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I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't get the point of posting all this about your sorority. It seems as if you're looking for people to agree with and validate your point of view, and they're not.
If you feel as though bring in a sorority jeopardizes your indviduality and you have all of those issues with how people are treating you, then you need to just terminate your membership and leave.
Simple as that. Being in a sorority is just not something that's for you.
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"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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