The importance of conversation/personality during recruitment

[MsSophisticated]

I know I'm a newbie, but I had a question that related to conversation. Is there a such thing as being too honest?

Let's say someone has a past, but has changed and has a clean record since entering college. Should they disclose that information if asked?

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by MsSophisticated

I know I'm a newbie, but I had a question that related to conversation. Is there a such thing as being too honest?

Yes.

Let's say someone has a past, but has changed and has a clean record since entering college. Should they disclose that information if asked?

Hard to say. Really depends on what the past includes.

[MsSophisticated]

Thank you for the feedback. The past isn't anything that would show up on a court record. Just a child doing things they shouldn't be doing in order to keep her family together. In short I was raised with 6 boys, the sold drugs I set deals and hustled to keep money up. At the same time I was very involved with the community, giving back when I could and what not. Guess I was a good kid and bad kid at the same time, but I'm not sure if an organization would overlook the bad and focus on the good. Even if I've been legit for 4 years now.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by MsSophisticated

Thank you for the feedback. The past isn't anything that would show up on a court record. Just a child doing things they shouldn't be doing in order to keep her family together. In short I was raised with 6 boys, the sold drugs I set deals and hustled to keep money up. At the same time I was very involved with the community, giving back when I could and what not. Guess I was a good kid and bad kid at the same time, but I'm not sure if an organization would overlook the bad and focus on the good. Even if I've been legit for 4 years now.

I really don't know the answer to your question. The most important thing is turning your life around.

I don't have any good advice except to expect both understanding and disappointment from people when/if they find out. You can't really control how others will react. It's your choice whether or not to tell people. We don't know how serious it was, your likelihood to return to that environment, if you're still surrounding yourself with poor influences, what the people you would be telling are like, the organization's policies, etc.

Good luck.

[33girl]

It also really depends on the type of school you're rushing at and the backgrounds of the students.

[KSUViolet06]

Bump.

[KSUViolet06]

Upping since we've kicked off recruitment season.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping because you can do everything right as a PNM in terms of grades and such, but will have a hard time if you are unable to hold a conversation.

[KSUViolet06]

Carnation, I think this is sticky-worthy. As if we have room for anything else to stick! But really, I think that girls get so locked in on "omgrecsclotheshairjewelry" that they forget that they actually need to TALK to these women in order to get an invite.
Then they don't get one, then it's all "but I have recs to everyone and a 4.0!" But they fail to consider that their conversation skills/personality just didn't make them memorable.

With bigger recruitments, if you don't have personal connections with sisters, you NEED to have conversation skills to go with your recs/awesome outfits, ladies!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

2 words.... ACTIVE LISTENING

Don't go into a party with a list of canned questions. Just enter into a conversation naturally and LISTEN to what the other person is saying. Base your next question (or comment) on something she said.

Example:
"What did you do with your time off this summer?"

"Oh, not much -- just worked and went to see my grandparents."

Next question...ask about work or where her grandparents live, etc.

Active listening is the key.

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Can I just say this is great advice even for guys pursuing NPHC fraternities.

Originally Posted by honeychile

Not about conversation, but Dale Carnegie advises that you wear your nametag on your right side. The reasoning is that you extend your right hand to shake hands, and it's easier to see that way.

These are also awesome tidbits. I do workshops on active listening with my students and I think it's so important for a generation of me-me-me millenials. Are cell phones prohibited from rush parties? I know some freak OUT without their phones glued to their hands or in their pockets. They legit cannot function, let alone converse without needing to Instagram whatever is nearby.

The nametag bit I learned working in HR/recruitment, and carried over to recruiting in greek life. Nametag on the right and hold any items given to you in your left, so your right hand is always free to shake hands. A woman came to my office and extended her left hand and it completely disoriented me. Do people really not know that it matters?

Lastly, YES to this info being just as important for NPHC. As members, we're actively listening and archiving in our brains how we may consider you not only as a potential member but as our sister/brother. (Not that NPC members aren't doing so during rush, just saying since NPHC interactions with potential members are more spread apart)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by tld221

These are also awesome tidbits. I do workshops on active listening with my students and I think it's so important for a generation of me-me-me millenials. Are cell phones prohibited from rush parties? I know some freak OUT without their phones glued to their hands or in their pockets. They legit cannot function, let alone converse without needing to Instagram whatever is nearby.

Cell phones are not permitted at my alma mater or at any other recruitment I've worked with. Most recruitment counselors collect and redistribute at the door or something like that.

I DO notice that while they are not permitted in parties, PNMs whip them out like, the EXACT second that they get out of the party to share their opinions with the world. Ex: They get out of the party and immediately text/tweet their thoughts instead of just letting it marinate.

[BadCat25]

Have great conversation skills or be gorgeous.

[Cookiez17]

Gonna bump since spring recruitment is coming.

[funinthesun]

I have a daughter who is only a sophomore in HS. She has the 4.0 GPA, tons of community service hours already, and I know I have mom goggles on, but she is a very pretty girl. And I think she will do terrible in recruitment... She is quite shy. She speaks softly and quietly, and she gets nervous and self conscious in big groups. She has a heart of gold, is an excellent friend and listener, lots of fun and witty once you get to know her. I want to help her now. NOT because of recruitment, but I think overcoming this kind of shyness will help in general. Any advice would be appreciated.

[carnation]

This is what happened to 2 of mine. They had top activities and the whole bit but they were shy around total strangers. I did make them rehearse practice conversations before they left for recruitment.