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GammaDelt · #1 02-09-2009, 04:33 PM

Yes and no. I do feel like she may not fit into the sorority because we are all very extroverted, but I also feel like she is reaching out to us, and I want us to be the ones to make her feel welcome. And yes, I am afraid that not giving her a bid will make her think it's because of her weight.

KSUViolet06 · #2 02-09-2009, 04:35 PM

Consider this: Let me ask you this, would you rather give her a bid just to spare her feelings and have NO ONE talk to her because they don't have anything in common with her?

KSUViolet06 · #3 02-09-2009, 04:36 PM

I think it would be a good idea to TALK to your sisters and see what it is about this woman that they SPECIFICALLY do not like.

Not just "oh I get bad vibes." Like, specifics.

It's just really good to get that all out there.

ASTalumna06 · #4 02-09-2009, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GammaDelt

Yes and no. I do feel like she may not fit into the sorority because we are all very extroverted, but I also feel like she is reaching out to us, and I want us to be the ones to make her feel welcome. And yes, I am afraid that not giving her a bid will make her think it's because of her weight.

I ran into a similar problem recently with my chapter (not that they had an issue concerning someone’s physical appearance, but because of other reasons). Some sisters would say, “But she’s so nice and it’s not like ASTs to exclude someone when they’re as nice as this girl is.” Sometimes, though, you have to remember that you’re trying to choose the best members for your sorority, and you’re bringing people in who, ideally, will be friends with most of your members. If there are sisters that aren’t comfortable with extending a bid to this PNM, then you have to accept that. PNMs have their feelings hurt all the time. Some of them think, “Did I screw up that conversation?” or, “Did I wear the wrong shirt?” or, “Did I offend that member when I didn’t take the food she offered me?” or, “What if I weigh too much?” It’s not your job or responsibility to analyze and be sensitive to every possible feeling of every potential member. If it was, you’d be a therapist and not a collegiate sorority member.