Quote:
Originally Posted by CALiMom
I have a question about how bidding really works. My daughter is at a VERY competitive school and she was a legacy to Sorority A.
All through rush, she was invited back to her favorite houses, the maximum number possible, every day. After pref night she called and said that she would be happy at either Sorority A or Sorority B but that she had put Sorority B first on her card. Although I am a member of Sorority A, I encouraged her to follow her heart... no pressure from me... but of course I was a little disappointed...
Then, to her shock, she got a bid from Sorority A. Unfortunately ALL of her friends went to Sorority B so she was extremely hurt and disappointed and unhappy with being at Sorority A (I'm not saying this was a reasonable reaction... just that it happened.) She actually considered withdrawing from her pledge class and waiting until next year to rush again so that she could be Sorority B with her friends. I STRONGLY discouraged this. But SEVERAL older girls from Sorority B told her that they all had wanted her and if she had "suicided" Sorority B, she would have been Sorority B, instead of Sorority A... that she was IN Sorority A because she was a legacy and so was at the top of their list. Could that be true? Could that have really happened? or are they just trying to make excuses for having put her at the bottom of their list?  |
I don't think that's MS territory. It's bid matching territory.
I'll assume that your sorority (A) has a policy that if a legacy is carried to preference, she must be on the first bid list.
Bid matching ALWAYS serves to give a PNM her first choice chapter unless her first choice chapter makes quota before reaching her name on their list, no matter how high a PNM is on her second or third choices' lists. Sorority B made quota before they reached your daughter's name. She was not high enough to get a bid. If she suicided Sorority B, she would have gone bidless.
Most likely the members of sorority B made the comments they did because they don't understand bid matching. There is no way of knowing where your daughter was. She could have been the next one or she could have been right at the bottom. Also, it is highly likely that the members of Sorority B did not see the bid list and do not know exactly where she was on the list. I doubt they were "making excuses" because if a PNM is on the bid list, the chapter likes her enough for her to be a member. They were probably saying those things to make her feel better. They probably legitimately did like her. However, no single person has control over membership selection. They can't promise your daughter that she would get a bid there next year.
Unless she totally hates Sorority A, it would be dumb to depledge to try her luck with Sorority B next year, IMO. She can still be friends with people in other chapters.
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