
11-06-2008, 12:03 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,291
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
lol go ahead and start. I have a feeling you're going to type something that's going to make me laugh really hard.
I'll start. When I was in highschool back in Mn. I had this teacher who said Ponderosa goes right through him, like about 15 minutes after eating it. 
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Remember when you were a kid, in elementary school, and you saw the menu for your cafeteria? You thought, “Yes! It’s pizza and tater tots day!” You’d be all excited and amped up. All of the other kids would be thrilled, too. It’d be on your mind ALL morning, as you were bored as hell in class, and starving because you didn’t eat enough breakfast.
Finally it’s lunchtime. You grab your money and head to the café.
Immediately when you walk in, you realize that the room has a funny smell. It usually does, but on this particular day, it’s slightly different. You ignore it and run, attempting to be as close to the front of the line as possible. You grab your tray and wait patiently while the kids who ran just a little bit faster get their food.
The kid in front of you is picking his nose and eating it, and you’re pretty sure he hasn’t combed his hair in a week. He gets his tater tots, and after scratching his head and shoving his finger 5 inches up his nose, he picks up a tot and eats it.
The girl behind you keeps talking to you about something that you care nothing about. She bumps into you repeatedly. You’re not sure if she’s doing it on purpose because she likes you, or if she’s simply clueless and annoying as hell. Either way, you don’t care. You feel like punching her in the face.
At last, it’s your turn. You see the pizza. You see the tots. They’re within arm’s reach, but they’re behind glass. But through that dirty glass, you can see that the food really isn’t living up to your expectations. The tots are falling apart, and the pizza looks like something out of a slasher movie with the inordinate amount of sauce that’s on it. You think, “Hey, looks can be deceiving… it’s pizza and taters!” All you have to do is wait for some nice lady to scoop up the tots in that big metal spoon, drop them onto a plate, and hand them to you. It’s happening. They’re falling. She’s handing you the plate… and then you look up and realize that the woman who just handed them to you is quite possibly the nastiest person you’ve ever seen. She’s the ogre of the lunchroom and she just handed you your food. You start to second guess the quality of what’s been put on your plate. You’re pretty sure you either won’t eat, or you’ll eat and possibly die. Decisions, decisions.
That’s Ponderosa. You get excited to go out to eat. You arrive and see pictures and descriptions of what appears to be delicious food. There’s a weird smell, but you choose to ignore it. You get to the food and realize that to classify it as such should be considered a crime. Someone reaches around you to refill one of the silver trays. You glance at them for only a moment, but it leaves enough of an impression for you to know that if you looked like that, you’d probably kill yourself. You look to your right, you look to your left, and you become aware of the fact that you’re the only person in there who hasn’t a.) skipped a shower that morning, b.) married their cousin, or c.) been on Ricki Lake or Jerry Springer at some point in your life. You debate as to whether or not you should eat the food. You do. And you hate yourself for the next three days. Or at least until you can wash that disgusting smell out of your clothes.
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