Sad recruitment story

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

YES!!! You GET me.

[karmelgirl]

Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement. I agree she should have gone to prefs to see if she could be happy at the 2 houses that wanted her. The reason why she didn't is that everything happened so fast....the rejection for the cast (she worked at preparing for this for a long time), then a few hours later getting rejected by the houses she thought really liked her and she liked them a lot. She couldn't reach her Rho X to talk about it. It just all came tumbling down at once and she couldn't compose herself in time to get her head around that fact that she needed to quickly get across campus, get completely dressed in cocktail attire, get herself into a happy frame of mind and get back across campus to 2 prefs where she really didn't know anyone. I think even for this kid it was just too much to ask. That is part of the sadness, because if she could have made it over to those houses it might have worked out, she knows it, I know it and you all know it. She just couldn't do it with how she was feeling.

So I reached out on this site to see if I could find some comfort among sisters that might know what it might feel like.

[mittens]

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement. I agree she should have gone to prefs to see if she could be happy at the 2 houses that wanted her. The reason why she didn't is that everything happened so fast....the rejection for the cast (she worked at preparing for this for a long time), then a few hours later getting rejected by the houses she thought really liked her and she liked them a lot. She couldn't reach her Rho X to talk about it. It just all came tumbling down at once and she couldn't compose herself in time to get her head around that fact that she needed to quickly get across campus, get completely dressed in cocktail attire, get herself into a happy frame of mind and get back across campus to 2 prefs where she really didn't know anyone. I think even for this kid it was just too much to ask. That is part of the sadness, because if she could have made it over to those houses it might have worked out, she knows it, I know it and you all know it. She just couldn't do it with how she was feeling.

So I reached out on this site to see if I could find some comfort among sisters that might know what it might feel like.

We've ALL had disappointments, but there is always light down the tunnel.

[als463]

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement. I agree she should have gone to prefs to see if she could be happy at the 2 houses that wanted her. The reason why she didn't is that everything happened so fast....the rejection for the cast (she worked at preparing for this for a long time), then a few hours later getting rejected by the houses she thought really liked her and she liked them a lot. She couldn't reach her Rho X to talk about it. It just all came tumbling down at once and she couldn't compose herself in time to get her head around that fact that she needed to quickly get across campus, get completely dressed in cocktail attire, get herself into a happy frame of mind and get back across campus to 2 prefs where she really didn't know anyone. I think even for this kid it was just too much to ask. That is part of the sadness, because if she could have made it over to those houses it might have worked out, she knows it, I know it and you all know it. She just couldn't do it with how she was feeling.
So I reached out on this site to see if I could find some comfort among sisters that might know what it might feel like.

So...wait. Did she not attend the pref parties because she was bummed out about getting cut from the play or because she didn't get her top choice? Earlier, it sounded as if she didn't ger her "top tier" choice, and now you are saying it is because she was upset about not getting a part in the play.

From what you said earlier, it sounds as if she didn't get her top choices. End of story. It is sad she didn't give those 2 chapters a chance because they must have really liked her enough to invite her back.

[karmelgirl]

it was both......if the play situation had not have occured hours earlier I think she would have been fine. Not thrilled, but she would have gone to prefs and who knows, she may have found a home. Both things happened within hours of each other....that essentially exacerbated the issue.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

it was both......if the play situation had not have occured hours earlier I think she would have been fine. Not thrilled, but she would have gone to prefs and who knows, she may have found a home. Both things happened within hours of each other....that essentially exacerbated the issue.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if the theatre department is holding tryouts the week of rush, at the same time, they are pretty much saying "be theatre or be Greek." Someone else's daughter had the same situation with band camp ALWAYS being scheduled the same week as rush. Groups can't come right out and say "we don't want Greeks", but in some campus orgs you will find a very strong anti-Greek element, and if it just "happens" that all their important stuff happens at the same time as important/mandatory Greek stuff, so sad too bad. It might not necessarily be because they think Greeks are evil, more that they don't want people dividing their time.

DISCLAIMER: I'm definitely not saying this is the way it is at every school, just saying (from seeing some friends go through it) that this might be part of the problem.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if the theatre department is holding tryouts the week of rush, at the same time, they are pretty much saying "be theatre or be Greek." Someone else's daughter had the same situation with band camp ALWAYS being scheduled the same week as rush. Groups can't come right out and say "we don't want Greeks", but in some campus orgs you will find a very strong anti-Greek element, and if it just "happens" that all their important stuff happens at the same time as important/mandatory Greek stuff, so sad too bad. It might not necessarily be because they think Greeks are evil, more that they don't want people dividing their time.

DISCLAIMER: I'm definitely not saying this is the way it is at every school, just saying (from seeing some friends go through it) that this might be part of the problem.

It's also worth pointing out that on some campuses chapters are hesitant to issue bids to PNMs who are involved in some activities because they know how much time it requires. Chapters want members who will be involved, not constantly turning in an excuse for missing meetings and such due to other obligations. Also, members with massive demands on their time can struggle with grades because there is simply not enough time left in their schedule to study.

[Carpe Aeternum]

I'm almost positive I know where your daughter goes to school. If so, recruitment registration was record high and many, many girls dropped out during the process. There were a lot of tears, a lot of major disappointments, and a lot of hurt around the campus, starting the night of the first cuts and continuing through to bid day. Your daughter might feel alone- but she is definitely not. If she needs support from her peers, she should be able to inquire around and get it. From what I understand- and from what I saw firsthand- those on the other side of recruitment were not prepared for what the PNMs faced because of the scale of rush this year.

Last fall, five houses "participated" in informal but only two invited everyone who signed up to their first events. The other three offered a few bids to friends of those in the chapters.