Are Black Women Scaring Off Black Men

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

All stereotypes come from somewhere (including those about Black men) but that doesn't mean that they are true in a great or majority capacity. This is what many don't seem to get. If you are being truthful, then it's really a shame that you've had such experiences but you have not met most Black women, so MOST would not be the right word to use. SOME according to your personal experiences would be more accurate. Perhaps it's the circles that you have been part of or perhaps it's you. Sometimes we all need to take inventory and look at ourselves; sometimes we are the problem or part of the problem. I'm not trying to be negative or funny either. Among the many books that have impacted my life immensely over the years, probably one of my top five is one by Osho (I've read many of his books), called "Journey to the Heart." This book will encourage you to be more calm, peaceful, and patient with people and yourself. I am a Humanist so I work at understanding people better since we are often too hard on ourselves and others (which is why sometimes I break down and help the trolls on GC...DrPhil sometimes scolds me for doing this...LOL!). Anyway, the book includes real life examples and stories of how one can change an outcome or circumstance merely by thinking before they react and changing their response or reaction to things. Individuals have the power to choose a social outcome in many cases. Although, I am still a work in progress and will always be, in some cases I try to stop and think first before reacting or responding to a situation or person. Sometimes more understanding and empathy is required but I have been able to change many outcomes by responding positively instead of negatively and offering solutions instead of being a part of the problem. Good luck to you in finding that Black woman that will change your mind if that's what you seek but I am blessed to have so many beautiful, intelligent, loving, and supportive Black women in my life.

like yourself, i also have alot of wonderful, supportive, and intelligent black women in my life (including my wife, mom-in-law, mom, grandmom, etc.). you're absolutely right about me using the word "most" in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that.

it's just frustrating when i see alot of black women act the way they act (in public at that!). when i made my original comments in this thread, some of the negative comments i recieved were exactly what i expected.....shallow & misunderstood (i'm not referring to your comments in any way, of course). i just get tired of seeing sooooooo many sistas that have a gift to potentially do anything they want in their lives, but can't because of their ways.

here's a perfect example.....i have a coworker i work with here in the baltimore city public school system (BCPSS), and the woman is so outstanding at what she does, she could damn well run her own school if she could, but because of her trashy attitude, she'll never get there. again, it's an ongoing saga that i often see in many sistas.

i'll just say this....i believe black women are the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth, but they're also the least taken. now, if that doesn't draw a red flag, nothing will.

i asked one of my friends "why do you choose not to date black women?" just to see what response i would get. he said "i'll give you three words........PEACE OF MIND".

[DrPhil]

Welp, congratulations to those Black men who don't want Black women. Somewhere there's a pony with rainbows shooting out of its ass that cares.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Welp, congratulations to those Black men who don't want Black women. Somewhere there's a pony with rainbows shooting out of its ass that cares.

well, i can't speak for anyone else, but i'll say that i believe alot of black women don't know what they want. i'm not speaking of the good ones (of course), but certain levels of ignorant & shallow behavior should not be tolerated in no relationship. it puts the marriage/relationship on any uneven playing field.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

well, i can't speak for anyone else

And I can't pretend to care about this topic.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by libramunoz

This subject is as tired as they come!

Originally Posted by DrPhil

And I can't pretend to care about this topic.

forreal.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Welp, congratulations to those Black men who don't want Black women. Somewhere there's a pony with rainbows shooting out of its ass that cares.

I <3 you! I'm having the worst week ever and this made me LOL!!!

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

{applauding}

well-said.

Yeah, thanks. Though, most things that are well thought out prior to being said tend to be well-said. Think twice type once. I find it extremely disillusioning that you applaud my post, but continue to make the ill-contemplated comments that you do.

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

like yourself, i also have alot of wonderful, supportive, and intelligent black women in my life (including my wife, mom-in-law, mom, grandmom, etc.). you're absolutely right about me using the word "most" in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that.

it's just frustrating when i see alot of black women act the way they act (in public at that!). when i made my original comments in this thread, some of the negative comments i recieved were exactly what i expected.....shallow & misunderstood (i'm not referring to your comments in any way, of course). i just get tired of seeing sooooooo many sistas that have a gift to potentially do anything they want in their lives, but can't because of their ways.

here's a perfect example.....i have a coworker i work with here in the baltimore city public school system (BCPSS), and the woman is so outstanding at what she does, she could damn well run her own school if she could, but because of her trashy attitude, she'll never get there. again, it's an ongoing saga that i often see in many sistas.

i'll just say this....i believe black women are the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth, but they're also the least taken. now, if that doesn't draw a red flag, nothing will.

i asked one of my friends "why do you choose not to date black women?" just to see what response i would get. he said "i'll give you three words........PEACE OF MIND".

Next time express yourself in a clear, concise, and accurate manner and save the rest of us your "typical"/"I'm misunderstood" quips. You were not misunderstood. You failed to communicate your thoughts in an intelligible manner and then blamed everyone else for your failure instead of correcting it and apologizing.

