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I'm the president of a local sorority, and we don't have recognized Greek life on our campus. For rush, we have several events, and then we invite girls back to invitational, and then we hand out bids. This year it looks like everyone is a great fit, except for one. The sisters say they feel uncomfortable around her, but I would feel uncomfortable not giving her a bid, especially because she is overweight. I feel like not many of the sisters have talked to her much - most of them are saying they just get bad vibes. I'm unsure what to do in this situation. Although she is very quiet, I think she would be more open with us after we've spent more time getting to know her. Any outside insight?

Yes and no. I do feel like she may not fit into the sorority because we are all very extroverted, but I also feel like she is reaching out to us, and I want us to be the ones to make her feel welcome. And yes, I am afraid that not giving her a bid will make her think it's because of her weight.

If possible, ask your sisters to explain what they mean by "bad vibes". Is it because she picks her teeth with a switch blade? Or perhaps that there has been little communication between the sisters and her.

ETA: I guess I am a slow typist cause I didn't see your reply KSUViolet06 when I started.

Wow...it will be hard for any of us to advise you on how to accept members to your own organization. Do you usually let the president override the desires of the rest of the chapter? If you personally think that your sisters should give this girl another shot, maybe set up some smaller one on one activities with this girl. I would, however, not just give this girl a bid out of pity. You don't want her to feel like she isn't wanted around since technically she isn't! If you feel strongly, make an effort to get your sisters to look again, but don't force her on them!

Exactly. I've seen this create tension with some chapters. All you can do is try to get your sisters to spend some time with her. But if they do, and they're set in their ways, don't push them. And remember, if this girl doesn't become a member of your sorority, it doesn't mean that you can't still be friends with her.

To be blunt...fat people can be assholes too. Don't assume that the "bad vibes" have a thing to do with her weight...especially if this hasn't been a factor in giving bids in the past.

I agree w/ AOIIAngel, try to get to know her a little better rather than forcing her on the chapter or confronting members about why they don't like her. Sometimes there IS just something you can't put your finger on.

Since you are a local, do you have any leeway in giving out bids? Is it possible to let her know that not enough sisters felt like they got to know her through recruitment but you'd like to invite her to some more future events?

This bears repeating. If this is acceptable within your chapter I suggest you think long and hard about the implications of your decision. Fair or not, your sisters feel strongly this PNM would not fit in your organization. If you over rule them because you believe their reasons are frivolous or discriminatory or whatever, then there will be fallout that extends beyond this PNM and recruitment. You would basically be saying that your sisters' opinions do not matter, only your's counts.