When family members lie

[Geauxme]

@ Knightshadow: The thing is, I don't know those girls personally, and she never really mentioned names apart from one girl that is in the same sorority as she is, so I cannot approach it like you suggested.. But I am open to other ways of bringing it up

@ ThetaDancer - I don't know a whole lotta people so I guess I'm going to have to branch out a bit, and see what I can come up with!

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Geauxme

The thing is, I don't know those girls personally, and she never really mentioned names apart from one girl that is in the same sorority as she is, so I cannot approach it like you suggested.. But I am open to other ways of bringing it up

Have you contacted the Greek Life office at the university?

(Correct me if I'm wrong, NPCers) Could you say that you e-mailed an executive officer of one of the chapters and got the information that way?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Have you contacted the Greek Life office at the university?

(Correct me if I'm wrong, NPCers) Could you say that you e-mailed an executive officer of one of the chapters and got the information that way?

Recs don't go to the Greek Life office so that won't work. Also, it's really not kosher for the PNMs to be emailing the chapters.

Geauxme - there could be ALL kinds of reasons this family member didn't follow through, and some of them could open HUGE cans of worms, so I honestly would just let. it. go. Contact the Alumnae Panhellenic nearest the school you're going to be attending, explain your situation, and see if they can help you. You could also see if the school has an alumni association in your neck of the woods.

ETA: I checked. They (kind of) do.

[aopirose]

When all else fails, try the direct approach. Contact the sororities yourself. You already have your packet together.

Excerpts from the LSU 2010 Recruitment FAQ Sheet:

How to Obtain Recommendations:

"2. Women who may not know of anyone in the area who is an alumnae member of a particular sorority should contact the national headquarters to inquire about a local person from their organization who coordinates their recommendations/references.
See national organization website addresses.

Website Addresses
www.chiomega.org www.kappadelta.org
www.deltagamma.org www.phimu.org
www.deltazeta.org www.pibetaphi.org
www.kappa.org www.tridelta.org
www.kappaalphatheta.org www.zetataualpha.org "


"4. What if I still don’t have a rec for all 10 sororities? Send enough copies of [your resume and 2 pictures] along with a note saying which sororities you need recs for to our address (472 LSU Student Union, 70803) and we will share your information with the sororities. It is ultimately the sororities’ responsibility to get recommendations for you, but it makes it easier on them if you do as much as possible to obtain them."

"The responsibility for providing letters of recommendation for potential members rests with the chapters (NPC Guidelines). In the interest of time, it is helpful to be proactive in this process.

Again, although not required, it is highly recommended to secure recommendations/references for the sororities."

[Geauxme]

@ 33girl... do they have something way up here? If so, send me a pm or post a link so I can check it out

@Aopirose: Thanks for the links, I'll see if I can figure something out.. it's just an overwhelming amount of information lol

I am going to let it go in regards to her not following through, as for the reasons? I know exactly why she hasn't followed through, and it turns out there has been a lot more things going on with this person than the rest of the family ever imagined! It's just so sad when no one knows how to handle it, and it just keeps escalating.. I can live with what she's done to me.. I mean, I still have time to fix it, but other things that have come out are just downright appalling!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by Geauxme

@ 33girl... do they have something way up here? If so, send me a pm or post a link so I can check it out

@Aopirose: Thanks for the links, I'll see if I can figure something out.. it's just an overwhelming amount of information lol

I am going to let it go in regards to her not following through, as for the reasons? I know exactly why she hasn't followed through, and it turns out there has been a lot more things going on with this person than the rest of the family ever imagined! It's just so sad when no one knows how to handle it, and it just keeps escalating.. I can live with what she's done to me.. I mean, I still have time to fix it, but other things that have come out are just downright appalling!

So are you looking for help on how to acquire recs or how to deal with a family member lying?

In pursuing recs from people not associated with your family member, I highly suggest not bringing up the family drama. In other words, don't say "I'm writing to you because my family member was supposed to get me all these recs and she lied to me, so now I am stuck".

If do you know any of the people personally, just ask them directly.

I guess at this point, in terms of recruitment, pretend it never happened and do it all yourself anyway. AOPIROSE had great advice (directly from the school itself). Just let the drama go, and move on. Quickly. And good luck.