Nervous PNAM.

[Grad Girl 08]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Grad Girl 08

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

Welcome to GC. If you have an interest in pursuing NPC sorority membership at this level, I'm going to suggest that you read as much as you can on the topic of AI before posting.

"Why didn't you join in college?" is likely something you'll be asked at some point, so it's a valid question.

Also, in some NPCs, grad students are not eligible to be considered as Alumna Initiates.

[Grad Girl 08]

I know and thank you for the warm welcome. I know to expect a long process and I think I've narrowed it down to three. Two that are on my campus and one that isn't. Two of our four sisterhoods don't allow grad students and I completely understand that! I've meet girls from all the chapters and think we have some of the sweetest greek girls in the world on our campus! After meeting the girls I went the main websites and found out who allowed AI's and who didn't. After that I started researching other sisterhoods who allowed AI and found a third one that I liked their standards and what they stand for. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to go about I guess it would be called rushing? even though I'm not a undergrad. I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.

Originally Posted by Grad Girl 08

I know and thank you for the warm welcome. I know to expect a long process and I think I've narrowed it down to three. Two that are on my campus and one that isn't. Two of our four sisterhoods don't allow grad students and I completely understand that! I've meet girls from all the chapters and think we have some of the sweetest greek girls in the world on our campus! After meeting the girls I went the main websites and found out who allowed AI's and who didn't. After that I started researching other sisterhoods who allowed AI and found a third one that I liked their standards and what they stand for. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to go about I guess it would be called rushing? even though I'm not a undergrad. I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.

I have so many issues with this post, but I'll refrain from telling you what I really feel.

Oh, and there is no rushing in Alumnae Initiation.

[Grad Girl 08]

Originally Posted by OTW

I have so many issues with this post, but I'll refrain from telling you what I really feel.

Oh, and there is no rushing in Alumnae Initiation.

Have I offended you in some way? I'm sorry I didn't mean to. And thank you for the clarification, my apologies. But do feel free to express your opinion. It's important. You won't offend me. I know I’m unorthodox in my methods but I’ve never been one to go into anything blind. Most of the girls encouraged me. They think it’s important to be informed. I love the girls and whether I was to join or not they’ll still be my friends. But I’m sorry if you found something offensive in my methods.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by Grad Girl 08

Have I offended you in some way? I'm sorry I didn't mean to. And thank you for the clarification, my apologies. But do feel free to express your opinion. It's important. You won't offend me. I know I’m unorthodox in my methods but I’ve never been one to go into anything blind. Most of the girls encouraged me. They think it’s important to be informed. I love the girls and whether I was to join or not they’ll still be my friends. But I’m sorry if you found something offensive in my methods.

If you read threads on here about Alumnae Initiation, you should understand.

I'll be blunt. A lot of GCers are taken aback, and I might even say offended, by PNAMs who "sorority shop". Many of us feel that sorority membership is a privilege, not a right. The general reason for people not liking sorority shopping is that many of us (myself included), feel that an AI should have a personal connection to the sorority that they're seeking membership in. As opposed to looking to see what groups do AI and going from there.

The main membership source for NPC sororities is collegiate recruitment. That's the lifeblood. Many of us feel that AI should be used to honor people who have made a special commitment/relationship to the sorority.

I could probably go on for awhile, but if you read threads on here (look for ones from several years ago when it really got hotly debated) you'll get the idea.

I'll also ditto that becoming an AI is MUCH MUCH MUCH different that being in the group as a collegian. You are not a member of the collegiate chapter. You are not invited to their events (except for alumnae focused events). You do not do the things that the chapter does. At all. Again, your membership will have little to nothing to do with the collegiates.

You're also likely to run into these feelings from people in real life as well, so if you're going to go about this the way that you seem to want to, you should be prepared for that.

[KSUViolet06]

Some perspective on the issue:

Alumna Initiation is the EXCEPTION and not the rule when it comes to joining an NPC org. Pretty much everyone who joins one, does so in undergrad (like 99.9%). AI is for those women whom the organization feels have so much potential to contribute to the sorority (or in so many ways have already done so), that they should make an EXCEPTION to the normal mode of joining the sorority, and invite her to join at this stage in her life.

I think that being on GC kind of makes people think that being an AI is more common than in it is.

So it's considered offensive to some when people come here talking about "pursuing AI" because really, that's not how they feel it's supposed to be. Some people feel as though if a woman is a good candidate for such an honor, then the sorority should be reaching out to THEM. Not the other way around with women contacting the sorority and ASKING about it.

To be honest, there are alumnae chapters who will probably have similar feelings and be slightly creeped out about being contacted by a woman about AI because they've always viewed it as something that's a special honor, not something that someone pursues because they (for whatever reason) didn't join in college.

So to summarize:

*AI is not the solution for not having joined in college.

*It is not an alternative mode for joining a sorority because one didn't do so in college.

