who is hot...who is not.

Who here is going to pretend they or someone in their recruitment group DIDN'T once say "I like them but they're so (insert shallow derogatory comment here)"? Some girls are given bids because they are funny, nice, down to earth women who are kind to others. But sometimes a girl gets dropped because she dated a sister's ex boyfriend. Or because she shows a little too much cleavage. Or because her GPA is a smidge too low. Or because she did that one keg stand the first week of school. Maybe those girls are all extremely amazing people who are great listeners, selfless, and kind. Sometimes a girl gets a bid because she's best friends with an active. Or because she's extremely pretty. Or because her cousin is someone famous. Or because her mom is a very active alum. Maybe all those girls are selfish, rude, and obnoxious. Yep. Silly. And our sisters did the same thing to us the year before. It's a week long audition and both actives and PNMs are putting on a show...that may or may not reflect who they will be after recruitment is over and bids are given out. Expecting thousands of college aged women to make very mature decisions at all turns isn't realistic.

I very much love my organization and being in a sorority certainly shaped my college experience. I learned a LOT about how to interact with others, how to balance a million things at once, how to make rules and how to follow them, and made many friends that I will have for years to come. I love that I share a ritual with thousands of other women that I've never even met. That's pretty cool. Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

In your personal opinion.

No, I'm suddenly the spokesperson for the nonfrivolity of NPC recruitment.

I know I'm not the only person who sees the hypocrisy, hilarity, and blahzeyblah of this convo.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

No, I'm suddenly the spokesperson for the nonfrivolity of NPC recruitment.

I know I'm not the only person who sees the hypocrisy, hilarity, and blahzeyblah of this convo.

Okkkk...good for you?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Okkkk...good for you?

About time you stopped being longwinded.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I very much love my organization and being in a sorority certainly shaped my college experience. I learned a LOT about how to interact with others, how to balance a million things at once, how to make rules and how to follow them, and made many friends that I will have for years to come. I love that I share a ritual with thousands of other women that I've never even met. That's pretty cool. Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

LOL. This was almost a good save until the bolded.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

I just vomited.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

I just vomited.

Hope you made it to the trash can. The day I take my organization as seriously as I take my education, family, etc. is the day I lose sight of what I enjoy about it.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

I just vomited.

With members who think like she does, who needs PNMs and new members?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Exactly.



Please, point out one person that has said price matters.

I believe it was somewhere around the Ralph Lauren vs. Hollister discussion. Or the LP one. Or something.

The entire recruitment process is "simplistically inconsequential frivolity".

Perhaps for you.

Some chapters meet 1000+ girls in a day and are expected to cut and keep based on those few minutes they saw them and the applications the PNM's sent in.

And some meet far fewer.

That's somehow going to be a deep and thoughtful process? It's essentially an audition and the fact is that when so many people are being considered for so few spots it's unlikely they're going to be picked based solely on their character.

Which makes it a good thing?

It's going to be a combination of their resumes, how likable they are in parties, and their first impression. So yes, sometimes things like an outfit or a friendly smile or a bunch of connections matter. That's just reality

But there's a difference between a "Nice outfit" and "No don't wear shoes two days in a row because people will notice and think poorly of it."

Some girls will get picked because they are good people, nice to be around, and will make good members. And some girls will get picked for FAR more shallow reasons. So what's with all the denial?

It's a combination of a) it's not like that on every campus, and b) less denial and more wanting to actually CHANGE the system.

Ok? Then "relax" and stop jumping down my throat because I prefer to be realistic rather than idealistic. Again, the question isn't whether or not it's "right" or "shallow". It isn't right and it is shallow. That doesn't mean we should act like it doesn't happen.

No, you're being just as closeminded in a different way. I suggested you relax since you'd hit the point of expressing "Damn." as its own sentence.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

In your personal opinion.

