Should I join now or wait?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by remmie_k

Question for VioletPretty, have you heard anything about Sigma Kappa here? I know several girls and just want to hear what you think the difference between this chapter and yours might be and do you consider yourself northern, southern, or midatlantic?

This would be an example of things you would be better served not to ask. Go through recruitment if you want to get to know the girls.

[remmie_k]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

This would be an example of things you would be better served not to ask. Go through recruitment if you want to get to know the girls.

I just wanted to know because it isn't like Maryland is part of a different planet but people act like their is a big difference between states. Atleast in Tennessee the general impressions of a group is equal all over. I don't think it is easy anywhere you go especially if you have fewer chapters. They won't care if you have a 4.0 if they don't like you! I just think things are easier than when my mom went through it, less restrictions. Sydney, your name reminds me of a show, anyways, anyone can not get in but from what I read on here EVERYONE has a preference starting out and why would I not consider going where most of my friends go? Did atleast one person on this site get into the sorority they wanted? You just make it so negative sounding like every girl is below the sorority and she is lucky to be invited to it. Can I ask how open to every group you were and not just the least bit partial to one?

[sydney bristow]

Originally Posted by remmie_k

I just wanted to know because it isn't like Maryland is part of a different planet but people act like their is a big difference between states. Atleast in Tennessee the general impressions of a group is equal all over. I don't think it is easy anywhere you go especially if you have fewer chapters. They won't care if you have a 4.0 if they don't like you! I just think things are easier than when my mom went through it, less restrictions. Sydney, your name reminds me of a show, anyways, anyone can not get in but from what I read on here EVERYONE has a preference starting out and why would I not consider going where most of my friends go? Did atleast one person on this site get into the sorority they wanted? You just make it so negative sounding like every girl is below the sorority and she is lucky to be invited to it. Can I ask how open to every group you were and not just the least bit partial to one?

It's from Alias.

Also, don't get on here asking about chapter reputations. The response will NEVER be pretty.

And of course everyone has their idea of what they want going through but we just want you to know that having that kind of "I can get whatever chapter I want" attitude is more than likely to bite you in the ass.

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by remmie_k

I just wanted to know because it isn't like Maryland is part of a different planet but people act like their is a big difference between states. Atleast in Tennessee the general impressions of a group is equal all over. I don't think it is easy anywhere you go especially if you have fewer chapters. They won't care if you have a 4.0 if they don't like you! I just think things are easier than when my mom went through it, less restrictions. Sydney, your name reminds me of a show, anyways, anyone can not get in but from what I read on here EVERYONE has a preference starting out and why would I not consider going where most of my friends go? Did atleast one person on this site get into the sorority they wanted? You just make it so negative sounding like every girl is below the sorority and she is lucky to be invited to it. Can I ask how open to every group you were and not just the least bit partial to one?

Remmie- I was probably like most 18 year old girls when I went through recruitment. I knew no one who was in a sorority except for a cousin and none of my close friends from HS were going through "rush" at the time. I listened to tent talk and looked at the houses and decided I wanted to be an Alpha Phi (based on glowing tent talk and in my opinion they had prettiest house on the row.) *sigh* to be young and dumb They dropped me going into round 3. The weird thing was I was the type of kid that went oh well and moved on. In the end I preffed 2 Chapters Chi Omega and Alpha Chi Omega. I liked both groups equally well and my rush buddy was putting Chi O first and I chose Alpha Chi Omega because they had a sorority house that the Chapter lived in and Chi O had a house that housed just 8 women at time. In the beginning I was very partial to a group that dropped me- then I think I had a pretty open mind about what happened next. In the end, I did get in the sorority I wanted.

I think why you hear the words of caution so much is that a lot of girls go through recruitment only wanting to be an x, y or z. They can not see themselves fitting in any other group. With the number of women going through recruitment and the way the RF's work it is not like it used to be to get a bid. The drops are so significant after the first round that the first round of recruitment really becomes a first impression game- just my opinion.

To answer your question about why you wouldn't want to consider where your friends are? I'm not sure that is what folks are saying. I just think they are saying to look at other groups too. Have a well rounded recruitment experience. I don't think people are saying that a PNM is lucky to be invited to join. In my opinion, a lot of PNM's go through recruitment with an attitude of entitlement. I'm not sure if it is a generational thing, but when the PNM's don't get what they want they quit recruitment. They wont give the groups a chance that do invite them back because "they think the group is below them". They then post on here their boo hoo stories. The PNM's that I really feel for are the ones who totally participate and maximize their parties and then don't get placed in a group OR get dropped from every group and it is not for a bad reputation or grades. If you read this forum you'll find many of these stories and that my friend is the business of recruitment that I really hate.

