A unique and kind of sad recruit story

[APhiAnna]

This whole thread rubbed me the wrong way too, and I had to sit down and really think about why.

To OP reminded me of somebody I know who thinks that people will like her more if they know about her difficult past. She thinks that they will be sympathetic, and that in turn the sympathy generated from her stories will make them like her.

This NEVER works!

The whole underlying theme of this whole thread seemed to be about getting sympathy. You were overweight, nervous, so terrified of rejection that you quit, in a pledge class with people who treated you badly (I'm inferring this is what you meant by your comments), family illness and death, anxiety attacks, life regrets and so on and so forth.

It rings out "Feel sorry for me!" and most people hate the feeling of being manipulated into feeling sorry for somebody (read: very different than genuinely feeling sorry for a friend). I view statements like yours as being manipulated, because I don't know you and I don't believe your reasons for starting this thread.

EVERYBODY has had huge struggles to overcome, so most people do not like hearing about your "special circumstances", especially when we know so many people in worse circumstances who have found ways to overcome their problems and move on in life.

A general principle I've learned in life: people love being around positive people who are confident in being themselves. Once you have earned their respect, then they are willing to listen to your problems and help you out. Until then, a lot of this information is WAY too much and I agree with people who question your real reasons for posting it.

[AnotherKD]

I hate to say it, but it seems like the anti-story that PNMs should read. This is a story about 'I really wanted to rush, so I didn't, but at the last minute I did, and then I dropped out. I went back because I thought I wanted to be there, and I got a bid, but I left during my pledge period because my house essentially sucked. And look at me now! I loved college and was fine with not being Greek.'

Now, I understand that some PNMs don't finish rushing and some don't get bids, and for 99% of them I can see how their stories are very useful to other PNMs because these sort of things happen to many people and their strength through the process in turn helps others be strong while going through it. I applaud them on telling their stories. But... I don't see the value in this. And I just can't get over naming each sorority at the end. That was just too much for me.

[AnotherKD]

APhiAnna, you make a good point. We all have huge struggles to overcome. You know what? My sisters helped me through a lot of them!

[TriDeltaSallie]

I think what makes this story so different is it lacks the positive take away value of most of the other rush stories we read here. Most people who post their story either do it live (for fun and thrills) or they do a retro story that generally is instructive for future PNMs in some way. This doesn't accomplish either of those goals and I think that is why it feels awkward.

I will be the dissenting voice about the rude member. I have absolutely no trouble believing that aspect of the story. I've witnessed things and heard stories that make that situation seem downright friendly. Perhaps it might not have happened in your chapter, but it does happen. No doubt about it.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

I will be the dissenting voice about the rude member. I have absolutely no trouble believing that aspect of the story. I've witnessed things and heard stories that make that situation seem downright friendly. Perhaps it might not have happened in your chapter, but it does happen. No doubt about it.

Of course you would show up in this thread to make sure everyone knows how it supports your view that women in top tier groups are awful beotches.

I'm pretty convinced this story overall was legit, although details were embellished. The thing that makes me feel squicky is that the OP appears to have unresolved issues about her experience. I can't imagine why someone would even look for, much less join and post on, a Greek web site years after college when they weren't Greek.

I guess there's always AI.

[indygphib]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I guess there's always AI.

You're the DEVIL!

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Of course you would show up in this thread to make sure everyone knows how it supports your view that women in top tier groups are awful beotches.

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else, but I have no idea where you got that idea. Rudeness has nothing to do with tiers - it can and does happen at every "level".

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else, but I have no idea where you got that idea. Rudeness has nothing to do with tiers - it can and does happen at every "level".

No, I am not mistaking you for someone else. Perhaps you should review some of your past posts. The end.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I guess there's always AI.

Surprised it took until post #63 for this to come up.

[33girl]

Am I the only person who noticed the "mean girls" reference? Come on people, think about it.

And ETA, what a coincidence that it was Chi O that got raked over the coals ("some things that just didn't sit right"). This is incredible. It's like BA and the V's had a love child, along with a Law & Order-type twist or two. So to redeem this thread, I give you Christopher Meloni on a fur rug.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I'm pretty convinced this story overall was legit, although details were embellished. The thing that makes me feel squicky is that the OP appears to have unresolved issues about her experience. I can't imagine why someone would even look for, much less join and post on, a Greek web site years after college when they weren't Greek.

This. If it happened recently I could understand, but we're talking years later.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Zillini

This. If it happened recently I could understand, but we're talking years later.

Right.

I HIGHLY suggest that Stanleypeep seek some professional help, instead of airing out chapters on the internet.

[groovypq]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Of course you would show up in this thread to make sure everyone knows how it supports your view that women in top tier groups are awful beotches.

I'm pretty convinced this story overall was legit, although details were embellished. The thing that makes me feel squicky is that the OP appears to have unresolved issues about her experience. I can't imagine why someone would even look for, much less join and post on, a Greek web site years after college when they weren't Greek.

I guess there's always AI.

<hijack>

THANK YOU! I've used that word before, and my bf thought I was making it up!

</hijack>

I was waiting for AI to pop up...

[agzg]

Oh yay.

A. This story was more boring than my own. And my own is like... one sentence.

B. I only finished it because I knew there would be some trainwreck value.

C. I'm sorry your college life was rough. Mine was too. Maybe one day we can share stories. Except we won't, because that's MY PERSONAL BUSINESS.

D. Please oh please can this turn into a "OMG yoo guaiz are sooo meanies to newbies!" thread?

[OHNOITSJESS]

I feel like the OP just wants some sympathy, and possibly someone to sponsor her for AI (look at me! i didn't get to do it in college and i have a "good" reason! ohhhhh and i have my speech prepared for when they ask me the question of why i can't join)