DD needs advice - Texas A&M pref tonight...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

and, she should be cordial and respectful to all of the women in the chapters she attends.

YES.

Absolutely.

Just because the other chapters aren't her first choice, does not mean that she should show up to their parties and huff, pout, act bored, be rude, or otherwise disrespect the chapter. And yes, bored, disinterested behavior is rude.

Contrary to popular belief, this does not make you more likely to get a bid to your top choice. It just makes you rude.

Every chapter worked very hard to put together their Pref parties, so it's very important for PNMs to respect that and at least be polite.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

YES.

Absolutely.

Just because the other chapters aren't her first choice, does not mean that she should show up to their parties and huff, pout, act bored, be rude, or otherwise disrespect the chapter. And yes, bored, disinterested behavior is rude.

Contrary to popular belief, this does not make you more likely to get a bid to your top choice. It just makes you rude.

Every chapter worked very hard to put together their Pref parties, so it's very important for PNMs to respect that and at least be polite.

Yes. This.

All PNMs would be wise to read this post. KSU is correct- it is an absolute myth that trying to convince your 2nd choice chapter to rate you low will make you more likely to get a bid to the chapter that you want. There is absolutely no truth to this.

Best to your daughter.

[NewAggieMom]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

YES.

Absolutely.

Just because the other chapters aren't her first choice, does not mean that she should show up to their parties and huff, pout, act bored, be rude, or otherwise disrespect the chapter. And yes, bored, disinterested behavior is rude.

Contrary to popular belief, this does not make you more likely to get a bid to your top choice. It just makes you rude.

Every chapter worked very hard to put together their Pref parties, so it's very important for PNMs to respect that and at least be polite.

My daughter would never dream of behaving in such a way, and I hope that my question about being "more reserved" was not construed to mean "behave rudely." She just wanted to know if it was alright to express enthusiasm at a particular house. (and, yes, she realizes that she may not even be invited back.)

The Rho Gammas have instructed them to be very honest this evening, so she will follow their advice.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by NewAggieMom

My daughter would never dream of behaving in such a way, and I hope that my question about being "more reserved" was not construed to mean "behave rudely." She just wanted to know if it was alright to express enthusiasm at a particular house. (and, yes, she realizes that she may not even be invited back.)

The Rho Gammas have instructed them to be very honest this evening, so she will follow their advice.

It's perfectly ok to express enthusiasm when visiting a chapter for Pref, as long as it's not overdone.

The point of my previous post was mostly to point out that acting less interested at other chapters, doesn't increase the chance of getting into your number one choice.

Alot of times, PNMs think that they love ABC, and if they convince MNO and XYZ at Pref that they are not interested, they'll for SURE get a bid to ABC.

Not so.

It's a common misconception and I wanted to clear that up just in case it was something you/your daughter/other PNMs were thinking.

Best of luck to her! I hope things work out the way she'd like them to.

[ComradesTrue]

^^^ my response (and likely KSU as well) was more directed at all PNMs and not necessarily your daughter. PNMs come on here quite frequently and comment about being rude in chapters that they are not as interested in. Many of them falsely believe that if the 2nd choice group ranks them high then that will trump them getting their 1st choice.

Bid matching doesn't work like that. There is no need to be quiet, disinterested, rude, or anything else. Good manners always win.

ETA: yep, KSU and I posted at the same time. Same thought pattern.