9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[deepimpact2]

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.

But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.

Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.


The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.

The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.

As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.

I'm not that old, but an ass-whoopin in my day was different than the ones these days.

A fight at school rarely stops there. You may get back at the bully once, but it will likely be followed by the group coming after you.

I'm still on the fence about this issue, but just wanted to point that out.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I'm not that old, but an ass-whoopin in my day was different than the ones these days.

A fight at school rarely stops there. You may get back at the bully once, but it will likely be followed by the group coming after you.

I'm still on the fence about this issue, but just wanted to point that out.

Could you please GET.THIS.SAID! Kids these days are bold, will follow you home and will try to fight adults if they get involved. These kids now fight in groups and use weapons. I'm all about standing up for yourself, and even fighting if you have to (my mom made sure of this) but you have to be careful.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

Could you please GET.THIS.SAID! Kids these days are bold, will follow you home and will try to fight adults if they get involved. These kids now fight in groups and use weapons. I'm all about standing up for yourself, and even fighting if you have to (my mom made sure of this) but you have to be careful.

Right.

I am more than able to defend myself, and thankfully, I've only had to get physical once in my life. I would have NEVER gone after an adult, though. You just didn't do that.

Now I see kids trying to punk teachers and administrators while they sit back and take it. It's sad.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Right.

I am more than able to defend myself, and thankfully, I've only had to get physical once in my life. I would have NEVER gone after an adult, though. You just didn't do that.

Now I see kids trying to punk teachers and administrators while they sit back and take it. It's sad.

If a kid goes for a teacher it's hard to know how to respond. If a teacher responds aggressively verbally or physically they'll be crucified. Kids that go that far probably have bigger problems than just being a bully. It would be great if they were all offered help. I know they're not, though.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

If a kid goes for a teacher it's hard to know how to respond. If a teacher responds aggressively verbally or physically they'll be crucified. Kids that go that far probably have bigger problems than just being a bully. It would be great if they were all offered help. I know they're not, though.

I know that. My point was that my generation (ha!) never would have never gone after authority figures. We may have fought fellow students, but never an adult.

Fear of mom and dad having to leave work to come pick me up from school kept me from doing it, and most of my friend's were the same way.

ETA: prettyface08 beat me to it

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I know that. My point was that my generation (ha!) never would have never gone after authority figures. We may have fought fellow students, but never an adult.

Fear of mom and dad having to leave work to come pick me up from school kept me from doing it, and most of my friend's were the same way.

ETA: prettyface08 beat me to it

Shooooot! I know the game LOL

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I know that. My point was that my generation (ha!) never would have never gone after authority figures. We may have fought fellow students, but never an adult.

Fear of mom and dad having to leave work to come pick me up from school kept me from doing it, and most of my friend's were the same way.

ETA: prettyface08 beat me to it

I was diagnosed with some kind of authority disorder when I was a little bitty...I don't think I had an actual disorder but my issue with being told what to do was bad enough to register with a therapist. And I STILL never once talked back to a teacher/adult authority figure. My parents would have killed me dead. No way in hell would I have said "boo" to a teacher, much less physically attacked them. I don't get why that happens so often these days.

I grew out of my 'tude, and learned the right way to do it. My mom explained that if a teacher is really being rude to me to find a way to nicely ask if I've done something wrong. I tried that one time and it turned out the teacher told me they thought I was unresponsive and rude in class because I never showed interest and always looked angry (I was really just sleepy). So I apologized and started paying more attention instead of doodling, and the problem was solved. If a teacher was grading me unfairly she advised me to take the assignment to them and discuss it with them every time. The only time this didn't work I had to go to the dean. And if nothing works, chalk it up to a sucky teacher. In high school you have them for a year, in college for a semester. Not for life. These are all ways to solve situations without being rude, obnoxious, or aggressive. And they're so EASY to do.

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

I just think it is absurd that you would cause that much disruption over a situation like that. Not only are you allowing your child to be bullied by other kids, but you are allowing YOURSELF to be bullied by those kids as well. And it is a sad day when adults let kids bully THEM.

So when you've tried every route and your kid is still being tortured every day, you'll stick it out because you don't want to be inconvenienced? Are you going to go kick a 12 year old's ass?

As my mom used to tell me, "That's cutting off your nose to spite your face". Even worse, it's at your child's expense.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

If a kid goes for a teacher it's hard to know how to respond. If a teacher responds aggressively verbally or physically they'll be crucified. Kids that go that far probably have bigger problems than just being a bully. It would be great if they were all offered help. I know they're not, though.

Why would it be hard for a teacher to know how to respond? I don't understand that either. Many teachers these days need more backbone too. They shouldn't let the kids bully them.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

Why would it be hard for a teacher to know how to respond? I don't understand that either. Many teachers these days need more backbone too. They shouldn't let the kids bully them.

Speaking as a future teacher, I am not going to risk my job or even being sued...I'm going to find someone above me to handle it.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

Why would it be hard for a teacher to know how to respond? I don't understand that either. Many teachers these days need more backbone too. They shouldn't let the kids bully them.

Administration doesn't want them coming after kids like that. I'm sure many of these teachers have backbones in their "real lives," but they aren't able to showcase that at work.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Right.

I am more than able to defend myself, and thankfully, I've only had to get physical once in my life. I would have NEVER gone after an adult, though. You just didn't do that.

Now I see kids trying to punk teachers and administrators while they sit back and take it. It's sad.

The problem for me is had I THOUGHT about it, my Mommy would have gone after ME and I would've gotten a lot worse than I could have done to the adult.

I have a guy friend who teaches middle school and says the kids beat up one of the female teachers. He's 6'5 with HUGE hands and told them pointedly that if they put their hands on her again and if they thought about hitting him *raising his huge hand up to the level of their face* he would be going to jail...for a long time!

[Kappamd]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Right.

I am more than able to defend myself, and thankfully, I've only had to get physical once in my life. I would have NEVER gone after an adult, though. You just didn't do that.

Now I see kids trying to punk teachers and administrators while they sit back and take it. It's sad.

There was a case in the local paper recently where a 12 year-old student had acted up enough to warrant them calling security. The student then stabbed the officer in the side with a pair of scissors.

Lovely.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Right.

I am more than able to defend myself, and thankfully, I've only had to get physical once in my life. I would have NEVER gone after an adult, though. You just didn't do that.

Now I see kids trying to punk teachers and administrators while they sit back and take it. It's sad.

Well this is the result of taking prayers and corporal punishment outta school

Heh!

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Well this is the result of taking prayers and corporal punishment outta school

Heh!

Maybe it's the beer in me, but I thought that said "capital punishment."

That would solve our problems lol