You are the company you keep so if you find yourself constantly surrounded by black women who act in an unbecoming way then maybe you need to check yourself. You speak of these "frustrating" black women as if you are different from them. If you cannot see each of them as your sister and more importantly a direct reflection of yourself then it is you who is lacking and has the severe shortcomings.

I find it difficult to believe that you find black women to be the most beautiful beings on this earth when you constantly disrespect and degrade them by perpetuating asinine, ignorant, ass-backward stereotypes about them. If you do not understand the plethora of reasons why black women are the most beautiful, but least taken then you really shouldn't be contributing to this discussion except to ask for sources you should read to get a better understanding of the black woman and her place in American society and the world and how she has gotten here.

As for your friend who is seeking peace of mind specifically outside of the black woman... Maybe he should be searching for piece of mind. I'm quite sure once he finds that missing piece of mind he will be capable of finding peace of mind in himself and also in his sisters.

Another point that I would be remiss not to mention is that it is incredibly frustrating for what could possibly be intelligent discourse to be reduced to stereotyping and trolling. I say all of this for the purpose of achieving greater understanding as I feel somewhere in the muddled mess that you've been posting there is a slim chance that you might have some type of valid point or contribution to add to this discussion. I love a good discussion/debate, but only when it is done intelligently. Everything else is for sh*ts and giggles and the world already has too much sh*t and Dr.Phil has the giggles covered.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

Yeah, thanks. Though, most things that are well thought out prior to being said tend to be well-said. Think twice type once. I find it extremely disillusioning that you applaud my post, but continue to make the ill-contemplated comments that you do.

well, truthfully, i'm sorry you feel the way that you feel. my comments aren't "ill-comtemplated" at all......merely coming from experiences.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

I find it difficult to believe that you find black women to be the most beautiful beings on this earth when you constantly disrespect and degrade them by perpetuating asinine, ignorant, ass-backward stereotypes about them. If you do not understand the plethora of reasons why black women are the most beautiful, but least taken then you really shouldn't be contributing to this discussion except to ask for sources you should read to get a better understanding of the black woman and her place in American society and the world and how she has gotten here.

As for your friend who is seeking peace of mind specifically outside of the black woman... Maybe he should be searching for piece of mind. I'm quite sure once he finds that missing piece of mind he will be capable of finding peace of mind in himself and also in his sisters.

Another point that I would be remiss not to mention is that it is incredibly frustrating for what could possibly be intelligent discourse to be reduced to stereotyping and trolling. I say all of this for the purpose of achieving greater understanding as I feel somewhere in the muddled mess that you've been posting there is a slim chance that you might have some type of valid point or contribution to add to this discussion. I love a good discussion/debate, but only when it is done intelligently. Everything else is for sh*ts and giggles and the world already has too much sh*t and Dr.Phil has the giggles covered.

done for sh*ts? giggles? where's this coming from?

when have i "degraded" black women? i make statements based off of pure experiences, and now i've all of a sudden, i've "degraded" black women?

wow, oh boy......lol

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

And I can't pretend to care about this topic.

cool! glad we have a "mutual" agreement...lol.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

well, truthfully, i'm sorry you feel the way that you feel. my comments aren't "ill-comtemplated" at all......merely coming from experiences.

Don't be sorry be better.
" you're absolutely right about me using the word "most" in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that. "
If you are repeatedly using words incorrectly then you have not contemplated your comments enough.

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

done for sh*ts? giggles? where's this coming from?

when have i "degraded" black women? i make statements based off of pure experiences, and now i've all of a sudden, i've "degraded" black women?

wow, oh boy......lol

I can't help but think you didn't understand what I said, but it was quite clear. Anything that is not intelligent is purely for entertainment (thus for "sh*ts and giggles) and not necessary.
If you re-read the comment you'll see that I said you degraded black women by perpetuating setereotypes.
You made statements based solely on your experiences as if your experiences are indicative of "the black woman" and you also made ignorant generalizations of black women based on your "experiences". You also made yourself look foolish by stating that you've had positive black women impact your life, but continue to lump the majority of black women in to a group of "shallow" and other unbecoming adjectives people.
The fact that you do not find any of that degrading is part of the problem that black people face today.

Also, it is fine to base comments off of your experiences, but how accurate do you actually believe your measley life is when extrapolating it on to the vast majority of black women? Your opinion seems to stem from an uneducated perspective and to be based in absolutely no fact.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

Don't be sorry be better.
&quot; you're absolutely right about me using the word &quot;most&quot; in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that. &quot;
If you are repeatedly using words incorrectly then you have not contemplated your comments enough.


I can't help but think you didn't understand what I said, but it was quite clear. Anything that is not intelligent is purely for entertainment (thus for &quot;sh*ts and giggles) and not necessary.
If you re-read the comment you'll see that I said you degraded black women by perpetuating setereotypes.
You made statements based solely on your experiences as if your experiences are indicative of &quot;the black woman&quot; and you also made ignorant generalizations of black women based on your &quot;experiences&quot;. You also made yourself look foolish by stating that you've had positive black women impact your life, but continue to lump the majority of black women in to a group of &quot;shallow&quot; and other unbecoming adjectives people.
The fact that you do not find any of that degrading is part of the problem that black people face today.


