I just need to vent. What a MISTAKE!!!

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Kevin

If nothing else, it must feel great to be sitting in a room *knowing* that you're better than everyone else, yes?

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Not really, lol!

Does anyone else see what I did there?

[humblerumble]

Im not really sure what you "saw"...what I basically meant was that I don't take an ounce of pleasure in any kind of "assumed" notion that I am better than anyone. I'm not attempting to start a back and forth, or be argumentative, I just wanted to be clear on that. When I said "not really", I basically meant that I take no pleasure in being thought of as "better than" anyone, or telling myself that I am.

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

Please don't make it seem as though I'm not saying what others are thinking. And I've tried to initiate change. It's either too much trouble, no one has the time, or the money, or I am labeled as being "stuck up" because I like to do my hair, dress nice, wear makeup, and I carry myself a certain way.

I LIVE for community service, but I've found that the rules and constraints of a sorority, coupled with the overall lack of people really stepping up to get the job done, makes it difficult for me to do things in my community (in the name of my sorority, that is. I do a great deal on my own).


The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

Please don't make it seem as though I'm not saying what others are thinking. And I've tried to initiate change. It's either too much trouble, no one has the time, or the money, or I am labeled as being "stuck up" because I like to do my hair, dress nice, wear makeup, and I carry myself a certain way.

I LIVE for community service, but I've found that the rules and constraints of a sorority, coupled with the overall lack of people really stepping up to get the job done, makes it difficult for me to do things in my community (in the name of my sorority, that is. I do a great deal on my own).


The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

Demanding behavior from another person as to their "shoulds" will only be disheartening to you.

First, you have no right to post volatile comments on GC like this using terms like "Soror" and "induction" thereby narrowing down choices as to who you are and what organization you are in. It is disrespectful to your chosen, select and paid for organization. If you have a problem with your sorority sisters, you confront them in an organized setting. If you are too scared to do so, being a neophyte, I can imagine how scared you are, then revoke your membership... Get expelled or go inactive. And once you make that decision, do not back down. We are all adults making adult choices.

Blaming your lack of family familiarity and experience shows that you lack trust and support from your own members who actually saw you as an asset to the organization! One of my closest friends who is a member of DST, practically became chapter president within 5 years of her membership!!! She was that well put together. It is my understanding she connected up with what her International Organization requested all chapters were to do at the time...

That is a matter of KNOWING YOUR DOCUMENTS!!! How well do you know yours? Constitution & Bylaws? Other documents all members must know? Who are your mentors within your organization--locally, regionally, Internationally?

I could see if you had 20 years under your belt and were burnt out... But 4 years? Wow!!! After 4 years, I felt like I was still pledging for the hayle I caught... I did not feel like full-fledge member until 10 years of membership!!!

Get it together and stop disrespecting your sorority sisters publicly!

[humblerumble]

I appreciate your response. To answer your questions, I know my Constitution and Bylaws front to back. I know my history front to back, I know my past and current officers front to back. This is part of the reason why I AM so down. Because I've given so much to this org, and I feel like it's just not for me.

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org, anyone's names, etc., as my intention is not to be inflammatory and rude. It was to come here and vent HONESTLY about what I feel.

That's all. I'm not here to debate whether or not I have the RIGHT to these feelings, or the right to voice them, because I do. I'm not here to debate 4years of membership vs 10. There are some people that do more work in 2 years than someone who's been around for 40! It's not about any of that. It's not about putting my expectations on others. I feel as a member of an org, I am a representative of the whole, and vice versa. I'm not happy with the reflection, that's all. And I'm not making excuses, I'm being honest. I've never blamed this choice on anyone. It was my fault for not educating myself, and I admit that.

I can turn in my letters, I can formally ask to resign, and be granted that request, but I can't then go to another org because the rules don't allow it. However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not. Who knows...I'm just down in the dumps about this...that's all.


It's about the bottom line...that I came here merely to vent, and I thank you all for your responses.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org . . . .

Not in so many words, but seriously, it's not hard at all to figure out what organization you're talking about.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not.

