A unique and kind of sad recruit story

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

Mostly I was interested to see your opinion on my experience, if to you it seemed normal.

Specifically, did any of you experience other girls in your pledge class who seemed nice at first, but did some questionable things, but wasn't dismissed or reprimanded for them?

That doesn't really sound to me like "This is a story for potential PNM's that have doubts to basically say, if you have those doubts, here's why you may regret them."

Not buying it.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

Not looking for sympathy because I am (even though I guarantee no one believes this nor at this point does it matter) way past it.

There ya go.

The more you respond to what everyone is saying the deeper the hole you're digging yourself.

[Stanleypeep]

In any case,

I still stand by the Greek system if nowhere else but at URI. I would hope that you would want your PNM's to value honesty and not be two-faced. Frankly, I'd rather have someone roll their eyes at me than be sweet as pie but talk about you behind your back. (Heh, talk about unresolved dirty laundry)

I still know that that my story is a Greek story AND a life story as I learned from it myself. I'll always know that even though the entire experience had its ups and downs, I came out of it with a still positive opinion of my school's Greek system and the members within them.

I think your responses are now standing for themselves. Regardless, I still love all of my girls, sisters or not for being who they are and respecting me for who I am. That speaks volumes in my eyes, if not in yours.

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

I'll always know that even though the entire experience had its ups and downs, I came out of it with a still positive opinion of my school's Greek system and the members within them.

Then stop bashing the houses. You haven't had one consistent thing to say, from what I can see.

[AZTheta]

Here's what I 've been thinking since this thread began:

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 222–230

[Stanleypeep]

Omit the word "doth" and you have a solid argument

[SydneyK]

I know I'll regret asking this, but it's in my nature to question everything, so I can't help it.

Why share this story now? And why are you sharing it with us?

I'm having a hard time believing that you're just wanting to "compliment" Greek women, or that you're hoping to prevent PNMs from making mistakes similar to yours. All potential good intentions are overshadowed by negative remarks about certain groups on your campus, or by asking us questions about new members not being punished appropriately, etc... It really does seem like you have a hidden agenda, and until you can convince us otherwise, I have a feeling you'll continue to be treated like a troll. (And even if you give a good answer, some of us will still probably think you're lying just to save face.) The whole thing is just... off.

[Stanleypeep]

Why share this story now? And why are you sharing it with us?

To be honest, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea. But it was sparked by my own recent reflection on the last 10 years of my life and things that have happened and what I've learned. And having recognized and remembered this had happened, I recognized how far I've come in a lot of personal struggles. I have nothing to lose or gain in telling you all about those details that are more personal. However, I've never had a hard time sharing things like that with anyone, as I've always been an incredibly honest person.

It was a reflection on, I don't know if I'd call them mistakes, but choices I made where the outcome wasn't quite what I had expected. I'm a completely different person now, and having remembered my experience, I remembered how much I admired those girls that had such a commitment to and organization and each other. I was a little disappointed that I would never understand what truly brings them together as that is the experience I neglected to have.

Given all that happened, if it happened the same exact way I would likely make the same choices. In this silly reflection, I began just in boredom searching desperately to try to understand the concept of what they all had together that even though I was close with them, I wouldn't share that common experience. In my travels I stubbled upon the forum and began reading all these stories of the recruitment of other girls and the PNM's and I just felt like, I kind of owe it to the girls I was friendly with and other girls who may become part of any of these organizations, to share an honest, very personal and bittersweet account of what I experienced.

Although I recognize that some of you may or may not have been offended by my candor. I believe I stated up front, but I'll repeat it again, it was never the intent to insult, belittle, or defame any individual or organization. However, I know there are those people who respect and value honesty the way I do, and I'm sure you all know that just because you don't particularly see eye to eye with someone doesn't mean you don't respect them.

I doubt the girls I knew well or were even acquainted with will ever know, nor may they ever fully appreciate how much I respect all of those women, even the ones I didn't warm to, for their commitment to an organization and each other, one which I will never come to understand quite like they do.

I made my point with myself, call it a "peace" with myself and I'm proud of that.

I think the funny thing is...I thought, perhaps naively, this would go over much differently than it did. Based on all your reactions, which honestly I really didn't expect, it now brings up questions which I really want to ask. I would never do that. I didn't think I was really crossing any boundaries or lines by being honest. And so I won't cross those lines either, mostly for respect for my friends and for the continued respect of your organizations.

I guess I didn't suppose what I was saying was as sensitive as it seems. Some of the suspicion seems a little strange to me to be frank, because I mean, what to I have to gain other than "closure". But maybe the supsicion is rooted in part from the unspoken shared understanding that I'll never come to fully get to experience or understand myself.

Much love and good wishes to all of you girls and I still have nothing but respect and admiration.

