How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

In reading this story, it actually doesn't sound like she is deliberately trying to sabotage her.

It sounds like she genuinely thinks that her daughter doesn't need any other recs because she's guaranteed a bid to her legacy house. You say she's out of state. Heck, where mom was initiated, it may be true that all legacies got bids.

Even if that is the case, the fact that what was right for her 20-30 years ago might not be right for her daughter hasn't even crossed the selfish heffa's mind. This is along the same lines of the moms with weight problems who make their (perfectly healthy and thin) daughters crazy about their weight - although I think that one's a little less deliberate.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Heck, where mom was initiated, it may be true that all legacies got bids.

She said in the OP that daughter is going to mom's school, so the chapter in question at the SEC school is mom's chapter.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

She said in the OP that daughter is going to mom's school, so the chapter in question at the SEC school is mom's chapter.

True but it may be more a matter of "when" then.

[Splash]

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Splash

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

[Katmandu]

dgdramadawg, I think it is terrific of you and your friends to go ahead and write recs for this girl. She doesn't know what a good friend she has in you!

My God daughter is going through recruitment in August at an SEC school. Her mom was in a glo in Ohio, where recs were and still are, unnecesary and legacies get a lot of consideration. When I told her we needed to get one (preferably two) recs for each chapter, she pointed to the recruitment book which says prominently, "Recs are not necessary. If a chapter needs a recomendation for you, it is their responsibility to get it for you.". I screamed, "NOOOOOO!!!!" Then told her we were getting recs. Period. I also told her that legacy status meant nothing, since the chapter probably had 50 or more legacies going through.

WHY do SEC schools (and other schools that require recs) say they aren't necessary? That makes me crazy. Girls in the know, KNOW, and everyone else is SOL.

Let's hope your girl's Mom is just clueless and narrow minded. That's better than the alternative (that she's a out to make her daughter's life miserable.

Anyway, you are doing a nice thing!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by Splash

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

FTW

[Splash]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

Don't know what you mean but my question still stands.

[qbt1990]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

hahahaahahaha. SO GOOD

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by Splash

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

I have seen some "important" legacies go through recruitment in my years of service and it is always hard especially if the women don't like her or don't think they "fit in" with the house. In fact, this year we have a legacy going through that is a Charter Member and 1st President of the Chapter's daughter. I'm praying the women like her because it can get ugly.

On the other hand, if a AXO Chapter dropped my daughter I would be really bummed especially if she liked the Chapter. I tend to think it is better for the legacies to drop the legacy chapter then the other way around, but it NEVER seems to work that way. For me it would be difficult because I have given over 25 years of service to AXO. Do I think they should take my daughter just because of that? My head says no, but my heart says yes. Again, it would be easier for me if my dd called up and said "Mommy, I dropped AXO. I just didn't feel like I fit in." as opposed to getting a teary eyed call that she was dropped and is heart broken.

I think most National organizations still put an emphasis on legacies going through and courtesy invites. I do think they should get all the consideration of an invitation and should not be cut without a lot of thought and discussion.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I have seen some "important" legacies go through recruitment in my years of service and it is always hard especially if the women don't like her or don't think they "fit in" with the house. In fact, this year we have a legacy going through that is a Charter Member and 1st President of the Chapter's daughter. I'm praying the women like her because it can get ugly.

On the other hand, if a AXO Chapter dropped my daughter I would be really bummed especially if she liked the Chapter. I tend to think it is better for the legacies to drop the legacy chapter then the other way around, but it NEVER seems to work that way. For me it would be difficult because I have given over 25 years of service to AXO. Do I think they should take my daughter just because of that? My head says no, but my heart says yes. Again, it would be easier for me if my dd called up and said "Mommy, I dropped AXO. I just didn't feel like I fit in." as opposed to getting a teary eyed call that she was dropped and is heart broken.

I think most National organizations still put an emphasis on legacies going through and courtesy invites. I do think they should get all the consideration of an invitation and should not be cut without a lot of thought and discussion.

And sometimes it's the pnm who drops the legacy chapter but is afraid to tell mommy. That's when things get really ugly.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

And sometimes it's the pnm who drops the legacy chapter but is afraid to tell mommy. That's when things get really ugly.

YEP.

Happens more than people think.

Many times, it is MUCH easier for a PNM lie and tell Mom "they didn't want me" than it is to tell her "I know you love XYZ, but I don't."