I seriously doubt that. I'm lane-swerving here, but with what I can see, I highly, highly doubt this statement. Sure, your particular chapter may not be around, but the organization will still exist. And I'm pretty sure a chapter losing it's charter doesn't grant you the opportunity to join another NPHC sorority.

Originally Posted by MexicanMami0286

Perhaps, you should consider joining another chapter. If you're in a metro area, you may have several to choose from or you could consider simply participating as a member-at-large and continue the work of your organization that way (or continue participating in the service you've been doing with other organizations).

Once again, not in the NPHC, so I'm not sure: but if things are unbearable for you locally, can't you do this?

[KSUViolet06]

Geez, you sleep in and you miss all the fun around here, lol.

[MexicanMami0286]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Geez, you sleep in and you miss all the fun around here, lol.

Awww! Dang!

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Geez, you sleep in and you miss all the fun around here, lol.

That is why I QFP'd! You and my sister OTW have done it for me so many times I thought I'd return the favor

[MexicanMami0286]

Originally Posted by AOEforme

Once again, not in the NPHC, so I'm not sure: but if things are unbearable for you locally, can't you do this?

Oh yeah! It's definitely an option. There's nothing wrong with joining another chapter (of the same organization, of course) - if one is available (and if you are a resident of that area). In my area, there are about four chapters that I could join, or I could choose to be a member-at-large.

Every chapter has a different dynamic...I think that's something important to keep in mind. There are always good and bad things in any organization and in any chapter, but there are things one can do to improve certain things, ignore certain things, or disband themselves from certain things.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

I appreciate your response. To answer your questions, I know my Constitution and Bylaws front to back. I know my history front to back, I know my past and current officers front to back. This is part of the reason why I AM so down. Because I've given so much to this org, and I feel like it's just not for me.

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org, anyone's names, etc., as my intention is not to be inflammatory and rude. It was to come here and vent HONESTLY about what I feel.

That's all. I'm not here to debate whether or not I have the RIGHT to these feelings, or the right to voice them, because I do. I'm not here to debate 4years of membership vs 10. There are some people that do more work in 2 years than someone who's been around for 40! It's not about any of that. It's not about putting my expectations on others. I feel as a member of an org, I am a representative of the whole, and vice versa. I'm not happy with the reflection, that's all. And I'm not making excuses, I'm being honest. I've never blamed this choice on anyone. It was my fault for not educating myself, and I admit that.

I can turn in my letters, I can formally ask to resign, and be granted that request, but I can't then go to another org because the rules don't allow it. However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not. Who knows...I'm just down in the dumps about this...that's all.


It's about the bottom line...that I came here merely to vent, and I thank you all for your responses.

Venting does not work. It fails to lead to resolution of issues. Days, months, years from now, you will still be ruminating about how "A" member treated you...

See, here's the thing, if you were denied membership, you'd be writing angry letters to the International office as to why you were blackballed!

So sad. Really, because it says something about how you view sisterhood in your Sorority through the lenses of your current chapter. What did you expect people would say here? You thought you had GC friends? You thought you could share this with random people where you could not feel you could share to your sorority sisters or to their faces? WTH? You don't trust your own sorority to do right by you?

That's really lame...

Please, turn in your letters... Save your Sorority the grief...

[humblerumble]

Thank you for your OPINION AKA Monet.
You may now refrain from talking to me.

Oh wait...you don't HAVE to refrain from anything.
Because much like it's my right to vent, in this forum if I choose, it's your right to respond. I don't think I have "GC" friends. Nor was I seeking agreement, hand holding or head patting. I merley came to vent.
You came to read and respond.

Now that we are clear...you can move on

And no one can GUESS what org I am referring too. It must have flown over my head that only NPHC orgs say "Soror". That's news to me. If anyone is GUESSING or ASSUMING what org I am referring to, that very well may prove why these issues are of concern to me. The very fact that people I've never met, on an online forum MAY be able to ASSUME which org I am referring to, is pitiful. It means the rep of the org is obvious, and that's a shame.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Thank you for your OPINION AKA Monet.
You may now refrain from talking to me.