[homeward*bound]

Originally Posted by ellebud

homeward*bound: Anytime you're in socal drop on by! Thank you so much for your kind words. And since my children have made it totally clear that we (husband and I) somehow blunder through life, with THEIR guidance to help us (if you remember my daughter's recruitment thread), thank you.

(And yes, I am fully aware that we do know...most of the time...what we are doing. )

Will do! Although I have a feeling the SoCal stores will never recover from the invasion of the black belt shopping duo!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Here's what I 've been thinking since this thread began:

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 222–230

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

Omit the word "doth" and you have a solid argument

Stanleypeep, so you agree with me that you are protesting too much? nevermind.

hmm...

[Stanleypeep]

I don't know your background, but...it seems as though you may not know exactly all of the context, or potential interpretations of the quote.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

To be honest, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea. But it was sparked by my own recent reflection on the last 10 years of my life and things that have happened and what I've learned. And having recognized and remembered this had happened, I recognized how far I've come in a lot of personal struggles. I have nothing to lose or gain in telling you all about those details that are more personal. However, I've never had a hard time sharing things like that with anyone, as I've always been an incredibly honest person.

It was a reflection on, I don't know if I'd call them mistakes, but choices I made where the outcome wasn't quite what I had expected. I'm a completely different person now, and having remembered my experience, I remembered how much I admired those girls that had such a commitment to and organization and each other. I was a little disappointed that I would never understand what truly brings them together as that is the experience I neglected to have.

Given all that happened, if it happened the same exact way I would likely make the same choices. In this silly reflection, I began just in boredom searching desperately to try to understand the concept of what they all had together that even though I was close with them, I wouldn't share that common experience. In my travels I stubbled upon the forum and began reading all these stories of the recruitment of other girls and the PNM's and I just felt like, I kind of owe it to the girls I was friendly with and other girls who may become part of any of these organizations, to share an honest, very personal and bittersweet account of what I experienced.

Although I recognize that some of you may or may not have been offended by my candor. I believe I stated up front, but I'll repeat it again, it was never the intent to insult, belittle, or defame any individual or organization. However, I know there are those people who respect and value honesty the way I do, and I'm sure you all know that just because you don't particularly see eye to eye with someone doesn't mean you don't respect them.

I doubt the girls I knew well or were even acquainted with will ever know, nor may they ever fully appreciate how much I respect all of those women, even the ones I didn't warm to, for their commitment to an organization and each other, one which I will never come to understand quite like they do.

I made my point with myself, call it a "peace" with myself and I'm proud of that.

I think the funny thing is...I thought, perhaps naively, this would go over much differently than it did. Based on all your reactions, which honestly I really didn't expect, it now brings up questions which I really want to ask. I would never do that. I didn't think I was really crossing any boundaries or lines by being honest. And so I won't cross those lines either, mostly for respect for my friends and for the continued respect of your organizations.

I guess I didn't suppose what I was saying was as sensitive as it seems. Some of the suspicion seems a little strange to me to be frank, because I mean, what to I have to gain other than "closure". But maybe the supsicion is rooted in part from the unspoken shared understanding that I'll never come to fully get to experience or understand myself.

Much love and good wishes to all of you girls and I still have nothing but respect and admiration.

This isn't honesty, it's throwing shade in an attempt to gain sympathy.

I mean, really.

Everything that you said about wanting to "help PNMs and give them advice" could have been done with one or 2 posts in one of our many advice threads.

It certainly could have been done without naming names.

The fact that you went through this entire detailed story (complete with random shade-throwing questions disguised as concern and chapter names) reveals your true intent.

[Stanleypeep]

Again, I don't know why I'd want sympathy. And for the PNM's the more information the better, don't you think? None of this was for any kind of attention. I'm surprised anyone even payed any notice. And I could care less about it to boot.

Take it for face value, no malicious intent. At least not on my part.

I think more than anything you should take the note of overanalyzing things and learn from my mistakes of overanalyzing things during the experience as a lesson. It makes you go crazy.

It was what it was. Plain and simple. And I'm happy for that.

[ASUADPi]

I'll probably get flamed for this but....


How about we just abandon this thread, stop replying and therefore we stop giving the OP the attention that she is obviously so richly craving!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

Again, I don't know why I'd want sympathy. And for the PNM's the more information the better, don't you think?

Unless your parents were old when they had you, you've been out of school for quite a while and the makeup of the sororities may have done a 180 from what it was when you were a student. You don't seem to realize that when a PNM going through rush googles {"URI" "Insert sorority name here"} that this page comes up and they immediately read "oh wow, XYZ sorority at URI is so and so - maybe I should rethink rushing them." Hopefully they'd be more openminded, but the fact is, if they're torn between two groups, yes, this kind of stuff CAN tip them from one to the other.

So don't give this BS about "helping the PNMs" when it's all about putting a grubby vindictive footprint in cyberspace instead.