sex... i need advice asap!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by cincy

Last night I gave in to my feelings and said it is very possible that it will happen soon.

And when you did that "Chris" did this----------------->
Once you give "Chris" the nookie he might do this----->




It's time for me to go to bed because I'm over dying LMAO!!!!

[christiangirl]

^^^PB go to time out.

Originally Posted by cincy

and i really dont like your ass.

Seeing as how her ass isn't talking to you, I'm sure she's not offended. Take a shot at her face, maybe that'll do the trick.

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I'm sure there's a facebook group or a message board for virgins in their 20s who can talk about waiting for true love (or is it true love waits?)

There are. I'm a member of a couple TLW groups, though a good portion of the people there are already married and just there to tell about how worth it the decision is when you get to the other side (and to show off their well-deserved white wedding dresses).

Honestly, being a virgin is hard work. If you've ever fasted for a day, you've had just a taste of what your body feels like when something designed for survival is being withheld--just like in cartoons where everything the starving bear sees turns into a steaming steak. What do you think happens when you're not getting any for 20+ years? Every semi-decent looking guy you pass turns into a half-naked sex god and it's all you can do not to throw him on a table and go for it. We (virgins trying to wait) have all had this moment where we try to back out of the commitment we made to ourselves and get others to "okay" it--wanting to finally have sex is common and natural. However, even though it's not EASY to resist, it is very SIMPLE--either you want to abstain or you don't. Either you want to wait till marriage or you don't. Either your perceived pureness in the eyes of God (if this is what you hope to obtain by waiting) is more important than physical wants or it's not. (I say "perceived" because holding a v-card doesn't make us any more pure than anyone else nor does it negate the fact that we've screwed up in pretty much every other venue of life anyway.) A person doesn't ask other people's advice on something so personal unless they're merely looking for someone to pat them on the back and give them permission to change their mind and not feel guilty for doing it. So if the opinions of others doesn't matter (and they don't), say "Thanks, but I can make up my own mind" and leave the thread(s) alone. Like I said in my PM, I hope you make the right choice because I don't want you to regret anything.

[Phrozen1ne]

Now that you have gotten all this "great" advice, you should give your "good" guy a "special" treat.

[KSigkid]

I said this in the Dating and Relationships thread, but for some reason when I read the thread title, it sounded like the guy was waiting on her bed, while she was poised over the computer, waiting for the "all clear" from GC so that she could jump him.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Honestly, being a virgin is hard work. If you've ever fasted for a day, you've had just a taste of what your body feels like when something designed for survival is being withheld--just like in cartoons where everything the starving bear sees turns into a steaming steak. What do you think happens when you're not getting any for 20+ years? Every semi-decent looking guy you pass turns into a half-naked sex god and it's all you can do not to throw him on a table and go for it. We (virgins trying to wait) have all had this moment where we try to back out of the commitment we made to ourselves and get others to "okay" it--wanting to finally have sex is common and natural.

Have you tried masturbation?

I have never been that tempted, if so I would've lost my virginity a loooong time ago.

[christiangirl]

^^^A scootch on the personal side, friend.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

^^^A scootch on the personal side, friend.

LOL, CG! And co-sign on your previous post. My general rule for all major personal decisions is this: If I believe I'll regret the action I don't do it.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

And when you did that "Chris" did this----------------->
Once you give "Chris" the nookie he might do this----->

LOL at PB, but he's right! Hell he was probably jumping for joy since he has just been made aware that he wont have to put in any more time and effort to get it in than what he's already done. Its like realizing "oh you're gonna pay me my entire salary [that you can never get back and will probably find that you really want to spend on someone better] for the work I did before you hired me? Hellz yea."

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

^^^A scootch on the personal side, friend.

CG, I'm not saying you do, but I wouldn't take any advice on playing with yourself. That, to me isn't cool. To me, when a joker plays with himself/herself, that's like an implosion of sexual pleasure that focuses a joker further and further into himself/herself. To me, that genuine need for interpersonal intimacy can't be met by self seeking sexual activity. The way I see it, it would be like quenching your thirst with salt water. A sip can satisfy for the moment, but the eventual results aren't good. If a joker masturbates to fix his/her feelings of insecurity and isolation, then to me it would seem like the masturbation would just add to his/her loneliness because he/she isn't receiving true intimacy when he/she does that mess. It's not even a real sexual encounter. I'm sure it probably feels sexual (based on what jokers have told me) but I would think it would actually leave a joker feeling more alone and to me, ashamed, and this is the opposite of what a real sexual encounter (with one person, the same person you're committed to of the "opposite sex" in a monogomous relationship) is supposed to do.

I wouldn't take advice on masturbating, get yourself a nice young man who is pleased, when he knows you are pleased. He is to serve "YOU" in all things....always.

