Newbie Question?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Rosiegal

Hello ladies.

I found this site and had a question/looking for advice and was wondering if you could give some input. I didn't see a thread that spoke to my situation, but if there is, I apologize! (I did try to search around a little bit). Also, I know that sometimes "newbies", like myself come off pretentious, bratty, and defensive, so if what I am asking is inappropriate or rude, please let me know. I don't want to be one of those naive girls who doesn't know her place.

On to the story...

I recently went through recruitment (I'm a freshman) and received a bid to a sorority I was VERY excited about and I absolutely loved pledging. However, about halfway through pledging, we lost our charter. This was very saddening and difficult and I won't go into what happened, but 99% of the chapter was not involved in the incident. Anyway, my pledge sisters and I were offered bids to another sorority on campus. I think they were allowed to do this because they were under total? I'm sorry I don't know all the Greek terms yet, but I think that is what allowed them to give bids to girls outside of formal recruitment.

The campus I am on is not so competitive. The "top" chapters are very competitive, but if girls give every group a chance, I think it is relatively easy to get a bid. Sophomores are at a slight disadvantage, but it's not comparable to what I've read about at places like Alabama, where sophomores can go fly a kite

Wow, sorry this is turning into a novel. ANYWAY, I'm trying to weigh my options. I could accept a bid to this other sorority and pledge there, go through formal again as a sophomore, or abstain from Greek Life. I really would love to join a sorority (obviously haha), but I'm torn about this other group and my chances as a sophomore. I KNOW KNOW KNOW you cannot give me my chances (haha read all the other posts asking this), I guess I was just more so wondering your initial thoughts on the situation. As sorority women, would you view sophomores who pledged but lost their charter differently than regular sophomores or would it not matter? Should I try out this other group to see if I fit? They were not one of my favorite pics in formal, but formal is such a blur, who knows? Do you think it matters what my pledge sisters decide to do?

Any input would be appreciated and I hope I haven't caused any drama in this post.

-Rosiegal

Let me see if I understand you correctly:

You were a NON-initiated member of a chapter that lost its charter (meaning you were a NM/pledge).

Once the chapter closed, you were offered bids to another chapter on campus.

You want to know if you should accept or decline and go through formal recruitment this fall.

[33girl]

I will say - whatever you decide to do, please be straight up with the sisters from the closed chapter and let them know your plans. No, this is not required but it is a courteous thing to do. These women are hurting a lot and the last thing they need to hear from a 3rd hand source is "hey, Rosiegal joined ABC's rival! Ha ha ha on ABC!" If you are straightforward and honest, I don't think your former sisters will be upset or mad at you.

If the chapter that offered you a bid is one that you would like to pledge, go ahead and do so.

If you're worried about being "damaged goods" - this really isn't something that anyone on here can tell you absolutely yes or absolutely no on. It also depends on whether you and your pledge sisters are trying to stick together as a "package deal." I know this might seem the easiest, but the fact is you probably didn't all put down the same sororities on your bid cards and girls shouldn't feel like they have to go somewhere they don't feel comfy with out of a sense of loyalty.

Hope this helped a little bit.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know this might seem the easiest, but the fact is you probably didn't all put down the same sororities on your bid cards and girls shouldn't feel like they have to go somewhere they don't feel comfy with out of a sense of loyalty.

This.

Don't be so stuck on being a "package deal" with the other girls that you accept without even thinking about it.

Ask yourself: "Would I be happy in this chapter even if my NM/pledge classmates didn't join with me?"

You never know what could happen. Girls could decide they don't like it as much as they did your former chapter (that closed), they may decide Greek Life is not for them, they could join and quit.

If you choose to accept this chapter's bid, make sure it's a decision you're making because you like the chapter and can see YOURSELF as a member, not just because they offered you all bids and you want to stay together.

[Rosiegal]

Hello KSUViolet06. Your first post is correct, and yes I am currently thinking about whether to pledge "ABC" or wait until recruitment next year. I'm fairly sure I still want to be involved in Greek Life, it's just hard to not feel a little, I don't know, bitter, about the situation? I still would like to give recruitment a try though.

33Girl-I think you're right. I think it's important to make my sisters aware of my future Greek endeavors. I didn't originally think of that, so thanks.

I think I might wait until formal recruitment so I can get to see all the sororities again, including the one that just offered us bids. I also see your point about not being a package deal. I didn't even think of the fact that we all might have gone to preference day at different sororities. Is there a tactful way to let the sororities know that they can take a chance on me, even without my pledge sisters (if they choose to rush), or is the fact that I'm going through recruitment enough? I need to make sure that I feel comfortable and at home with a sorority, regardless of what the other girls do, because it's MY life. Good points!