No place for average PNMs?

[angels&angles]

Also, sometimes members have their own reasons to cut a girl. I have a very good friend who was released from all chapters. This girls is cute, incredibly smart (I believe she was 2nd in the class, pre-med, all top honors), and nice. However, she was very religious and a little awkward. By the time we graduated I think any sorority would be blessed to have her, but apparently during pre-rush activities she really turned some members off, with her talk of religion and her over enthusiasm.

I can imagine her mother coming on here to say "What happened?" because the girl IS pretty, smart, talented and nice. She just didn't make a good impression on THOSE girls, even if she might have made a good impression on others.

Most of the other girls I know who got cross-cut had reputation or alcohol problems (again not something their mothers probably knew about). The rest all had choices and refused them. It's a pet peeve of mine when girls say they "got released from recruitment" or "cut by all the chapters," when they really had a bid or invitation to one or two groups. I don't know why ANYONE would rather say that they were undesirable to all groups rather than say something like "I decided sorority life wasn't for me right now," or something. I understand not wanting to be a member of the chapter if you really didn't click with the girls, but why paint it as them rejecting you rather than a reasoned decision you made on your own?

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

I can imagine her mother coming on here to say "What happened?" because the girl IS pretty, smart, talented and nice. She just didn't make a good impression on THOSE girls, even if she might have made a good impression on others.

Exactly!

I often wonder when I read these stories and think to myself, "wow, I didn't realize that God created so many perfect creatures".

The bottom line is that sometimes a person can rub others the wrong way and with initial impressions, it can blow your chances. Over the years, I have interviewed thousands of people for jobs and hired hundreds. Many times when I didn't hire a person, someone would say, "I know Jane So-And-So. Once you get to know her, she is really a nice person". Well, Jane So-And-So needs to realize that a first impression is sometimes your only impression. Jane may have said something without thinking, implied something or it was 'how' she said something that turned someone off.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

Why paint it as them rejecting you rather than a reasoned decision you made on your own?

Simple.

If you paint it as being rejected, then you can blame the system and talk about how "tough it is."

It's alot easier for a PNM to say "recruitment at ___ sucks, it's all about who you know. I heard that 800 girls were cut this year after first rounds! It was sooo brutal!" than it is to admit to dropping out of the process and not giving it a chance.

There are quite a few times I've seen a post saying "I went bidless!" only to have the PNM come back (after someone asks) and say "Well I did get one invite to XYZ but I didn't see myself there."

PNMs are certainly allowed to accept/decline any invites they get, or drop out of recruitment. However, I feel like if you do, you forfeit the right to complain about how the system works.