American Torry-Ann Hansen SENDS BACK Adopted Russian Son Artem

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would think a 19 year old could investigate the Navajo (or any other) culture on her own, if she so wanted to. So could a 12 year old with a computer, for that matter. She was hardly "robbed" of something she can go out and get. It's not the same as growing up with it, but growing up with it through books isn't the same either. What was the mother supposed to do? Send her to a reservation for the summer?

Like carnation said, sometimes the kids just flat out do not care. I was tested and found to be "gifted" and my mother often said that she worried that she hadn't exposed me to classical music, opera, "higher" culture, etc...the fact of the matter was, the few times they dragged the gifted class to things like that, we would have rather gone shopping or something.

Should you try to teach the kids about it? Yes, but there also comes a time where you need to stop blaming your parents (bio or adopted) and do what you need to do on your own.

Wow. Really? are you serious? There's so much that woman could have done. She just didn't care enough to do it because she felt that she had done her duty simply by adopting the child. smh

[33girl]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

Wow. Really? are you serious? There's so much that woman could have done. She just didn't care enough to do it because she felt that she had done her duty simply by adopting the child. smh

Did you not read my last paragraph? Yes, the mom should have tried to do this. But there are MANY things MANY moms should do for MANY children (bio and adopted) that they do not do. You can either wallow in it the rest of your life or do something as an adult to try and correct it. Has your student ever made any effort on her own to try and learn about her heritage? If not, I am wagering it bothers you more than it bothers her.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

The thing is people seem to forget that there are many Black families out there that wish to adopt.

And also, while agencies will often let white couples adopt Black children, it is rare that they allow Black families to adopt White children.
I personally don't much care for white couples adopting Black children because I do feel that there are culture issues. But I feel that way in general. Prime example was one of my former students who was Navajo. She was adopted by a white woman when she was 3. She is now 19 and she knows absolutely NOTHING about Navajo traditions and culture. NOTHING. It broke my heart to see that because I felt that while she got a good home, she was still being robbed of the opportunity to explore her heritage. Her mother's excuse was that she didn't know anything about the Navajo culture and so she figured that the child would just be okay without knowing it.

In many ways I agree with you, IF there is a choice between an equally qualified black and white couple, the black child should go to the black couple. If there is a plethora of black families looking to adopt black children, then why are there so many older black children looking for homes? Or is it that no one wants an older child no matter what color? Is being raised in a white family with no inkling of black heritage (which is easier for the average white persona to bumble through than Navejo culture, BTW...also, might I add that many Navejo have lost their culture while living in their own reservations!) than to be raised in a system of foster homes?

I have a really good friend who is Vietnamese and was raised along with her adopted brother, who is mixed white/black, by a white family. She has NO Vietnamese culture and no interest. She is highly educated, and if you try to tell her that she should have an interest, she would tell you that it's not your business. Her Vietnamese parents gave her up for adoption. Her white parents gave her a life. She isn't without her problems (not because of her lack of Vietnamese culture but because of other family issues that would be there if she had been their natural child.)

The sad thing about Russia is that THEY don't want to adopt those children. Less than 300 children are adopted within the country each year! That is pitiful. If American adoptions stop, all these children will just stay in horrible orphanages for longer periods of time.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

The sad thing about Russia is that THEY don't want to adopt those children. Less than 300 children are adopted within the country each year! That is pitiful. If American adoptions stop, all these children will just stay in horrible orphanages for longer periods of time.

I just truly wonder if it really is a matter of them not WANTING to adopt those children. From what I have learned, many of these countries are so interested in getting lots of American money into their system, that they won't ALLOW people in these countries to adopt. Instead they set up adoptions with American families.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

I just truly wonder if it really is a matter of them not WANTING to adopt those children. From what I have learned, many of these countries are so interested in getting lots of American money into their system, that they won't ALLOW people in these countries to adopt. Instead they set up adoptions with American families.

I heard a recent report on NPR about this issue. There is a big issue in Russia that people will not take in other people's children. They won't even do it for members of their own family. The 300 children adopted last year were due to a huge campaign to encourage adoption within the country since they are concerned that their population is aging, and they are sending a large proportion of their young to America as unwanted orphans. There has been a lot of backlash against American adoptions over the past few years with Russia calling for the US to guarantee that the US will uphold their adoption laws which the US has refused to do.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

The thing is people seem to forget that there are many Black families out there that wish to adopt.

I haven't read any articles about an influx in family adoptions or anything to indicate an increase. There are articles regarding black women who are single, not anticipating marriage and are seeking to adopt or do IVF or what have you.

