Should fine dining establishments go out of their way to accomodate toddlers?

[IrishLake]

I have a 4 year old, and 2 year old. both of them are very well behaved 90% of the time. But like all people, they both have their bad days. I can and do take them out to eat at normal, family friendly restaurants. i have taken them out to nicer family friendly restaurants, and they have done fine. we practice exactly what PeppyGPhiB said: MANNERS. My kids get in BIG trouble if they do not say please, thank you, and you're welcome on a regular basis. even my 2 year old son (who is being evaluated for speech therapy tomorrow) knows how to say please an thank you, without being prompted. however, his speech issues also lead to a lot of frustrating tantrums when he cannot communicate what he wants or needs. which means, until that issue is resolved, we'll stick to applebees.

now... right before christmas this past year, my husband and i went out to a very nice Jeff Ruby's restaurant as a surprise. very close tables, very intimate. naturally, the party of 4 seated less than 2 feet away from us was a family of 4, the two kids were probably 6 and 4. they were VERY well behaved. but i still did not feel comfortable, because i felt like i couldnt have a regular adult conversation. i still felt in mommy mode.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

but i still did not feel comfortable, because i felt like i couldnt have a regular adult conversation. i still felt in mommy mode.

True story, I went to a nice restaurant with some girlfriends and the tables were very close. We sat next to a group of what I think were 2 moms and their kids one was like 3 and the other kid was maybe 5. But they were kind of in the corner so we didn't see them.

So, we are having regular conversation. One of my friends was talking about a "non kid friendly topic" and the little girl says "Mommy, that lady over there said "not kid friendly word." [it wasn't the f word or anything, it might have been boobs or something silly] Mom said "That's not a good word for kids to hear."

I thought she was just discouraging he from repeating what other people say, but then she gets up, comes over to us and tells us to "CHANGE THE TOPIC because it is not appropiate for her kids." [I believe her exact wording was "I'd appreciate it if you'd talk about something else because my kids are over here and they don't need to hear that"]

I seriously couldn't believe that someone would ask that, when this is clearly not a kiddie restaurant and you're the only people with kids in this place. I'm not going to alter my conversation (with people I only see once a year, no less) because you brought your children to a more adult establishment.

My friend politely suggested that she grab the hostess and ask for another seat.