Good luck to you. Let us know how it all works out.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by remmie_k

You just make it so negative sounding like every girl is below the sorority and she is lucky to be invited to it. Can I ask how open to every group you were and not just the least bit partial to one?

I got my first choice sorority and had preference invitiations to 4 others.

And yeah, it's normal to be partial to this or that group, but in a competitive rush (which Tennessee is and I don't think Memphis is any picnic either) it behooves you to keep it quiet. If you run around yelling OMG ADPI!!! it just gives other groups, who need to cut a certain number of women, a reason to cut you. And then what happens if you haven't made a sufficient impression on ADPi for them to keep you? You're screwed, that's what.

As for the Sigma Kappa chapter...I heard





























that their colors are maroon and lavender.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by remmie_k

I just wanted to know because it isn't like Maryland is part of a different planet but people act like their is a big difference between states. Atleast in Tennessee the general impressions of a group is equal all over. I don't think it is easy anywhere you go especially if you have fewer chapters. They won't care if you have a 4.0 if they don't like you! I just think things are easier than when my mom went through it, less restrictions. Sydney, your name reminds me of a show, anyways, anyone can not get in but from what I read on here EVERYONE has a preference starting out and why would I not consider going where most of my friends go? Did atleast one person on this site get into the sorority they wanted? You just make it so negative sounding like every girl is below the sorority and she is lucky to be invited to it. Can I ask how open to every group you were and not just the least bit partial to one?

remmie, we are here to give advice and most often the advice we give comes from experience. many of us are advisors to chapters of our sororities, and among those, several of us are or have been recruitment advisors. we see girls at parties who have decided before they attend the first party, or meet the first sister, that they are going to be "abc" or nothing. and guess what? sometimes they do end up an "abc", but sometimes they end up in another sorority or they do not get a bid at all. it is heartbreaking for us to hear of girls who did not receive a bid, or who are not open minded enough to give the group that did extend a bid to them a chance. if our advice can help a pnm to see that it is in her best interest to have an open mind and to keep her options open, to continue with recruitment even if her dream sorority does not invite her back, then we feel that we have truly helped someone.

btw, many of us did get our first choice during recruitment. many of us did not. those who were daring enough to give their 2nd or third choice a chance have almost unanimously said that they ended up where they belonged and that they would not change a thing.

do what you want. good luck to you. but i have to ask....why did you come on here and ask for our advice? your replies make me think that you had your mind made up before you found greekchat.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by remmie_k

Question for VioletPretty, have you heard anything about Sigma Kappa here? I know several girls and just want to hear what you think the difference between this chapter and yours might be and do you consider yourself northern, southern, or midatlantic?

Easy answer. I honestly don't know any Memphis SKs. Even if I did, I don't know why I'd be a better source of information than the Memphis SKs you know personally.

I'd say Maryland's Greek Life is Northern. I say that because of chapter size (more chapters, smaller size as opposed to larger size and fewer chapters), general interest level (about 10-12% Greek), the fact that our recruitment is deferred, and the makeup of the students. The overwhelming majority of out-of-state Terps are from New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. Very few from Virginia (despite proximity) or elsewhere in the South. There are probably more New Englanders (esp CT and MA) than Virginians at Maryland. Additionally, said out of state students probably represent a larger percentage of the Greek Community than the general student body. Maryland does not have "Northern" chapters and "Southern" chapters because there are so few Terps from the South and the state in general doesn't identify with the South. It's not like at some SEC schools where there are different levels of "Southerness" (the most Southern being the most prestigious of course ) or a "Yankee" chapter.

I wouldn't say it's mid-atlantic because I don't think there is a defined mid-atlantic Greek culture that is neither Northern nor Southern. It's more of a continuum, where some schools have Northern AND Southern aspects.

Originally Posted by remmie_k

I am have some tact, I do live in Tennessee after all, so I know not to go around saying I loved the ADPi theme at the KAT events.

Of course you wouldn't, because if you go through recruitment at Memphis OR Tennessee, there isn't a "KAT" chapter at either school.

[GeorgiaRose]

Yes a PNM needs to evaluate each group with an open mind and choose the best fit for herself. Having said that - sharing sisterhood with your family can be an incredible experience.