I have always found the process to be frivolous and in general, silly. I genuinely use the word silly. We sit in parties in cute dresses, making small talk with our peers, and then choose our new members based on that small time together combined with the application they sent in. We watch what we say, follow a myriad of complicated and as my mom would say "nit-picky" rules, and yes, even make comments about what girls are wearing. PNM's are just as likely to judge actives on appearance as actives are to do the same to PNM's. Probably more so, since PNM's are new to the whole process and can get overwhelmed trying to remember 15 different sororities. It's easy to break them into categories. Who is hot...who is not.

Who here is going to pretend they or someone in their recruitment group DIDN'T once say "I like them but they're so (insert shallow derogatory comment here)"? Some girls are given bids because they are funny, nice, down to earth women who are kind to others. But sometimes a girl gets dropped because she dated a sister's ex boyfriend. Or because she shows a little too much cleavage. Or because her GPA is a smidge too low. Or because she did that one keg stand the first week of school. Maybe those girls are all extremely amazing people who are great listeners, selfless, and kind. Sometimes a girl gets a bid because she's best friends with an active. Or because she's extremely pretty. Or because her cousin is someone famous. Or because her mom is a very active alum. Maybe all those girls are selfish, rude, and obnoxious. Yep. Silly. And our sisters did the same thing to us the year before. It's a week long audition and both actives and PNMs are putting on a show...that may or may not reflect who they will be after recruitment is over and bids are given out. Expecting thousands of college aged women to make very mature decisions at all turns isn't realistic.

I very much love my organization and being in a sorority certainly shaped my college experience. I learned a LOT about how to interact with others, how to balance a million things at once, how to make rules and how to follow them, and made many friends that I will have for years to come. I love that I share a ritual with thousands of other women that I've never even met. That's pretty cool. Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

So why are you even here, if it was, in fact, a silly experience for an ultimately worthless organization?

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I believe it was somewhere around the Ralph Lauren vs. Hollister discussion. Or the LP one. Or something.



Perhaps for you.
And some meet far fewer.

Which makes it a good thing? But there's a difference between a "Nice outfit" and "No don't wear shoes two days in a row because people will notice and think poorly of it." It's a combination of a) it's not like that on every campus, and b) less denial and more wanting to actually CHANGE the system.


No, you're being just as closeminded in a different way. I suggested you relax since you'd hit the point of expressing "Damn." as its own sentence.




Please smell the shoes. It sounds ridiculous, but like I said I've had a PNM show up smelling like a fraternity house laundry room and she didn't even notice because she was so nervous. Also, if you have time go ahead and get your clothes washed/dry cleaned. If you don't just remember to look them over the night before to make sure there's no stains you missed or loose seams or something (I've also had PNM's have their dress rip. Thank god for safety pins.)

So why are you even here, if it was, in fact, a silly experience for an ultimately worthless organization?[/QUOTE]

First, I haven't personally seen anyone express the view that only expensive clothing is appropriate. If someone suggested RL vs. Hollister, that's not a bad point. Hollister is very "high school". There are also plenty of other places to buy plain polos with no logo on them, which is another way to avoid Hollister, and all of those places are in the same price range. TJMaxx, Target, and even Academy (or any store that sells sportswear..they usually have a section of "regular" clothing, too) are some easy and cheap options.

I challenge anyone to find a deep and meaningful way of choosing PNM's when meeting over a thousand of them, with a sorority chapter of 80-300 during formal recruitment. Just like large auditions or job fairs.

As the OP is going to an SEC recruitment it's prudent to think she will be in a large recruitment.

And, as I have said several times, it is not right, nor ideal, and every campus is different. However, it isn't helpful to use PNM's in an agenda to change the recruitment at a large SEC school. And the OP is rushing at a large SEC school with a competitive recruitment, so in this thread, it follows that advice would be tailored to that sort of recruitment. PNM's should be given advice based on what the status quo is, and the actives and alums should be initiating change if they wish to.

Lastly, I have never come close to saying it is a "useless organization". As I said, clearly, I did and have gotten a lot out of being a member to my organization. However I do not believe that the sorority I belong to should be as important in my life as my family, my education, and my career. Period. It is something I enjoy and I will remain an active alum, but it will always come after my family, education, and career. Hence "it's only a sorority".

