Asking daddy's permission before proposing

[christiangirl]

^^^Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Most guys are thankful I have my own ring, no problems picking out a ring, so there's really no need to consult anyone and to keep it between ourselves.

You know, that actually sounds like an awesome idea. It eliminates shopping, pricing, and all those other things I don't like doing (and I'm sure a guy wouldn't like doing either).

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

But Vandal, if you give yourself your own ring, how do you win at life?

Because if I call it off, I still get to keep the ring no matter what! That really is full of win.

Originally Posted by christiangirl

^^^Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, that actually sounds like an awesome idea. It eliminates shopping, pricing, and all those other things I don't like doing (and I'm sure a guy wouldn't like doing either).

It worked out well since I got my grandmother's ring and my sister got our great great aunt's ring (sister was already married so nanny nanny boo boo that she didn't wear it for any of her three marriages). It also means the man I marry can perhaps take money that may have been spent on a ring and put it towards a house if I don't own one already, or to renovating the home to be green or have a better bathroom.

The guy and I talked today, and we're only looking forward for about six or so months, but the older I get the less I want a big wedding and I pretty much just want our immediate family and best friend to hop on a plane and get hitched in Tuscany or Bora Bora. I planned a big wedding for a marriage that didn't happen, and it really isn't a priority for me anymore. I want a house a great husband, and a couple kids (the house or husband can come in either order, the kids are coming last). He's also not opposed to letting the kiddos have my last name since it is going extinct and he has a brother to carry on his.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Because if I call it off, I still get to keep the ring no matter what! That really is full of win.

That is a win indeed (in my book anyway).

I think I'm with you on the small wedding thing. I've seen enough people plan big huge affairs to know that I don't want one.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think I'm with you on the small wedding thing. I've seen enough people plan big huge affairs to know that I don't want one.

Thirded. I'm soooo over big affairs. They're not even fun to be a guest at anymore.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by agzg

Thirded. I'm soooo over big affairs. They're not even fun to be a guest at anymore.

I went to my first BIG (250+) wedding this year. It was such a zoo. Definitely not my favorite wedding. I had gotten used to smallish weddings where you could really hang out with the bride and groom, and any friends you may have had there. This one, not so much. I even think the bride and groom were overwhelmed and exhausted.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I went to my first BIG (250+) wedding this year. It was such a zoo. Definitely not my favorite wedding. I had gotten used to smallish weddings where you could really hang out with the bride and groom, and any friends you may have had there. This one, not so much. I even think the bride and groom were overwhelmed and exhausted.

That IS a zoo. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with more than maybe 200 guests, and I thought that was big enough. I mean, once you have that many guests, the couple sometimes doesn't even get the chance to get around to all the tables and "visit."

And really, once you get to 200+ guests, how many of those people do you actually know (and consider to be your friends?) I think you start to get into inviting acquaintences (and like 3rd cousins) at that point.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

And really, once you get to 200+ guests, how many of those people do you actually know (and consider to be your friends?) I think you start to get into inviting acquaintences (and like 3rd cousins) at that point.

I guess it depends on the individual couple's circumstances. This couple grew up in the town they got married in, and had large families in that town, but didn't date until a few years after college and graduate school (in different areas of the country). They made a good faith effort to cut down the guest list, but it still ended up being a lot of people. If you and your husband invite your parents' siblings, your 1st cousins, best friends from high school, college, grad school, and work, that can be a ton of people right there. There weren't a lot of crazy far relations or acquaintances at that wedding. They basically had large families.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

That IS a zoo. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with more than maybe 200 guests, and I thought that was big enough. I mean, once you have that many guests, the couple sometimes doesn't even get the chance to get around to all the tables and "visit."

And really, once you get to 200+ guests, how many of those people do you actually know (and consider to be your friends?) I think you start to get into inviting acquaintences (and like 3rd cousins) at that point.

I did have 200 guests at my wedding, and I think part of that had to do with when I got married.

I was 30 years old, and so many of our guests were married or also in very serious relationships. Therefore, 200 "guests" equates to just a smidge over 100 couples.

My husband and I are from different states, attended different undergraduate colleges, different graduates schools and had jobs at two different hospitals. That is a lot of places where we each made close, sustaining friendships. Throw in sorority sisters and a similar type organization for him (sort of "eating club" type thing at his school) and it adds up fast.

We were also very active in our church and had many friends there. Take that 100 couples above, and that is approx 50 couples for each of us. Oh, and note that I haven't included any family yet, or friends of either set of parents. (my family is big, and they travel en masse for events such as this. My in-laws have a giant social circle, but most did not travel as they lived in a different state. If they had, we would have been closer to 250 )

It was important to me to greet each guest at the reception, and I can to this day remember many of the conversations. I have been married almost 6 years and people continue to tell me that the wedding was a blast, mostly because my friends and family are fun people and we made it such.

Therefore, in some cases, I do think it is possible to have a large wedding and just include the people that have had special places in your lives at different stages, and it can still have that "smaller wedding" feel. We didn't invite any "randoms," or people that we were not in continued contact with. However, I do agree that there are people who do invite everyone that they have had 2 conversations with in an effort for a gift shakedown.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

And really, once you get to 200+ guests, how many of those people do you actually know (and consider to be your friends?) I think you start to get into inviting acquaintences (and like 3rd cousins) at that point.

Just cause a cousin might be a 3rd cousin, doesn't mean they are acquaintances or people you don't really know. Some of my closest extended cousins (i.e. not from the lineage of my grandmother) are my 3rd cousins, some are even 4th cousins. So, if and when I get married, I intend on inviting most of my family (we are all a close group), which could push the guest list to 200 or 200+.