Not getting along with a sister- help!!

[ASTalumna06]

Kill 'em with kindness, I always say.

If you're nice to her (say hi when you pass, invite her places, etc.), but she's really determined to hate you, she'll get even more pissed off at you simply because you're "oblivious" to the fact that she doesn't like you. But she won't say anything because she's not going to flip out on you for being friendly. And if she talks to other sisters about you, what could she possibly say that's bad?

If you walk by her, give her a friendly hello. If she comes over to your group of friends and ignores you, make it a point to ask her a question or try to talk to her. If you show her it doesn't bother you, then there's a good chance it'll start to bother her more (if she's dead-set on making you miserable and shutting you out).

And if that's the case, you can't feel bad for her. That's just how she is, and there's nothing you can do about it.

[crissy1]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Kill 'em with kindness, I always say.

If you're nice to her (say hi when you pass, invite her places, etc.), but she's really determined to hate you, she'll get even more pissed off at you simply because you're "oblivious" to the fact that she doesn't like you. But she won't say anything because she's not going to flip out on you for being friendly. And if she talks to other sisters about you, what could she possibly say that's bad?

If you walk by her, give her a friendly hello. If she comes over to your group of friends and ignores you, make it a point to ask her a question or try to talk to her. If you show her it doesn't bother you, then there's a good chance it'll start to bother her more (if she's dead-set on making you miserable and shutting you out).

And if that's the case, you can't feel bad for her. That's just how she is, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I actually DID try this, and got accused of being "fake". I think at this point ignoring her other than to be polite when neccessary will be fine. It's my last year, and I'm not going to let it be ruined by some girl who's pissed about my little. Because I freaking LOVE her. I really appreciate everyone's advice, and I'm glad to see that it's not something that's happening only to my chapter.

[adpiucf]

Don't ignore it. Confront it. You will feel a thousand times better.

I'd call her out on it. Before/After the next chapter meeting, pull her to the side and tell her you feel like you've been getting the cold shoulder from her, that you are sorry if you hurt her feelings in any way and want to clear the air. Talk it out like adults. If she can't be adult about it and blows you off, then she's not your friend and you shouldn't be sad she's not inviting you to outings she is planning. Don't waste time on people who are petty and who don't want to be your friend.

I have been in these situations before with friends. Honestly, this tactic helps. Women don't expect other women to be confrontational. They expect other women to take this passive aggressive form of bullying. Don't sit there and take it. I have never once regretted being the bigger person and bringing up the problem to the source. It has either resolved what was just a simple misunderstanding or it got that person to leave me the heck alone. All without yelling, cursing, or backstabbing. You don't have to be a super aggressive or talkative person to take this tactic. Every person, shy or not shy, can benefit from stepping up to the plate in this way.

Talk to her and get on with your life. Don't kill her with kindness. Just ask her what's up. It will be a little scary at first. You'll feel the adrenaline rush, and some nervousness, but you'll also feel incredibly empowered once it is through.