Oh wait...you don't HAVE to refrain from anything.
Because much like it's my right to vent, in this forum if I choose, it's your right to respond. I don't think I have "GC" friends. Nor was I seeking agreement, hand holding or head patting. I merley came to vent.
You came to read and respond.

Now that we are clear...you can move on

And no one can GUESS what org I am referring too. It must have flown over my head that only NPHC orgs say "Soror". That's news to me. If anyone is GUESSING or ASSUMING what org I am referring to, that very well may prove why these issues are of concern to me. The very fact that people I've never met, on an online forum MAY be able to ASSUME which org I am referring to, is pitiful. It means the rep of the org is obvious, and that's a shame.

Wow, I must have struck a nerve... It must not be just my opinion solely for you to speak so harshly.

Ask yourself why you have a heightened response, then ask yourself why you cannot answer my questions?

You wanted honest feedback and understanding didn't you? Otherwise, you would have put a huge comment in bold letters not asking anyone to respond in kind.

Doubt anyone would have ignored your posts, though.

The other issue is that everyone knows what happens in chapter meetings, stays in chapter meeting. That is a part of sisterliness, privacy and confidentiality. You made some effort to commit to your demoted sorority. That is what I take issue with.

Why an invitation was extended to you to join, one will NEVER know. Unfortunately, you are somebody's sorority sister, which makes you look more pathetic...

You are out of the pecking order here... Keep responding to my posts, the more I have to dissect your misdirected comments...

Welp, out of respect, of your foot and mouth disorder, I will stop responding to you. When you need help, you know where you can find it. A request for your IP address can be made, but no one cares enough to know your dysfunction.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Thank you for your OPINION AKA Monet.
You may now refrain from talking to me.

Flounce!

But really humblerumble, if you really cared about the values and mission of your sorority you would have taken the initiative to do something about these perceived problems (instead of complaining) and shown some compassion to your sisters (instead of disdain). Just my opinion...

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Thank you for your OPINION AKA Monet.
You may now refrain from talking to me.

Oh wait...you don't HAVE to refrain from anything.
Because much like it's my right to vent, in this forum if I choose, it's your right to respond. I don't think I have "GC" friends. Nor was I seeking agreement, hand holding or head patting. I merley came to vent.
You came to read and respond.

Now that we are clear...you can move on

And no one can GUESS what org I am referring too. It must have flown over my head that only NPHC orgs say "Soror". That's news to me. If anyone is GUESSING or ASSUMING what org I am referring to, that very well may prove why these issues are of concern to me. The very fact that people I've never met, on an online forum MAY be able to ASSUME which org I am referring to, is pitiful. It means the rep of the org is obvious, and that's a shame.

So, have you really put in a lot of effort on your own to change the local reputation of your org? Really? Have you thought for a moment that your being XYZ in your area has made other people rethink what they thought they knew about your org?

I'm not trying to attack you, but it sounds like you're failing to realize that your org is much bigger than your local chapter and the city you live in. Plus, something tells me you can't possibly live in a large city if people in your area are really that stuck on stereotypes in 2009. I don't know what org you're in (although anyone who keeps up with news might have good educated guesses), but there are people across the country and globe that know how sensational my beloved sorority is despite any localized stereotypes or what others think they know. It's called being well-traveled and well-versed. Learning the truth for yourself. I can empathize with you, humblerumble, but after 8 years in the game, I wish someone would say something negative about my beloved Sigma to my face. *scoffs at the idea* This level of attitude did not happen overnight. I just think you need some time to get to that point in your sisterhood.

I'll go against the grain (that's why I'm a Sigma) and say maybe you should do some serious soul-searching and consider if you've given your sisterhood 100% in all areas - including your heart. Granted, you might have missed some lessons on sisterhood with this vent of yours, but maybe you need to attend some state, regional, and/or national events so you can see how great your sisterhood is. Make sure you're careful before you remove yourself form the org and make an irreversible decision you could regret 10 or 20 years from now.

Good Luck.