In this thread, we give random incorrect advice.

[1stSoon2BePhD]

If Domino's doesn't deliver your pizza in 45 minutes or less, you should call and threaten to kill the person who answers the phone. This will not only get your pizza there quicker but the next time you order, you will get a free pizza.

[Preston327]

Originally Posted by 1stSoon2BePhD

If Domino's doesn't deliver your pizza in 45 minutes or less, you should call and threaten to kill the person who answers the phone. This will not only get your pizza there quicker but the next time you order, you will get a free pizza.

When the overworked teenager running Popeye's cash register gives you nickels instead of quarters in your change, don't calmly wait for the manager to pop his register to correct the error. Instead, pull out your illegal switchblade and threaten to "bleed him like a pig" in full view of the rest of the patrons.

True story. Enjoy your prison term, jackass.

[1stSoon2BePhD]

If you work in a lab and you are hungry but can't leave, lick the lab bench.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Cats really like having their feet massaged, so do it as often as you can. This applies to the big cats like lions and tigers as well.

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

One of my cats actually loves it when we do that to her! No joke.

If you are ever tasked by your manager to do something at work and you really don't want to do it, just say "No!" or "Ugh, can you just do that yourself? I'm on FaceySpace." It shows that you a) can stand up for yourself and b) are way above that work they thought was appropriate to give you. Don't be surprised if a promotion and a raise both follow quickly.

My cats let me rub their paws.


My advice...no need to get your pets fixed, Bob Barker isn't telling us to anymore, so it must not be important.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

^^ That made me giggle. Then I remembered the pic I saw of the little boy who had run while holding a fork. Pic below (linked instead of posted so people who don't want to see it don't have to.)

Click at your own risk. (It's safe for work, but it'll make moms cringe.)

Ooooooooooowwwwwwwww!!

I mean...hey hey that was fun! If you have a weak stomach, click that one!!!

[cheerfulgreek]

A guinea pig that rubs its butt on the ground has worms.

[chickenoodle]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

A guinea pig that rubs its butt on the ground has worms.

(What's the real reason they rub their butt?)



If you are lucky enough to receive an e-mail from Nigeria proposing a business partnership, make sure you send them all the required information, including your SSN# and birthdate. Conducting business in this manner is always a good idea.





(no really, don't. i was being facetious)

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by chickenoodle

(What's the real reason they rub their butt?)

To mark their territory. Cats do it all the time when they rub their bodies against things, including their owner. Cats think they own their owner.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

To mark their territory. Cat's do it all the time when they rub their bodies against things, including their owner. Cat's think they own their owner.

Cats, not cat's. Cats is plural, cat's is possessive.

Sorry, huge pet peeve (apologize if grammar/spelling correction is YOUR pet peeve lol).

[jdrama]

If you always use the bathroom and never wash your hands BUT you are always sick (roommate!), it's obviously the tissue you used. Get unscented.

[AOII Angel]

If the food you ordered at a chain restaurant isn't exactly the way you wanted it, call your waiter back, tell him that he must be an idiot for getting your order wrong and send it back to the kitchen. They won't do anything nasty to your food---promise!

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by jdrama

If you always use the bathroom and never wash your hands BUT you are always sick (roommate!), it's obviously the tissue you used. Get unscented.

Yesterday, my sister saw this over my shoulder and was horrified. She thought this was a serious statement.

[jdrama]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Yesterday, my sister saw this over my shoulder and was horrified. She thought this was a serious statement.

LOL!

When a guy beats you every week ladies, stay with him. He's teaching you how to take a punch. It's no way he's ABUSING you.

[cheerfulgreek]

Mange is always contagious from pet to pet.

Oh, and Mercury is much hotter than Venus since it's closer to the Sun. And speaking of the Sun, it's yellow.

[moe.ron]

It's ok for you to yell bomb in the airport. actually, you would be treated extra nicely if you run into an airport with a backpack and yell bomb.