I Need Help! - Page 3

KSUViolet06 · #1 10-04-2009, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Someone said before I need to adjust my attitude. What do you think I should do?

Thanks.

Start by actually MEETING sorority women at your school before assuming that they all dress alike and have the same hobbies.

A small as your school is, there are probably quite a few in your classes, on staff at the paper, etc.

Once you meet and make friends with them, you can determine whether this is something you are interested in.

bostongreek · #2 10-04-2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Someone said before I need to adjust my attitude. What do you think I should do?

Stop trying to be a victim, for one. Your life is not a 90's college based movie and the sororities are not the stereotyped antagonists.

33girl · #3 10-05-2009, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Someone said before I need to adjust my attitude. What do you think I should do?

Stop being so judgemental.

Stop thinking joining a sorority will get you out of your rut in life. If you don't like your friends and hate dating emo boys, make new friends. You don't need to be in a sorority to do that, and quite frankly I doubt at this point that one would take you.

If your college is so small that you can't get out of your social group or meet new people, transfer to Penn State & be done with it.

Psi U MC Vito · #4 10-04-2009, 10:00 PM

Yeah, I would like to mention that even in a small school, it's not always easy to tell who is Greek and who isn't. I remember I didn't know one of my friends was Greek for 2 years until I went to a rush event and saw him there. So before you generalize, make sure you don't actually know any.

AZTheta · #5 10-04-2009, 10:14 PM

You have been given excellent suggestions from a variety of sources.

Bottom line up front: change comes from within. You get to design the plan for change. If WE design it for you, WE'RE going to get blamed when it doesn't work.

A sorority is not a panacea for fixing what's going on inside.

Wherever you go, you're taking yourself along, and until you're comfortable in your own skin, you're not going to be happy anywhere.

Good luck on your journey.

KSUViolet06 · #6 10-04-2009, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

A sorority is not a panacea for fixing what's going on inside.

Yep.

Joining a sorority is not going to be an automatic fix for not being happy with your current friend group (or not being happy with yourself).

JuliaNJ · #7 10-04-2009, 10:23 PM

Well, here's a question then:

What do you guys get being our of joining a sorority? What do you think I should expect if I end up pledging?

agzg · #8 10-04-2009, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Well, here's a question then:

What do you guys get being our of joining a sorority? What do you think I should expect if I end up pledging?

That depends entirely on the chapters at your school and you. Everyone's experience is different.

KSUViolet06 · #9 10-04-2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Well, here's a question then:

What do you guys get being out of joining a sorority? What do you think I should expect if I end up pledging?

That's hard to answer. Everyone gets something different out of it, and everyone's new member (pledging) period is different (every chapter's is different).

ASTalumna06 · #10 10-05-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

A sorority is not a panacea for fixing what's going on inside.

Yes!

We had a girl go through recruitment this semester, who I met and spoke to briefly. She didn't appear to be the "sorority type" at all, but a few of the sisters knew her, thought she might make a good sister, and invited her to events.

But eventually, everyone started to realize that (without going into too much detail) she wanted the sorority to fix all of her emotional/social problems. As the chapter advisor said, "A sorority helps girls grow in many ways.. but we're not your therapist." And I don't want you to think that I'm saying you need a therapist!

But I think maybe you should focus on you first, and truly figure out where you'd like to go from here.

Just remember that you can change yourself without the help of a sorority. That can come later.. after you figure out what it is you want to do/who you want to be.

But I have seen the goth/punk/grunge girls turn into someone who is more concerned with which designer dress to purchase. But those were personal decisions, and they weren't trying to "fit the mold" created by another person or group.

Even I wore baggy jeans and band t-shirts in middle school and the beginning of high school, and I had friends from all ends of the spectrum.. I still do. But now, I dress COMPLETELY different from how I used to... but I still enjoy listening to my Stone Temple Pilots, Bad Religion, and Underoath CDs

And my sisters have always supported me in these matters. lol

tld221 · #11 10-05-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Another problem that I might run into... I write for the school newspaper. I don't think we have any Greeks who are members of the staff, except for I think one guy who writes for the sports section. And when I was a freshman, I wrote a column about Greeks not being individuals, being conformists, etc. So I'm afraid some people might hold it against me. A few girls on my floor at the time who were pledging gave me some crap about it.

the "Lily-wearing, pearls-clutching, latte-drinking, Cancun-vacationing, DMB/Lady Gaga-listening sorority girl is just as conformist as the "angsty, mid-90s rock-band t-shirt wearing, coffee-shop, open-mic, overly artistic glasses wearing, i need to make a statement with everything i do and say" non-conformist.

you're both groups that subscribe to a certain look/culture/beliefs. and even within these over-the-top, not-entirely-accurate stereotypes there are deviants from these "norms."

Yeah... that newspaper thing can come back to get you. I dont have any advice for that.

sewpurplebat · #12 10-05-2009, 01:01 AM

All I can say is good luck. As one person said joining a sorority is not a panacea but can be a great way to connect to girls.
Also, you do not have to change your music/movie/life tastes just to fit into a greek. I personally am proud to be a metal head who looks like Elle Woods with red hair. Don't stick yourself in a cliche stereotype. People can tell when your faking it.

tld221 · #13 10-04-2009, 11:40 PM

If those are the things you want, you're going to have to suck it up and play the game a little then. The whole "be yourself" thing doesnt entirely apply here, but the core of your personality, regardless of whatever scene you're into should be similar to what sorority members tend to look for: confidence, well-spoken, good grades, involved on campus, an overall asset to the house, etc.

The great thing about college is that you learn about yourself. I mean who is really the person they used to be in high school?

Shellfish · #14 10-05-2009, 10:06 AM

Hmmm. Hmmm. I can't help recalling those Philadelphia-based recruitment stories from a couple of months ago, especially since I don't think TKE has a chapter at any of the Catholic colleges in the Philadelphia area.

Barbie's_Rush · #15 10-05-2009, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shellfish

Hmmm. Hmmm. I can't help recalling those Philadelphia-based recruitment stories from a couple of months ago, especially since I don't think TKE has a chapter at any of the Catholic colleges in the Philadelphia area.

TKE does have at least one, but I was having the same doubts about this being another EB thread. This was essentially the exact same theme as one of the recruitment threads she started with the punk-emo-alternative girl from private girl's school deciding to become a sorority girl. If this does happen to be EB again, someone needs a whole lot more help than a message board or college counselor could provide.