Hyphenated last names

[RaggedyAnn]

I took Andy's last name, but was surprised when I started being referred to as First Name, Maiden Name, Last Name when volunteering with my alma mater and the sorority. It caught me off guard at first, because I was married for 3+ years and hadn't used my maiden name for anything. I now use my maiden name with my Last Name regularly in communications, but it's not my legal name anymore.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ZTA72

I know many female physicians who keep their name and then if married after graduation then use their husband's name socially and for any children. It seems to work well to separate work and social/family life.

Ditto with lawyers. My wife did that as long as she was in journalism as well. She still regularly uses FirstName MaidenName MySurname (without a hyphen).

Meanwhile, OP's friend and her fiancé need to have a serious talk if he's willing to call off the wedding over this.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Meanwhile, OP's friend and her fiancé need to have a serious talk if he's willing to call off the wedding over this.

I met him and have gone to lunch with both of them. He is kind of controlling. He's also a surgeon and has made a few comments about veterinary medicine that I wasn't very pleased with.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I met him and have gone to lunch with both of them. He is kind of controlling. He's also a surgeon and has made a few comments about veterinary medicine that I wasn't very pleased with.

Explains A LOT! She needs to sit down NOW and have that discussion about expectations.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Explains A LOT! She needs to sit down NOW and have that discussion about expectations.

If you met her, you would be able to tell she won't. She'll still marry him. She's not very strong willed.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Kept my maiden name when I married (25 years ago). Husband thinks its great. Son has his last name.

Husband thinks it funny when he gets called Mr. My-maiden-name and I often (espcially by son's friends) get called Mrs. His-name - although I still look for my MIL when it happens.

with so many blended families now, its not unusual for kids to not have the name of one or both parents.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

I took Andy's last name, but was surprised when I started being referred to as First Name, Maiden Name, Last Name when volunteering with my alma mater and the sorority. It caught me off guard at first, because I was married for 3+ years and hadn't used my maiden name for anything. I now use my maiden name with my Last Name regularly in communications, but it's not my legal name anymore.

That's pretty common with colleges and sororities - so that people who knew you then can figure out who you are, and for their records (so that they can tie you in with all the rest of your transcripts, etc.). You signed all your paperwork with your maiden name - I think this is just their way of keeping it all straight.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by agzg

That's pretty common with colleges and sororities - so that people who knew you then can figure out who you are, and for their records (so that they can tie you in with all the rest of your transcripts, etc.). You signed all your paperwork with your maiden name - I think this is just their way of keeping it all straight.

I use my hyphenated name with AOII for this reason. My chapter sisters wouldn't recognize me if it just said my married name.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

I took Andy's last name, but was surprised when I started being referred to as First Name, Maiden Name, Last Name when volunteering with my alma mater and the sorority. It caught me off guard at first, because I was married for 3+ years and hadn't used my maiden name for anything. I now use my maiden name with my Last Name regularly in communications, but it's not my legal name anymore.

Like Calva Watson Wootton!! We learned the founders by their maiden and married names, and like agzg said, people are always referred to in sorority circles by their maiden and married names.

As someone who gets her maiden (only) last name mispronounced all the time, I AM militant about it, especially when I correct someone once and they persist in mispronouncing it. I completely sympathize with hyphenates being ticked off, because I'm sure they get the same thing AND some thinly veiled tones of voice about what they think of hyphenation.