Most Ignant thing you've heard in class/anywhere

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

That's the vibe I got as well, but it's the "you people" I was hung up on. I might not have walked out, but she would've gotten the "WTF" face.

Hmmm, your response seems a little contradictory. In that context the "you people" would not have bothered me. Should she have said you non-Chinese people? Some of "us people" need to be more selective in picking our battles.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Hmmm, your response seems a little contradictory. In that context the "you people" would not have bothered me. Should she have said you non-Chinese people? Some of "us people" need to be more selective in picking our battles.

I understand that the woman did not mean to be offensive, but I don't like being referred to as "you people" no matter what the context. I don't like the way it sounds and, while I won't walk away or fuss, the look on my face reflects that sentiment. There's nothing contradictory about that.

In my Multicultural class, I recounted my story of a white student at our school asking my opinion as a "colored" woman. I knew she didn't mean any harm, but she got "the face." It bothered me and I let her know it in as non-confrontational a way as I could.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I understand that the woman did not mean to be offensive, but I don't like being referred to as "you people" no matter what the context. I don't like the way it sounds and, while I won't walk away or fuss, the look on my face reflects that sentiment. There's nothing contradictory about that.

In my Multicultural class, I recounted my story of a white student at our school asking my opinion as a "colored" woman. I knew she didn't mean any harm, but she got "the face." It bothered me and I let her know it in as non-confrontational a way as I could.

How do you know she got the message? If it bothers you that much then you should say something in a diplomatic way. Otherwise they will keep doing it.

As for the term "you people" are you guys, you all, or y'all okay? To me it is a matter of context not the words themselves.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

How do you know she got the message? If it bothers you that much then you should say something in a diplomatic way. Otherwise they will keep doing it.

As for the term "you people" are you guys, you all, or y'all okay? To me it is a matter of context not the words themselves.

If it is a matter of context for you, that's fine. I don't like the phrase at all. IME none of the other phrases has never been said to me in demeaning way. "You people" has so I don't like that one and will make that preference known if someone is talking to me.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

If it is a matter of context for you, that's fine. I don't like the phrase at all. IME none of the other phrases has never been said to me in demeaning way. "You people" has so I don't like that one and will make that preference known if someone is talking to me.

Well I definitely can't dispute your experiences, nor should I. It's just too bad that the the intended use of the term to demean is still perceived as such today. I guess for me it is one of those "don't sweat the small stuff" since in my experiences I have been demeaned in much worse fashion.

The next time someone uses the term, try using it term back at them and see how they respond. You might find it funny, because my guess is it will go over their heads. And if you really push it they will be bewildered. LOL

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

How do you know she got the message? If it bothers you that much then you should say something in a diplomatic way. Otherwise they will keep doing it.

As for the term "you people" are you guys, you all, or y'all okay? To me it is a matter of context not the words themselves.

"You guys" is only okay if the speaker is talking to/about a group of guys.

ETA: I laughed when I read christiangirl say that "you guys" has never been used with her in a condescending tone. I understand that people, particularly women, jokingly and lightheartedly use it out of habit. However, as far as I and many are concerned, there's no noncondescending way to assume gender, race, class, or sexual orientation neutrality. I am not a "guy," even on my worst day. So, save the references to maleness for when you're only talking about or to males.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I understand that the woman did not mean to be offensive, but I don't like being referred to as "you people" no matter what the context. I don't like the way it sounds and, while I won't walk away or fuss, the look on my face reflects that sentiment. There's nothing contradictory about that.

Well, "you people" can have non-race implications that depend on the tone and the context. That's just something to keep in mind because the longer you live, the more you'll experience.

But, if something catches your attention, and you want to give the person the benefit of the doubt, simply say in a neutral tone "yes, many Americans only like crab legs...but some of us eat whole crabs." Even if the person was being racial, that can remove whatever context that person intended and many people will get the point. If they are adament, they will try to assert the racial implications by saying "no, I meant Black people" to which you can respond with "oh, please, next time just say 'Black people' instead of 'you people'...I find that plenty of Black people love whole crabs if we can find restaurants that serve it, etc."

Facial expressions can be passive aggressive and just as silly as walking away or fussing. Most professional and nonprofessional contexts are opportunities for adults to talk and to learn, in nonconfrontational and noncondescending tones. Again, facial expressions can be extremely confrontational and passive aggressive, so next time also simply talk to your "colored" classmate.