Dating and finances

[honeychile]

RE: Man always paying for the first date.
I have had more than one man tell me that he paid for dinner, therefore I owed him sex. I've told each that there are names for women who feel that way, and that if I was a hooker, he wouldn't be able to afford me.

I think it depends on the situation, and also one's dating history. I always want to pay for something, just so the above scenario doesn't happen yet again. I've also had male friends tell me that, if the woman doesn't at least offer to pay for the tip or whatever, they consider her a user.

A similar situation is men not knowing whether or not to open doors for a woman. They're always surprised to learn that a woman may want to have the car door opened for them (especially in the rain!), but have to find something to do other than look bored and privledged (sp?) while waiting for him to get to the woman's side.

[Little32]

Originally Posted by honeychile

RE: Man always paying for the first date.
I have had more than one man tell me that he paid for dinner, therefore I owed him sex. I've told each that there are names for women who feel that way, and that if I was a hooker, he wouldn't be able to afford me.

I think it depends on the situation, and also one's dating history. I always want to pay for something, just so the above scenario doesn't happen yet again. I've also had male friends tell me that, if the woman doesn't at least offer to pay for the tip or whatever, they consider her a user.

To the first, that is something that I have heard about and was warned about by older women that I know, but I have never had a guy explicitly say that to me or even really intimate it. And honestly, he's lucky if he gets more than a warm handshake.

On the other hand, I have had guys that thought they would get sex just for calling me. Like, "Hey, how are you doing, want me to come over?" :neutral: These are probably the guys who would just know they were getting lucky if they went so far as to treat me to dinner. That's why with them there are no first dates.

To the second, I was talking to a friend of mine about this last night. He was saying that the guys he knows definitely look for a woman to reciprocate in some way as things progress (though not necessarily in the first few dates), because if she doesn't they start to think that maybe she is selfish/inconsiderate, and that makes sense to me too.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by honeychile

RE: Man always paying for the first date.
I have had more than one man tell me that he paid for dinner, therefore I owed him sex. I've told each that there are names for women who feel that way, and that if I was a hooker, he wouldn't be able to afford me.

I think it depends on the situation, and also one's dating history. I always want to pay for something, just so the above scenario doesn't happen yet again. I've also had male friends tell me that, if the woman doesn't at least offer to pay for the tip or whatever, they consider her a user.

A similar situation is men not knowing whether or not to open doors for a woman. They're always surprised to learn that a woman may want to have the car door opened for them (especially in the rain!), but have to find something to do other than look bored and privledged (sp?) while waiting for him to get to the woman's side.

Were those guys around HERE??? (Here is Pittsburgh for those who don't know) If anything, I've found most of the guys around here that I dated even in the most casual of manners insist on paying for the first date and get borderline offended if I offer to pay for anything. I'm convinced that part of the reason this one guy I went out with didn't ask me out again is because I paid for the movie tickets - issue with parking and ticket sellout - I didn't do it to emasculate him, which it seems he felt I did.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by honeychile

A similar situation is men not knowing whether or not to open doors for a woman. They're always surprised to learn that a woman may want to have the car door opened for them (especially in the rain!), but have to find something to do other than look bored and privledged (sp?) while waiting for him to get to the woman's side.

But, if a man opens my door, I also always reach across and open his for him while he's walking back to his side. That's just thoughtfulness and consideration.