NY Mom kicks kids out of car and drives off.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by paulam

What a great father and what a lucky little boy.

It only takes a moment for a predator to pick up a child out on the street. Why would anyone think this woman was a good mother for placing her children in that position? When she learned the 10 year old was missing, she seemed to realize something terrible could have happened to her child. If she were so wonderful, she would not have placed her daughter in danger. To me that is failing your child.

Why would anyone think she was a TOTAL FAILURE either?

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Why would anyone think she was a TOTAL FAILURE either?

Because she failed. Totally.

I hope she's never allowed to be around children again.

[Senusret I]

Greek Chat is so fucking ridiculous.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

Because she failed. Totally.

I hope she's never allowed to be around children again.

You know...it's just one incident...one would really have to see what her home life is like to make that determination.

Question: For those of you that call her a total failure, how many of you have children?

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

You know...it's just one incident...one would really have to see what her home life is like to make that determination.

Question: For those of you that call her a total failure, how many of you have children?

Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh, but...

if she were my wife, I would be thinking divorce.

Seriously. I'm not trusting anyone that would put a child in danger like that. A question for you: Would you leave your ten year old daughter (or 12 or both) alone on the street?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Greek Chat is so fucking ridiculous.

Of course.

Clearly, this would not be "news" if the police had not gotten involved. Many people who are over-the-top outraged may even find this ordeal humorous or a lesson learned by the children because there was no harm caused. So if this makes this woman a TOTAL FAILURE then 99% of parents are TOTAL FAILURES. Almost every parent has done something at home or in public that an OUTSIDER would consider completely inappropriate or a risk to the child. Things done in moderation like raising your voice, spanking, or allowing a 12 yo child to walk a few miles to school in the suburbs have been criticized as being potentially unsafe for kids. If the police and CPS were called, I wonder how many otherwise excellent parents with well-disciplined kids (most of the time) would be labeled TOTAL FAILURES.

I'm also amused how people in here are acting like parenting isn't a 24/7 job. You don't raise children with discipline and then take a vacation because these children will always act the way they are supposed to. There are plenty of well raised kids who act up at the most inopportune times. From the outside looking in, it's easy to say "you should start sooner and raise them better." There are a lot of badass kids in schools who were raised extremely well. Kids act out for reasons beyond a lack of discipline. Sometimes they act out for attention and they know that "good kids turned bad" get more of a reaction from the shocked parents and other adults.

As for the notion that when we were little, parents could make us walk but that could never occur now because "those were simpler times": Child offenders were ALWAYS around and they NEVER went too far from their residence to prey on children. The media covers child offenders more but there is no consistent data to suggest that child offenders are more prevalent now than in decades past. So that child who was left to walk those 3 miles in 2009 is in as much danger as that child in 1999...1989...1979...unless there is crime data for particular areas to suggest otherwise.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

You know...it's just one incident...one would really have to see what her home life is like to make that determination.

Question: For those of you that call her a total failure, how many of you have children?

That's my whole thing - I mean, you can say she made a bad decision here, but saying she's a "total failure" as a parent is going too far. It screams "Ivory Tower."

I'm not sure if it matters whether those people are parents, though. Just because someone's a parent doesn't make them an expert on parenting. It just means they've been able to put their own parenting philosophy into practice.

[paulam]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

You know...it's just one incident...one would really have to see what her home life is like to make that determination.

Question: For those of you that call her a total failure, how many of you have children?

I have 35 years experience as a mother, who, while not perfect raised two wonderful sons. I also raised my stepson who is nearly 40. That was very difficult but we managed, through loving discipline, to get him to adulthood. So yes, I do know what a good mother does and does not do, even under extreme circumstances. It's the most difficult, yet rewarding job anyone can ever have.

Most of the responses questioning my use of "total failure" have been from males. Do you have children? Would you leave them alone on a commercial street?

