The importance of conversation/personality during recruitment

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

ETA: I think also part of the reason that conversation doesn't get mentioned as much is because it's subjective and harder to give concrete suggestions for conversation.

Oh, I totally agree. It's just that I think to some PNMs or moms or whatever, when they read the advice we give they start to get the idea that a 4.0, varsity sport, 200 hours of community service and three recs will put their daughter at the top of every sororities bidlist. Realistically, she's probably high on their radar with stats like that, but if she comes off as snotty, painfully shy or resistant to answering questions it tends to negate all the incredible accomplishments she does have. Also, since those are the stats that put her in the college she is in, most other women likely have similar stats and maybe they have better personalities.

It is harder to give concrete conversation advice, but I think that PNMs do need to know this is a major criteria for many chapters and to get out there and practice meeting new people or run through "practice conversation" with sorority women/alumnae (obviously not from her school as that could be dirty rushing!) and get some honest feedback.

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

It's just that I think to some PNMs or moms or whatever, when they read the advice we give they start to get the idea that a 4.0, varsity sport, 200 hours of community service and three recs will put their daughter at the top of every sororities bidlist.

The PNM needs to be able to communicate this to the chapter when going through recruitment. Most schools are not going to supply a resume for the PNM so if she does not let the chapter know about her community service, sports, organizations, etc., there is no way for the chapter to know about their importance and her contribution.

[NutBrnHair]

2 words.... ACTIVE LISTENING

Don't go into a party with a list of canned questions. Just enter into a conversation naturally and LISTEN to what the other person is saying. Base your next question (or comment) on something she said.

Example:
"What did you do with your time off this summer?"

"Oh, not much -- just worked and went to see my grandparents."

Next question...ask about work or where her grandparents live, etc.

Active listening is the key.

[KSUViolet06]

I agree with what's being said here.

In recruitment, most girls will have good grades, recs (if needed) and lots of involvement. Those are the standard things that get your foot in the door. It takes more than that to get a bid. You can have all of those things, but if you have the personality and converation skills of a wet mop, you aren't going to get far in recruitment.

It's like applying for a job at a top company. Everyone will have a great resume, a cover letter, and an MBA. Those are standard. The one who gets the job will be the one who presents himself the best in the interview.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

2 words.... ACTIVE LISTENING

Don't go into a party with a list of canned questions. Just enter into a conversation naturally and LISTEN to what the other person is saying. Base your next question (or comment) on something she said.

Example:
"What did you do with your time off this summer?"

"Oh, not much -- just worked and went to see my grandparents."

Next question...ask about work or where her grandparents live, etc.

Active listening is the key.

Can I just say this is great advice even for guys pursuing NPHC fraternities.

[KSUViolet06]

Also, answering things with "yes" or "no" does not help you during recruitment.

For example, if a sorority member asks "Did you go anywhere this summer?" and you didn't, don't just say "No."

When you answer with one word, that creates awkward silence.

Try to turn it into a positive by mentioning what you did in your hometown over the summer. You could say "No I stayed in my hometown, but I did work at our local homeless shelter while I was there."