First- it's sad that this is a dealbreaker for him but she likely won't call it off. Unfortunately I think those types of relationships are fairly common, or at least more common than I'd like to see. My husband and I are both very strong-willed and neither will go down without a (verbal) fight
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Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn
I took Andy's last name, but was surprised when I started being referred to as First Name, Maiden Name, Last Name when volunteering with my alma mater and the sorority.
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I definitely get the rationale behind including it, but I feel like when they send me a letter or something, I don't need to see my maiden name. For official records, name tags, whatever- fine. But don't blast me with it. I dropped it for a reason! My biggest pet peeve, though? Being called Mr. and Mrs. Husband'sFirst LastName. By my college. Where both my husband and I attended and received degrees. If I didn't go there, okay, maybe I understand that it's HISTORICALLY acceptable (I'd get annoyed but not throw a fit). But- I did graduate from there, so I complained... Address us as Husband and Lily LastName. Two people, same last name. Genious! I started a mini revolution, several others complained after me thanks to the glories of Facebook.
I didn't feel much tie to my maiden name's family (only met the extended family once or twice), hated being at the end of the alphabet, and rebelled against having a masculine last name (male name + s... like Stevens, but not). I had no hesitation in dropping that altogether and adopting my husband's name... but because it is a Portuguese name, it is often misspelled (although it's a very common word in Spanish, the name equivalent uses a different spelling- so people always use the Spanish version). Eh, it's misspelled less than my maiden (people often dropped or changed letters at will).
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
BTW, if you do it like the Spanish, you would drop your mother's name when you marry and add your husband's. Your children would have your father's name added to the end of your husband's name.
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My husband is Brazilian and that is kind of like how his family does it- but without the hyphens. So he has four names: First Mother'sMaiden Father'sMother'sMaiden Father'sFather'sLast. Although the FMM is actually two words (de + name) so he has five words in his name. So F MM de FMM FFL. No middle name- so when he came to the US and they suddenly started using Mother'sMaiden as his midden name & middle initial he was incredibly confused. Now he just goes with it... but begrudgingly
I had a lot to think about in choosing what names I would take. In Brazil I would take most of those names- but since we're in the US and to simplify things, I just took the last one (FFL). I'm not sure what we'll do with kids... probably just keep them to match mine, or maybe play with family names as middle names. But we aren't there yet so we'll figure it out when we get there!
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