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

First, I haven't personally seen anyone express the view that only expensive clothing is appropriate. If someone suggested RL vs. Hollister, that's not a bad point. Hollister is very "high school". There are also plenty of other places to buy plain polos with no logo on them, which is another way to avoid Hollister, and all of those places are in the same price range. TJMaxx, Target, and even Academy (or any store that sells sportswear..they usually have a section of "regular" clothing, too) are some easy and cheap options.

I challenge anyone to find a deep and meaningful way of choosing PNM's when meeting over a thousand of them, with a sorority chapter of 80-300 during formal recruitment. Just like large auditions or job fairs.

As the OP is going to an SEC recruitment it's prudent to think she will be in a large recruitment.

And, as I have said several times, it is not right, nor ideal, and every campus is different. However, it isn't helpful to use PNM's in an agenda to change the recruitment at a large SEC school. And the OP is rushing at a large SEC school with a competitive recruitment, so in this thread, it follows that advice would be tailored to that sort of recruitment. PNM's should be given advice based on what the status quo is, and the actives and alums should be initiating change if they wish to.

Lastly, I have never come close to saying it is a "useless organization". As I said, clearly, I did and have gotten a lot out of being a member to my organization. However I do not believe that the sorority I belong to should be as important in my life as my family, my education, and my career. Period. It is something I enjoy and I will remain an active alum, but it will always come after my family, education, and career. Hence "it's only a sorority".

No one here's doing that. But it is ridiculous that we are picking out PNMs wardrobes for them as if they are the models on the store's websites.

Also either it means something to you or it doesn't. but the way you're speaking of it isn't putting it fourth to your family, education or career, it's as if it was a silly thing you did in college.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

No one here's doing that. But it is ridiculous that we are picking out PNMs wardrobes for them as if they are the models on the store's websites.

Also either it means something to you or it doesn't. but the way you're speaking of it isn't putting it fourth to your family, education or career, it's as if it was a silly thing you did in college.

Your opinion is your opinion. I think I very clearly stated I learned so much from my experience. Everyone's experience as a member of their organization is an individual experience. Please respect that.

As for wardrobes, it's fun to pick out clothing, and PNM's are free to listen or not as they wish. The OP's response very clearly shows that. She said she's going to wear what goes with her outfit...which is just fine. Obviously, she is smart enough to weigh advice from the internet with her own opinion and make her own choices. I suspect her peers are just as smart.

PS-What are you talking about when you say "No one here's doing that?"

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

First, I haven't personally seen anyone express the view that only expensive clothing is appropriate. If someone suggested RL vs. Hollister, that's not a bad point. Hollister is very "high school". There are also plenty of other places to buy plain polos with no logo on them, which is another way to avoid Hollister, and all of those places are in the same price range. TJMaxx, Target, and even Academy (or any store that sells sportswear..they usually have a section of "regular" clothing, too) are some easy and cheap options.

I challenge anyone to find a deep and meaningful way of choosing PNM's when meeting over a thousand of them, with a sorority chapter of 80-300 during formal recruitment. Just like large auditions or job fairs.

As the OP is going to an SEC recruitment it's prudent to think she will be in a large recruitment.

And, as I have said several times, it is not right, nor ideal, and every campus is different. However, it isn't helpful to use PNM's in an agenda to change the recruitment at a large SEC school. And the OP is rushing at a large SEC school with a competitive recruitment, so in this thread, it follows that advice would be tailored to that sort of recruitment. PNM's should be given advice based on what the status quo is, and the actives and alums should be initiating change if they wish to.

No one here's doing that. But it is ridiculous that we are picking out PNMs wardrobes for them as if they are the models on the store's websites.

But again, why do you care so much if this was just a silly experience for you?[/QUOTE]


Please read my posts fully.

Again. It is a great part of my life but it will never come before family, education, and career. That's a good thing for PNM's to remember. If they join an organization it will be an important and integral part of their college experience, and will (hopefully) remain an important part of their lives after college. But if they do not get a bid, or do not get a bid to their favorite house, it's all going to be ok.