*It's a way for outstanding women to be asked to join as an EXCEPTION to the normal mode of membership (formal collegiate recruitment).

*It may be considered completely presumptuous of you to contact sororities about AI, because they may not feel it's appropriate for women to be seeking out such an exception.

[Grad Girl 08]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Point of information: If your friends in sororities are collegiate members, they will not be involved in any of your pursuits, because AI involves ALUMNA chapters/the national organization.

Some of them are. I do have friends who are Alum of sisterhoods but I don't talk to them about my intrest. I think that would be rude and put them on the spot and that's not fair to them.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Grad Girl 08

I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.[/FONT][/COLOR]

Every organization is different, but generally, AI involves alumna chapters only. Not collegians. Hence why it is beneficial to really read up and know what's going on.

Also, there's no "rushing" in AI.

Every sorority does things differently, there are some who would expect you to contact an alumna chapter on your own, while others don't want you to apprach them at all.

[Grad Girl 08]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Every organization is different, but generally, AI involves alumna chapters only. Not collegians. Hence why it is beneficial to really read up and know what's going on.

Also, there's no "rushing" in AI.

Every sorority does things differently, there are some who would expect you to contact an alumna chapter on your own, while others don't want you to apprach them at all.

Thank you so much for your input! It helps so much! I've been slow on reading up on it because I get confused about certain things and I'll try to keep reading up. Thank you for your help!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Grad Girl 08

I know and thank you for the warm welcome. I know to expect a long process and I think I've narrowed it down to three. Two that are on my campus and one that isn't. Two of our four sisterhoods don't allow grad students and I completely understand that! I've meet girls from all the chapters and think we have some of the sweetest greek girls in the world on our campus! After meeting the girls I went the main websites and found out who allowed AI's and who didn't. After that I started researching other sisterhoods who allowed AI and found a third one that I liked their standards and what they stand for. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to go about I guess it would be called rushing? even though I'm not a undergrad. I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.

Unless you met girls from the ALUMNAE chapters, it really doesn't matter how sweet they are. The collegians will not be the ones voting you in.

I'm enclosing the only thing that could make this thread not blow chunks.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Grad Girl 08

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

The life of an alumna is completely different to that of a collegian. I have a hard time believing you didn't have time as an undergraduate and now as a graduate student (who I hope has a life outside of school) you have time. Sorority membership for many was a sacrifice during the undergraduate years, and there are a bevy of women (and men) on this site who made it work time wise. I can think of women and men on my campus who worked and went to school, and since they wanted it bad enough made it work. Some of my sisters took five years for school, and managed their membership, an even in professional and graduate school show up for alumnae appropriate events.

There are plenty of other groups to get involved in, why an NPC sorority after graduation? To be blunt, the fact that you didn't try or make time as a student is a huge red flag to me, and for me, works against you.

[KSUViolet06]

Yeah alumna life is MUCH different than that of a collegiate member.

Something else to think about: whether you're looking for what you "missed out on in undergrad."

The events, expectations, and experiences of an alumna are not the same as a collegian, so be certain that this is the type of experience you're looking for.

For example, if you feel you missed out on living in a sorority house and going to mixers in undergrad, then NPC membership as an alumna may not be for you, just because that's not what alumnae do.

[icelandelf]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

The life of an alumna is completely different to that of a collegian. I have a hard time believing you didn't have time as an undergraduate and now as a graduate student (who I hope has a life outside of school) you have time. Sorority membership for many was a sacrifice during the undergraduate years, and there are a bevy of women (and men) on this site who made it work time wise. I can think of women and men on my campus who worked and went to school, and since they wanted it bad enough made it work. Some of my sisters took five years for school, and managed their membership, an even in professional and graduate school show up for alumnae appropriate events.

There are plenty of other groups to get involved in, why an NPC sorority after graduation? To be blunt, the fact that you didn't try or make time as a student is a huge red flag to me, and for me, works against you.

I so agree with the post above. I'll be blunt as well. If you went to school (Grad Girl 08) at A&M Commerce, then one of the sororities you're shopping is mine. My very humble opinion, FWIW, is that you didn't make time to pursue greek life while you were on campus. Many of my sisters were busy...beyond busy with studies in everything from performing arts majors to science majors and they still made time to be a part of our organization. I think you saying you had theatre hours 40 hrs/week and couldn't participate is a copout.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by icelandelf

I so agree with the post above. I'll be blunt as well. If you went to school (Grad Girl 08) at A&M Commerce, then one of the sororities you're shopping is mine. My very humble opinion, FWIW, is that you didn't make time to pursue greek life while you were on campus. Many of my sisters were busy...beyond busy with studies in everything from performing arts majors to science majors and they still made time to be a part of our organization. I think you saying you had theatre hours 40 hrs/week and couldn't participate is a copout.

I agree.

Like many of my own sisters, I was involved in many different organizations - in addition to full time course loads with difficult majors AND working 30-40 hours a week.

We all made it work. There is no reason anyone else couldn't.