ETA: then you can sing this with great pleasure, loud and clear!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fSY_S45rZ4

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

LOL at PB, but he's right! Hell he was probably jumping for joy since he has just been made aware that he wont have to put in any more time and effort to get it in than what he's already done. Its like realizing "oh you're gonna pay me my entire salary [that you can never get back and will probably find that you really want to spend on someone better] for the work I did before you hired me? Hellz yea."

cincy thinks she's experiencing some kind of intimacy with this joker, but she's not. I mentioned this to her in another thread. I told her that a lot of jokers mistake intimacy with intensity. I told her that intimacy has nothing to do with sex. It's when the relationship grows the longer the couple knows one another. What she's experiencing is intensity. All that is, is when everything is lovely until the newness wears off, then all hell breaks loose. When the newness wears off, the sex part eventually goes with it. She's still posting the same thing, so I guess she didn't take my advice.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by cincy

Recently, the past two weeks we have been talking sexual things. He knows I am a virgin (thats right the only 19, almost 20 year old virgin left on the planet). I plan[ned] to wait until marriage but I don't thing that's going to happen. Last night I gave in to my feelings and said it is very possible that it will happen soon. I won't say what else we spoke about
but this one feels right.

"but this one feels right"... You made me think of Goldilocks and the three bears.

I don't think we really need to know what else you two talked about, I mean it's SO obvious. So, skip the dry humping and just do it already.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrw570t73Mg

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

...are you Scottish by chance?

I am laughing so hard at this one...

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

are ye sure?

and this one....

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Oh...ummm ok lassie.

and this one....

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

What about a specific loser?

and this one....

Originally Posted by KSigkid

I said this in the Dating and Relationships thread, but for some reason when I read the thread title, it sounded like the guy was waiting on her bed, while she was poised over the computer, waiting for the "all clear" from GC so that she could jump him.

and this one made the tears start streaming down lol lol lol...

[nikki1920]

I just think its weird that someone is coming on to GC for advice on a matter as personal as this. And I agree with PB that intimacy and intensity are often confused. Intimate moments usually happen while clothes are still on, IME(xperience).

and LOL @ ksigkid. :rofl:

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by cincy

So there is this guy (we will call him Chris) I have known since 7th grade, I am now a sophomore in college. We have always been friends and nothing more, until this past October when we went to this party with some friends and after that night things went from friends to more than friends. We have so many things in common and things will be made official (boyfriend-girlfriend not marriage) sometime closer to Christmas (I heard from one of his friends)

Recently, the past two weeks we have been talking sexual things. He knows I am a virgin (thats right the only 19, almost 20 year old virgin left on the planet). I plan[ned] to wait until marriage but I don't thing that's going to happen. Last night I gave in to my feelings and said it is very possible that it will happen soon. I won't say what else we spoke about

My question is, how do I know if this is the right thing to do? He is a lot different that other guys I have messed with and i hae never felt this way about anybody else. I am simply tired of waiting to get some, i have passes up I don't know how many guys, but this one feels right.

Any advice?

P.S- I promise you he is a good guy. I wouldn't give up my virginity to some random loser.

I know that it's already been said that "Chris" could be wanting the milk without buying the cow, but am I the only one who thinks this is DEFINITELY the case?

This kid has been friends with you for 6 years, and you've never gone out or even talked about it? Sounds to me that if he really wanted to be with you, you would have been in a relationship a long time ago.

And then suddenly, his FRIEND tells you that he's going to ask you out closer to Christmas (I feel like we're back in the 2nd grade), which is right around the time when you and Chris start talking about having sex? Sounds sketchy to me.

As you get older, if a guy likes you and truly wants to be with you, then he'll ask you out. Simple as that. And if he's one of those guys who's supposedly "too shy to ask", then he'd also be too shy to talk with you about all things sexual.

This guy might be a "good guy" and not some "random loser", but a lot of guys appear that way at first.

I just don't know how you can feel so strongly for someone that hasn't even asked you out, and has convinced you that having sex with him is a good idea, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship.

But hey, if you want to break your long streak of abstinence for that, be my guest.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I know that it's already been said that "Chris" could be wanting the milk without buying the cow, but am I the only one who thinks this is DEFINITELY the case?

Wow.

I am amazed as to how much some of you folks can glean from a couple of posts on the internet from a person you don't know and about a person you don't know. Truly amazing.

The insight on GC is worth every penny, isn't it?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Wow.

I am amazed as to how much some of you folks can glean from a couple of posts on the internet from a person you don't know and about a person you don't know. Truly amazing.

The insight on GC is worth every penny, isn't it?

Well, I could be crazy but... from my experience, if a guy actually wants a meaningful relationship, he ASKS A GIRL OUT. He doesn't simply talk to her about sex, and mess around with her a bit (which is what I'm getting from her story), eventually leading her to say, "Yea, it'll probably happen soon," ... and then still not ask her out.

That doesn't seem the least bit sketchy to you?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

That doesn't seem the least bit sketchy to you?

I will give you the only possibly remotely correct answer given the amount of information any of us has regarding this situation:

"I don't know."

None of us knows the context of the previous relationship, the reputation of the individual(s) involved, or whether any of these people are real.