Do Sororities Really Want You To Try Again?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by epchick

Wait, so you went through recruitment in the Fall, got a bid (that you didn't like) and then went through COB the following Spring?

Even though you declined your bid, you are NOT allowed to rush for a whole calendar year, so you were not eligible for a bid in the Spring (if you had just gone through rush in the Fall). So although we don't know why you weren't chosen for a bid, your ineligibility might have been a big factor.

That's what I was thinking!

There's really no way to know if you were released for a "reason" or if there just weren't compelling reasons to keep you at your chapters of choice (i.e. PNMs the chapters knew better, freshmen they liked better). Do sophomores regularly get bids at your school? There's no way to know if the women were just trying to be nice by encouraging you to try again or if they really meant it (and even then, no individual can guarantee you a bid because one person doesn't decide who gets bids).

I think some PNMs come off as desperate by their strange behavior (see the "Weird Rush Stories" and "Psycho/Stalker PNMs" threads) rather than the mere fact that they are coming through again.

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

There's no way to know if the women were just trying to be nice by encouraging you to try again or if they really meant it (and even then, no individual can guarantee you a bid because one person doesn't decide who gets bids).

Thats what I was thinking. The vast majority of sorority women that I know are polite classy women, and they generally don't want to hurt PNM's feelings, even though they may not want her as a member. Just as during rush you want to make sure that each PNM left your house feeling as if the sisters were welcoming and kind to them, we wish to do so in real life.

The same may go for this situation. These women may not see you in their chapter, but they may not feel comfortable being brutally honest enough with you to tell you not to rush again. Or they may not know you well enough to be that honest. And though a sorority women may encourage someone to go through rush, they may do so because they wish that people experience the greek system as a whole, not because they see you in their particular chapter. I know that I have personally encouraged girls to go through rush or to try again even though I know I did not see them fitting into my chapter, but because I knew they could still find a home in the greek system. And in most cases, the women I have encouraged to go through did find a home and are very happy, though they may not have joined my chapter. Sorority women in general are well aware that people can find amazing homes outside of their own chapter, and I think perhaps PNMs could...and should...take this into account during any form of recruitment.

I apologize for writing a novel, but so often do I see the OP's situation on GC. I think we all need to take into account that, unless a active promises are bid (which she shouldn't be doing...but thats another topic), encouragement that any sorority member gives for rushing in general does not necessarily mean that she sees the PNM in her chapter.