Being Sexually Harassed at Work! Please Help!!!

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Actually, it would help and make her feel a little more comfortable at least in her own home. Ya know, it would totally suck if everytime I picked up my phone only to hear and see verbal and disgusting text messages from some controlling, perverted, pompous asshole, who just happened to be my boss. Yep, having their phone numbers and being able to reach employees is the "norm" at most jobs, but calling them 24/7 (like she posted) and being a perverted, sexual harrassing pig doesn't sound like the "norm" to me at ANY job. Period.

OP, you really should change your number as long as it doesn't erase the evidence that you'll need to show your attorney.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Of course what her boss is doing is not the norm, but I think I'm agreeing with VandalSquirrel here. If she changes her phone number, then she'll just have to give the new number to people at work and boss will call the new number.

It seems to me that what she needs is CallerID, which her cellphone should already have. Use CallerID to screen the calls and don't answer it when it's creepy boss -- make him leave a message. And if he leaves inappropriate messages, document them and find a way to keep a recording of them. Also, use the cellphone caller memory to keep a log of all calls from him, with date and time, whether he leaves a message or not.

Again, this is one of those things a lawyer who practices in this area could give her the best advice about.

Originally Posted by 33girl

All you need to give your work is an emergency phone number where you can be reached. It does NOT have to be your cell phone number - it can be your next door neighbor's phone number if that's where you can be reached in an emergency (like, bomb threat at the office and don't come in).

Contrary to popular belief, your workplace does not have the right to contact you at all hours of the day or night. I refused to give out my cell # at my ex-job and somehow people got it anyway which pissed me off.

G M - change your cell number (but see if your service carrier can figure out a way for you to keep any previous icky texts or vms for documentation purposes). If they insist on a "number where you can be reached" give them your parents' or a friend's land line. With what she's going through, "let it go to voice mail/check the caller ID" doesn't cut it. It's about feeling sick in the pit of your stomach anytime you see any evidence of this jerkwad.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

MC, I agree with this part, but I still would change my number and no I wouldn't give it to anyone else at work, especially to a company that won't lift a finger to do anything about a disgusting boss. Period.


Thank you.

33girl, I agree with you 110%.

Depending on one's position they may not have a choice in being "unreachable" and in fact doing that may tip the boss off and as she deleted previous evidence she'd have none. At my job I have to provide a home and emergency number, and fortunately if this was going on at my job it would have been handled better due to our structure. I'm a supervisor and there is no way I'd be able to function in my position by not letting my underlings and my overlords have my number. As much as we'd like to prevent people from bothering us, it just isn't always practical or possible. Depending on the company and the position being reached by phone is important for a lot of reasons, and in this case actually will provide evidence that was previously lost.

As someone who was a victim of harassment and stalking (not at work) changing my phone number may have stopped the person from calling or texting me, but if I didn't have those voice mails, missed calls, and texts it would have been a lot harder to prove my case (he was showing up at my home, work, classes, filing false police reports, talking to my friends, family, and coworkers). At least in my state harassment by phone is a crime and that law wouldn't have been enforceable by changing my phone number. This is why going to a lawyer is key, it may be a way to prove a crime is occurring. Plus for me, changing my number would have given in and let him know he had power over me, and I refused to let him screw up my life anymore than he already had. I considered getting a prepaid phone to use in the interim, but my sense of pride (and finances) made me change my mind.