Paula M
Sigma Delta Tau
Patrae Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by paulam

while not perfect

Imperfect enough to be labeled a total failure by an outsider.

Nothing else matters.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by paulam

I have 35 years experience as a mother, who, while not perfect raised two wonderful sons. I also raised my stepson who is nearly 40. That was very difficult but we managed, through loving discipline, to get him to adulthood. So yes, I do know what a good mother does and does not do, even under extreme circumstances. It's the most difficult, yet rewarding job anyone can ever have.

Most of the responses questioning my use of "total failure" have been from males. Do you have children? Would you leave them alone on a commercial street?

Paula M
Sigma Delta Tau
Patrae Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People

In this day and age, no...HOWEVER, we were raised not to act out like these kids supposedly did upon leaving home...meaning that most of our parents would not have to resort to doing something so drastic.

My nephews and neice know better than to show their @ss out in public with dear Uncle because they know I will give them a quick pop and they will get several more from Moms and Pops when they get home and thankfully so far, it's never had to come down to it.

In this case as stated earlier relating to the OP, giving them a spanking which they probably have earned would have warranted a visit from the PC police on child rearing.

But...ther reason WHY we are questioning YOUR usage of 'total failure' is, what are you basing it on? All you have is this one example that she just so happened to get caught on. Was she abusive to her kids? Did she not feed and clothe them? Do you know what happened in that home?

No.

Originally Posted by KSigkid

That's my whole thing - I mean, you can say she made a bad decision here, but saying she's a "total failure" as a parent is going too far. It screams "Ivory Tower."

I'm not sure if it matters whether those people are parents, though. Just because someone's a parent doesn't make them an expert on parenting. It just means they've been able to put their own parenting philosophy into practice.

Excellent point, paulam, please read this.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by paulam

Most of the responses questioning my use of "total failure" have been from males. Do you have children? Would you leave them alone on a commercial street?

Well, I didn't respond to your use of the phrase "total failure", but it definitely stood out to me as extreme. I'm a mom.

I walked to and from school every day when I was in middle school (I was 11 when I started 6th grade). My house was between 1.5 and 2 miles away from the school. I never felt like my parents were failing me.

Without knowing the area, I can't say for sure whether I would leave my 10 and 12 year old kids alone. But, it sounds like the area was safe, it was daylight, and they were within walking distance of home. Sounds acceptable to me. I have no reason, based on this one story alone, to accuse this poor woman of being a total failure as a parent.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Well, I didn't respond to your use of the phrase "total failure", but it definitely stood out to me as extreme. I'm a mom.

I walked to and from school every day when I was in middle school (I was 11 when I started 6th grade). My house was between 1.5 and 2 miles away from the school. I never felt like my parents were failing me.

Without knowing the area, I can't say for sure whether I would leave my 10 and 12 year old kids alone. But, it sounds like the area was safe, it was daylight, and they were within walking distance of home. Sounds acceptable to me. I have no reason, based on this one story alone, to accuse this poor woman of being a total failure as a parent.

Killing your kids a la Susan Smith is total failure.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Killing your kids a la Susan Smith is total failure.

Yes, Susan Smith is a good example of total parenting failure.

[nikki1920]

Originally Posted by paulam

What a great father and what a lucky little boy.

It only takes a moment for a predator to pick up a child out on the street. Why would anyone think this woman was a good mother for placing her children in that position? When she learned the 10 year old was missing, she seemed to realize something terrible could have happened to her child. If she were so wonderful, she would not have placed her daughter in danger. To me that is failing your child.

To me, that is teaching your child consequences. To say she is a total failure as a parent is being extreme, BASED ON THIS ONE INCIDENT. A predator can pick up a child at home, at school, anywhere. This, hopefully, was a one time incident. Mom got tired (imagine that!) of talking, kids knew she wouldn't follow through, Mom switched it up on them. I say it's creative parenting.

Tomayto, tomahto.

Yes, Susan Smith is a total failure.