Big/Little Opinion Please?

[BrandNewAdvisor]

As someone who was in your big's position here's my two cents.

When I got my first little I was ecstatic, especially since my big (who I am "soulmate close" to) was going to be graduating. Everything was great until during the end of the new member period she was very busy with her theater group. Her show was the same day as initiation, so she missed out on a lot of stuff and I missed out on doing things as a big. But it wasn't the end of the world, I made the effort to hang out with her once her life quieted down but she never had the time or wanted to. We didn't have a ton in common, but neither do my big and I. I tried to compromise by doing things she liked, she never reciprocated. I figured she didn't like me. We did the same thing you mentioned, chat briefly (and awkwardly) at sorority events and go sit separately.

When I took my second little I took her because I wanted her and I wanted someone to have that mentoring relationship with. I did try to include my first little and had family dinners but she never showed or would eat and leave. They were really different people so I didn't try to get them to hang out often.

Here's where the advice kicks in: I had a very serious illness during my senior year. I wasn't sure if I was going to finish out the year. I called my first little sat down and had a serious talk with her, let her know what was going on with me and that I was sorry we had never gotten close. She had always assumed I was upset with her for not coming to things the week before initiation, never knew how to talk about it and apologized. She had a lot of things going on in her life that she didn't tell me about so it wasn't all rudeness.

Talk with her about how you feel now she could very well feel the same way. It felt horrible to feel like I was rejected by my little (who picked me!) Compromise about stuff to do if you don't have tons of common interests, make an effort to get along with your future twin and if all else fails form that relationship elsewhere. I never begrudge my little's friendship with other members.