(NOT saying news articles are the end all be all of life, but just that I haven't run across any indication of this information media-wise or otherwise).

While I'm sure they exist, my black family doesn't personally know any black families adopting either. Do you have any personal experiences you could share as to help clarify?

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

I haven't read any articles about an influx in family adoptions or anything to indicate an increase. There are articles regarding black women who are single, not anticipating marriage and are seeking to adopt or do IVF or what have you.

(NOT saying news articles are the end all be all of life, but just that I haven't run across any indication of this information media-wise or otherwise).

While I'm sure they exist, my black family doesn't personally know any black families adopting either. Do you have any personal experiences you could share as to help clarify?

I never said there was an increase, but there are Blacks who want to adopt older children as well as babies.

Believe it or not I know 3 families right now that have been struggling with the adoption process for years.

Family 1: the father is a dentist with 3 lucrative practices. His wife is a SAHM. They have two children ages 5 and 8. They want to adopt a child around the age of their own children. They have been getting the run around now for well over a year.

Family 2: The father is a school principal. His wife is a teacher. They have one daughter age 13. They want to adopt a child age 5 or older. They have been dealing with the adoption system for two years now.

Family 3: not technically a family in the traditional sense, but a single woman who currently has a lucrative family law practice here in town. She does not want to get married but she wants the opportunity to give a child a good home. She is looking to adopt a child 7 or older. She has been involved in this process for 6 months.

All of the cases above are situations where there are stable people who can afford to give a child a good life and who are looking for an older child. But they all feel that race is playing a big part in the problem. Especially since they know white couples who did not have to wait nearly as long to adopt a child.

And through my exposure with the clinics we offer at school, we have many people coming in for advice about how to have more success in going through the adoption process. All of them are Black.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

The thing is people seem to forget that there are many Black families out there that wish to adopt.

And also, while agencies will often let white couples adopt Black children, it is rare that they allow Black families to adopt White children.
I personally don't much care for white couples adopting Black children because I do feel that there are culture issues. But I feel that way in general. Prime example was one of my former students who was Navajo. She was adopted by a white woman when she was 3. She is now 19 and she knows absolutely NOTHING about Navajo traditions and culture. NOTHING. It broke my heart to see that because I felt that while she got a good home, she was still being robbed of the opportunity to explore her heritage. Her mother's excuse was that she didn't know anything about the Navajo culture and so she figured that the child would just be okay without knowing it.

Since we don't have numbers, we are using words to quantify this. There aren't "many." There are "some" and this translates to a "relative few" when discussing the overall topic of adoption across race.

Adoption has never been widely accepted within the Black American culture. It still holds a stigma in the general Black community. Many of us always knew adopted kids (including children who were adopted from a family member) whose families kept it a secret.

There's more that I can say about that, but I'll just say that there are a number of reasons why white families are adopting Black children. If people recall the outrage over the increase in the adoption of Black kids by white families in the 90s, whites responded with "well, why don't more Black families adopt these Black kids then? Don't be mad because WE want to adopt them if YOU don't want to/can't adopt them/aren't adopting them/whatever."

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Since we don't have numbers, we are using words to quantify this. There aren't "many." There are "some" and this translates to a "relative few" when discussing the overall topic of adoption across race.

Adoption has never been widely accepted within the Black American culture. It still holds a stigma in the general Black community. Many of us always knew adopted kids (including children who were adopted from a family member) whose families kept it a secret.

There's more that I can say about that, but I'll just say that there are a number of reasons why white families are adopting Black children. If people recall the outrage over the increase in the adoption of Black kids by white families in the 90s, whites responded with "well, why don't more Black families adopt these Black kids then? Don't be mad because WE want to adopt them if YOU don't want to/can't adopt them/aren't adopting them/whatever."

I guess it all depends on maybe where you live because I haven't seen evidence in my general area that suggests a stigma in the Black community about formal adoptions. I see more "silence" and "secrecy" when someone takes in a child because the mother and/or father can no longer take care of the child. But I could definitely see it perhaps being that way in other areas. Around here, Black families who are trying to formally adopt are given "props" and commended for it. I hate to hear that it isn't the same elsewhere.

But to get back to your first statement, I say many because of the numbers of Black families that come to our clinic seeking advice about formal adoptions. And to add to that the numbers that I hear from two friends I know who are social workers in different states.

And as far as the outrage in the 90's, I didn't hear about that. That sounds interesting. I'm going to find out more info about that.