Daughter had unhappy High School experience, should she not mention this during Rush?

[im5am]

We both have read through the threads but "MOMMY" is asking the question because we got in an argument about it before she left for her camp job and I thought if I posted my question, I would have enough replies reiterating what I had stated to her and be able to show it to her when she gets home ! I'm not telling her to be anything but herself, but then again 17 year olds sometimes think they know it all and will take advice from people other than their parents, so these responses are much appreciated ;-) And as far as recs, I'll tell her to go ahead and accept them from the people who have offered. Also, I wouldn't say she was "painfully shy", just not as extroverted as others. When engaged, she is quite eloquent and charming. She just never felt comfortable with the hard partying, grind dancing kids in High School, who happen to be the "Popular kids" so she focused more on studies, community service etc..She is looking forward to surrounding herself with more mature goal orientated people in college. That is one of the reasons she is going though recruitment...If she finds it's not for her, she doesn't have to pledge! I've warned her how stressful it will be and probably pretty petty at times too but she said she is excited to go through and try to find a fit and if not, then on a campus with over 40,000 students she'll find her niche somewhere!

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by im5am

We both have read through the threads but "MOMMY" is asking the question because we got in an argument about it before she left for her camp job and I thought if I posted my question, I would have enough replies reiterating what I had stated to her and be able to show it to her when she gets home ! I'm not telling her to be anything but herself, but then again 17 year olds sometimes think they know it all and will take advice from people other than their parents, so these responses are much appreciated ;-) And as far as recs, I'll tell her to go ahead and accept them from the people who have offered. Also, I wouldn't say she was "painfully shy", just not as extroverted as others. When engaged, she is quite eloquent and charming. She just never felt comfortable with the hard partying, grind dancing kids in High School, who happen to be the "Popular kids" so she focused more on studies, community service etc..She is looking forward to surrounding herself with more mature goal orientated people in college. That is one of the reasons she is going though recruitment...If she finds it's not for her, she doesn't have to pledge! I've warned her how stressful it will be and probably pretty petty at times too but she said she is excited to go through and try to find a fit and if not, then on a campus with over 40,000 students she'll find her niche somewhere!

I doubt the sororities will care whether or not she was into grinding or partying in high school (in fact on some campuses girls who partied hard in high school can sometimes have a harder time during recruitment because it is assumed that they'll continue to be out of control in college and therefore be a constant attendee at standards meetings). Her resume sounds impressive and as long as she can suck it up and make small talk (and like I said I personally can sympathize with people who hate it because I REALLY do, but it's a great skill to learn for networking purposes in the "real world"). It would be a good idea for her to start practicing now, even if it's just with you. It sounds silly, and I fought my mom tooth and nail when she wanted me to do that, but I should've listened. I would've been much less nervous.

[AnchorAlumna]

Listen, I hated high school, was shy and awkward and was afraid of everything and everybody. I decided to push myself in college and therefore went out for recruitment.

And guess what - there are PLENTY of people who were the same way in high school. Yes, in the sororities! She may find a few sorority members who are into hard partying, but she will find just as many or more who are serious about school...but not all the time! That's the beauty of it - there's usually a range of experiences within one group. And young people change so much over that 4 years.

She will get only a few questions about high school, and most will be related to her activities, which don't have to be school activities. The good thing about recruitment is that she doesn't really have to do that much talking...but she should give more than "yes" or "no" answers. Talk about the things she enjoys or is interested in. She can make a mental list of questions to ask or topics to bring up if there's a lull. Even the sorority girls go blank while talking.

And get those recs!