Also, it is fine to base comments off of your experiences, but how accurate do you actually believe your measley life is when extrapolating it on to the vast majority of black women? Your opinion seems to stem from an uneducated perspective and to be based in absolutely no fact.

wow, ms. dr phil has arrived in the building.....lol. now you think you know me to a tee. this is really getting to be funny. now you think you now my education. you have just explained why "maturity has nothing to do with age". let me make this as clear as i can........I WAS MAKING MY STATEMENTS OFF OF EXPERIENCE! nothing more!

now, when you get your measley life together, then just maybe we can have an intellectual conversation. you're sad. truly sad....

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

like yourself, i also have alot of wonderful, supportive, and intelligent black women in my life (including my wife, mom-in-law, mom, grandmom, etc.). you're absolutely right about me using the word "most" in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that.

it's just frustrating when i see alot of black women act the way they act (in public at that!). when i made my original comments in this thread, some of the negative comments i recieved were exactly what i expected.....shallow & misunderstood (i'm not referring to your comments in any way, of course). i just get tired of seeing sooooooo many sistas that have a gift to potentially do anything they want in their lives, but can't because of their ways.

here's a perfect example.....i have a coworker i work with here in the baltimore city public school system (BCPSS), and the woman is so outstanding at what she does, she could damn well run her own school if she could, but because of her trashy attitude, she'll never get there. again, it's an ongoing saga that i often see in many sistas.

i'll just say this....i believe black women are the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth, but they're also the least taken. now, if that doesn't draw a red flag, nothing will.

i asked one of my friends "why do you choose not to date black women?" just to see what response i would get. he said "i'll give you three words........PEACE OF MIND".

This might actually be the biggest myth/stereotype being perpetuated right now. I have NEVER had a problem dating Black men, I'm married to a Black man, and so are most of my sorors and friends.

So in my world, this is totally a myth. The Black women in my life are educated, loving, independent, have great jobs/careers, own their own businesses, property, and dare I say it....most are also married! They are all doing the damn thing so sorry, I just can't relate.

If you are a queen, then you want and deserve a king. Period.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

This might actually be the biggest myth/stereotype being perpetuated right now. I have NEVER had a problem dating Black men, I'm married to a Black man, and so are most of my sorors and friends.

So in my world, this is totally a myth. The Black women in my life are educated, loving, independent, have great jobs/careers, own their own businesses, property, and dare I say it....most are also married! They are all doing the damn thing so sorry, I just can't relate.

If you are a queen, then you want and deserve a king. Period.

...and ya' know what? i can actually respect your opinions and the fact that you've been surrounded by so many of our people in a positive aspect.

DaemonSeid, i'm not bitter at all; just a person that has one question: "why"? the thing i don't understand is that this thread has a SPECIFIC title. i made my comments (some didn't come out the way i meant it to) and ultimately, i ended up apologizing for my "false" comments. rhoyaltempest, did i or did i NOT apologize for the statements that came out wrong?

DaemonSeid, i never drag my marriage into my personal thoughts because frankly, one has nothing to do with the other. in case you're wondering, my marriage is doing fine. believe it or not, she actually agrees with me on this issue whole-heartedly. but thanks for showing such genuine care.......LOL!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

the fact that you've been surrounded by so many of our people in a positive aspect.

Many of us have.

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

just a person that has one question: "why?"

Exactly.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

...and ya' know what? i can actually respect your opinions and the fact that you've been surrounded by so many of our people in a positive aspect.

DaemonSeid, i'm not bitter at all; just a person that has one question: "why?" i never drag my marriage into my personal thoughts because frankly, one has nothing to do with the other.

in case you're wondering, my marriage is doing fine. believe it or not, she actually agrees with me on this issue. but thanks for showing such genuine care.......LOL!

Actually i don't care about your marriage but this is what I see...

From everything you posted on this thread...this is how you sound:

"I love my Black women and they are beautiful, but damn, they are mean and hateful bitches!"

And I can't back a brotha up that thinks that way because when you say some bullisht like that then I am going to start wondering what is wrong with you.

MI....you sound as hateful and as bitter as the women sitting around complaining about all men are dogs or whatever it is that they complain about.

And you keep talking about you came to this lil epiphany of yours because of the experience you have had ?

Every time you keep saying "a lot" or "many" or "most" you keep clowning yourself and making yourself look like a blooming idiot basing something empirically on something that happens in your little tiny corner of the world.

It's been said once and it bears repeating..you haven't dealt with 'a lot' or even enough women on this planet to be qualified enough to do this and the opinions that contradict yours on this board prove that.

Furthermore have you EVER considered ONCE that your experiences are also based on the company you keep? That probably the reason you keep running into these types of women that shape your experience is based on the circles you run in (or who knows, maybe you watch too much TV )?

Maybe you need to up your game and the people you allow in and you won't come off sounding like a bitter old crab of a man that you are coming off as right now because trust me, not only have you been offensive to the women on this board you have been offensive to myself also and sorry to say, I dont hold sistas in such a low regard as you do.