No place for average PNMs?

[APhiAnna]

To be honest too, sometimes the advice given on here is more focused on what an alumni/advisor would like to hear in recruitment rather than what a 19 year old sophomore is actually going to want to hear. For example, I agree it's good to ask questions about the philanthropy, GPA, etc. But if it's been two parties and all she's done is ask questions about the chapter, she's gained a lot of information about the sorority but the sorority has gained none about her. They may be stuck...sitting around thinking, "well, she's obviously interested, but can I see hanging out with this girl in my sweatpants around the TV? Can I see myself wanting to be her big? Will she be fun to be with at socials?". So I think it is REALLY important to make sure the actives are learning as much about you as you are learning about them...GPA and community service are great, but at the end of the day we want a sister and at some schools EVERY PNM coming through has incredible GPA, activities and community service.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

To be honest too, sometimes the advice given on here is more focused on what an alumni/advisor would like to hear in recruitment rather than what a 19 year old sophomore is actually going to want to hear. For example, I agree it's good to ask questions about the philanthropy, GPA, etc. But if it's been two parties and all she's done is ask questions about the chapter, she's gained a lot of information about the sorority but the sorority has gained none about her. They may be stuck...sitting around thinking, "well, she's obviously interested, but can I see hanging out with this girl in my sweatpants around the TV? Can I see myself wanting to be her big? Will she be fun to be with at socials?". So I think it is REALLY important to make sure the actives are learning as much about you as you are learning about them...GPA and community service are great, but at the end of the day we want a sister and at some schools EVERY PNM coming through has incredible GPA, activities and community service.

This.

Conversation is SO important.

At the end of the day, if all PNMs are pretty much equal in terms of grades, recs, and other tangibles, the girls who are going to get the invites are the ones that the members can actually SEE themselves hanging out with in real life. The only way members can discern that is through CONVERSATION.

So while it is good to want to talk to sorority members about the sorority, PNMs need to remember that at the end of the day, that member needs to know about YOU as a PERSON and whether she can see you as a friend and part of the chapter.

With that said, I think conversation comes into play in a lot of these "my daughter didn't get a bid" stories. Mom comes here and says "I don't know what happened, she has a 4.0, was a cheer captain, and had a full slate of recs."

What I think parents fail to understand is that they WEREN'T THERE to see the actual INTERACTIONS between her daughter and the sorority members. It is entirely possible that she was AMAZING on paper, but the conversations just weren't there.

These ARE just my opinions though peeps, so feel free to disagree with me.

[RhoGamma09]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

To be honest too, sometimes the advice given on here is more focused on what an alumni/advisor would like to hear in recruitment rather than what a 19 year old sophomore is actually going to want to hear. For example, I agree it's good to ask questions about the philanthropy, GPA, etc. But if it's been two parties and all she's done is ask questions about the chapter, she's gained a lot of information about the sorority but the sorority has gained none about her. They may be stuck...sitting around thinking, "well, she's obviously interested, but can I see hanging out with this girl in my sweatpants around the TV? Can I see myself wanting to be her big? Will she be fun to be with at socials?". So I think it is REALLY important to make sure the actives are learning as much about you as you are learning about them...GPA and community service are great, but at the end of the day we want a sister and at some schools EVERY PNM coming through has incredible GPA, activities and community service.

This is really important. I am a living example of that, I went through, and I knew a lot about my first choice sorority, so I didnt have to ask really many questions, and I was relaxed and talking and we just had fun. At the other houses, I didnt really know what they were about, and I (always have a lot of questions anyways!) got so into finding out about them, I forgot to actually make an impression.

I did fine and I got my first choice, but yes, there was a huge difference in the way I acted between the first choice and all the others! So this is something to consider! I know that I made a couple key "mistakes" in maximizing how many chapters I got invited back to, but I was one of the lucky ones and even though I kind of suicided, I was a perfect fit my for my first choice and got a bid.....for many girls though, it doesnt work out so well, and they honestly mightve just not made an impression, or blew off all the wrong houses.