Quote:
Originally Posted by Little32
This is what I don't see. I hear this buzz phrase that "respect is earned" and that it is a two way street (i. e., you have to respect me before I respect you). People throw out these sentiments rather easily, often without defining with any deal of clarity wherein the disrespectful action lies.
I don't have to be "nice" to be respectful. I don't have to coddle someone to demonstrate that I have respect for them.
Also, and this is the truth, in some situations, respect is not a two way street. In some situations, you will have to respect people that do not necessarily demonstrate that they respect you in turn (at least not on your terms). What: are you going to tell your boss, "You have to earn my respect?" Would you tell your teacher/professor, "You have to earn my respect?" Would you say that to your parents?
Sometimes, because of your position and because, yes, hierarchies do exist, you will have to show immediate deference to people just by virtue of their position relative to yours. It is a good lesson to learn while you are young and adaptable.
ETA: Most of my comments are broad and not necessarily sorority pledge period specific.
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Totally everything I was going to say.
Jenn - there may have been reasons (like other NMs) that what was said was said. Maybe technically you are to be treated the same as sisters, but the fact is, if NMs are spouting out too many opinions on things they don't really know about at meetings, blowing off NM education or not taking it seriously, or feeling their oats a bit too much at mixers...it's not going to go over well. It's just not, no matter how much you try to legislate it away.
If it seems to come out of the blue, it is likely that something specific happened. I agree with whoever said to ask your big/sponsor/whatever-she's-called what's going on.