Elderly man freezes to death in home

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I think that most people still see it as their responsibility to care for their parents. However, it is much more common to live further away from your family as well. "Back in the day" people didn't move far away from their home towns so they had frequent contact. Now, a lot of retired parents move out of state and children don't usually stay in the area where they grew up because of lack of opportunities. My dad moved to Florida and my brother moved to Alabama and I am stranded here in the frozen wasteland of Michigan while they enjoy their mild winters in the South. Oops, didn't mean to vent my resentment here But yeah, they abandoned me for the mild winters and year round golfing <sigh>

I do think, in general, that we do not honor and respect our elderly as they do in many cultures. We see getting old as a bad thing and don't listen to the wisdom of the elderly, forgetting that they've already lived through everything that we're trying to cope with in our own lives. However, every single person I know tries their hardest to care for their parents. I know that when I was caring for my mom in her last months with us, I did have the thought that I was role modeling for my own kids how to treat *their* mother! That's all a moot point with this guy because he didn't have any immediate family left. It definitely is an argument for having kids!

There is an old saying "Be nice to your children. They are the ones who will be picking out your nursing home."

I don't know what society's responsibility is in a case like this. It seems like, in January in Michigan, the electric company could wait a few months before shutting off the electricity OR get the person set up with assistance. It would be to their benefit to get them set up with assistance because then they would get the bill paid. It's even possible that the poor guy didn't have the cognition to pay his bills or something. Meaning, he may have had the money but didn't remember that he didn't pay, didn't have stamps.. who knows?

Speaking for the entire south, we'd love to have you too. We have health care industries and Alpha Gamma Delta chapters. Just saying.

It seems like we can all say we have a responsibility in these cases. It's just hard to figure out how to deliver the services people need or even figuring out what they need if they feel that they don't want to ask or don't know who to ask.

As far as my own family, there's been a history of caring for people and assisting them in their homes until they eventually basically got sick enough to go in the hospital and not come out. But as you said, all these cases were in the same town.

Maybe I was being too hard on people earlier. Maybe it's just the times I've heard of people wanting to put their parents in a medicaid supported home, it made such an impression.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

Speaking for the entire south, we'd love to have you too. We have health care industries and Alpha Gamma Delta chapters. Just saying.

It seems like we can all say we have a responsibility in these cases. It's just hard to figure out how to deliver the services people need or even figuring out what they need if they feel that they don't want to ask or don't know who to ask.

As far as my own family, there's been a history of caring for people and assisting them in their homes until they eventually basically got sick enough to go in the hospital and not come out. But as you said, all these cases were in the same town.

Maybe I was being too hard on people earlier. Maybe it's just the times I've heard of people wanting to put their parents in a medicaid supported home, it made such an impression.

There's that.. and the fact that I'm hopelessly in love with a man with lives in Smyrna and have been since 2000. I'm just hoping he's still single in 5 years when my youngest goes away to college

My mom was really adamant that she would not live with me under any circumstances. She was also at a point that she couldn't have been maintained medically at home. She needed more nursing care than could be provided reasonably. Her big fear was that my kids would find her when she passed and she didn't want them to go through that. She passed before we had to make a final decision. The nursing home we had picked out though was 1/4 mile from my house so I intended to be there every day and the kids were planning on walking over there after school to see grandma sometimes too. I think some of what we're seeing is simply because people are living longer and longer. Women are working outside the home so even if they moved their parent into their home, they wouldn't be supervised. Alzheimer's patients get to a point where they cannot be maintained in a family home because they can wander off while the family is sleeping, etc. I don't think we can judge people for those kinds of decisions. I DO think it's horrendous to put someone there and never go to see them.

In the case of this guy, there wasn't even anybody to move him into a safer environment. It truly is sad.