Disappointed mom

[ellebud]

The OP is not a troll. I have an acquaintance who's daughter just finished rushing at a fairly noncompetitive western campus. The daughter decided to rush at the last minute so she didn't have any recs nor did she have the "right" clothes. (For Pref she wore a dress that her much older mother had picked out for a "good" occasion...it had a huge bow in the back and the girl isn't skinny.)

The pnm is now a pledge at a house (Yeah for her!). MY acquaintance was hysterical because her daughter was with "nerds". Equally, if not more upsetting for the mother was the fact that one of her daughter's ex best friends got into the "best" house. (The fact that in the dictionary under "nerd" is the mom's high school picture is beside the point.) I tried talking to the mom...but she is simply too upset.

The girl's reaction? "Mom, some of us may have pimples, some of us need to lose weight...but we're nice girls. And I am happy."

And, if anyone doubts the school/sorority story, pm me and if you really need to know, I'll tell you the school and the house.

[CougarGrad]

Originally Posted by ellebud

The girl's reaction? "Mom, some of us may have pimples, some of us need to lose weight...but we're nice girls. And I am happy."

Bravo for her! If she feels good where she is, that's what matters.

[violetpretty]

I understand that there is intense pressure in the South to be in the "right" group, but I can't Sure, the OP could very well be a troll (she's even received PMs from people who agree with her!), but even if she is, there probably are mothers and daughters who have been in the same situation.

Actually, I take that "probably" back. I have heard of a specific situation like this. Daughter goes through recruitment, only has one chapter at pref (bottom, struggling chapter), and ranks it because she likes it. Daughter gets a bid. Mother goes nuts, gets angry at the members of the chapter and Panhellenic for "tricking" her daughter into joining such an inferior group. In fact, the mother gets so angry that she threatens to stop paying for her daughter's tuition if she does not depledge the group. So, the daughter does depledge and joins a "top" group the following year via in-house legacy status. Apparently she dove right in during her new member period and became very active, but I wonder if she actually fit in there.

Ignoring the un-panhellenic-ness or even the sorority context of the situation, the most disgusting aspect of the OP's post is that she can't be happy when her daughter is happy. That she would ask her daughter to give up her happiness to appease her mother who is dependent on others for self-gratification. The OP basically has said that she thinks that the others in her life are more important than her daughter. It's a totally different situation than a mom being upset alongside her daughter because she did not get the chapter she wanted.

Mom, I have news for you. Membership in any NPC sorority provides opportunities for personal growth and great memories, no matter the tier or the social climate. Membership is what you make of it.