The importance of conversation/personality during recruitment

[myopicsunflower]

Excellent, excellent advice!

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

Also don’t be afraid to jump into “goofy” topics. Some of the best conversations that led to me forming my “rush crushes” were about shoes, embarrassing stories, high school cars that were falling apart, celebrity gossip, Disney movies…anything fun like that can reveal so much about a PNMs ability to “go with the flow”. It’s so refreshing to have conversations like that instead of the standard “what’s your major” or the women who rattle off questions. You have a very focused idea of what hanging out with them would be like AND they will stick out that much more in your mind. Then, when she starts asking questions about the chapter, you not only know she’s interested but you are positive she will fit in with the women in the chapter.

This is VERY true. The goofy topics really do show personality, including what I would call "endearing quirks." These conversations also tend to feel more personal, even if the topics aren't super deep, and while you get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with these sisters, they also get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with you. Very good way to be remembered!

Thank you for posting this!

[violetpretty]

I also think that conversation isn't mentioned as much in threads because a great personality/conversation skills rarely compensates for "foot in the door" things like poor grades, non-freshman class standing (at certain schools), not having recs if most PNMs do, unkempt appearance, etc. It's absolutely like a job interview. You need certain things to get you in the door and the next step is to win chapters over with your personality by having meaningful conversations.

I absolutely agree that conversation is important. It's the heart and soul of recruitment.

The best thing to do is practice making small talk with strangers. Back up questions are good if you find the conversation lagging. Sometimes the other person won't have much to say back to you, so there's not always much to ask them about the current topic. There is also an element of nervousness in most PNMs (and sisters).

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by myopicsunflower

Excellent, excellent advice!



This is VERY true. The goofy topics really do show personality, including what I would call "endearing quirks." These conversations also tend to feel more personal, even if the topics aren't super deep, and while you get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with these sisters, they also get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with you. Very good way to be remembered!

Thank you for posting this!

I think too that the goofy topics can work wonders but they have to be brought up in the right way. Say you want to talk about Disney movies...instead of asking a sister "What's your favorite Disney movie? I am obsessed with Disney!", which would look creepy, a better way is to steer a question into that area. If you are asked what you did the previous night, say "We took it pretty easy...my floormates and I stayed up and watched old Disney movies because they are my guilty pleasure." That way the sister can jump on the bait if she wants to. Or if you want to talk about vintage clothing, maybe say "I'm so excited to finally go to school in CITY! I want to figure out where everything is...do you know of a cool vintage clothing store? Those are my staples." If you bring it up right those topics can make you really memorable...if you bring it up awkwardly they are going to be like "Who the heck was that girl?"

[myopicsunflower]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

If you bring it up right those topics can make you really memorable...if you bring it up awkwardly they are going to be like "Who the heck was that girl?"

Oh absolutely. It has to work naturally into a conversation or it's not going to work at all.

And people have to still maintain some discretion about what goofy topics they share. Some goofy topics are cute, but some are just too goofy (or straight-up weird) and would end up working against the rushee.

[violetpretty]

How many times have we heard of PNMs with excellent resumes and recs who have great conversations at chapters, only to find they are cut the next round?

How often do we hear of a PNM at an SEC school who has the "total package" (great GPA, activities, recs), pretty, great conversationalist, but is from out of the South (thus lacking connections in chapters) get into a "top tier" chapter?

My point is that, at certain schools, there are other factors at play, like legacy status and having connections in chapters, other than conversation, resumes, and recs. Not to mention, at these schools, every PNM has a great GPA, activities, recs, and is gorgeous.

Based on what I've read on GC, at competitive schools (SEC, most of the Big XII), great conversation can not make you, but poor conversation sure can break you.

Any SECers/Big XIIers, feel free to weigh in on this.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

How many times have we heard of PNMs with excellent resumes and recs who have great conversations at chapters, only to find they are cut the next round?


My point is that, at certain schools, there are other factors at play, like legacy status and having connections in chapters, other than conversation, resumes, and recs. Not to mention, at these schools, every PNM has a great GPA, activities, recs, and is gorgeous.

I agree. We get this alot from moms particularly. They say, "but she was a 4.0 student, had 2 recs per chapter, and was homecomng queen and played tennis AND fed starving children in Africa, how did she get cut??" Those things alone don't guarantee bids (especially when EVERYONE has very similar stats). They don't realize that they weren't there to see their daughter interact with the sororities. They need to consider that the conversation skills/personality factor also comes into play and that maybe their daughter didn't stand out in that area.

[cali_gossip]

Originally Posted by myopicsunflower

Excellent, excellent advice!



This is VERY true. The goofy topics really do show personality, including what I would call "endearing quirks." These conversations also tend to feel more personal, even if the topics aren't super deep, and while you get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with these sisters, they also get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with you. Very good way to be remembered!

The goofy topics really helped me during recruitment. I talked to some of the girls about how I'd gone to a crazy carnival in Hollywood on Halloween and saw some people dressed up as Britney Spears. They had a bunch of different versions of Britney and the girls got really excited. Come bid day, they came up to me and said thanks to my idea, a group of them were gonna dress up as the different phases of her career for Halloween. That's how they remembered me :]