Regrets

KSUViolet06 · #1 08-28-2008, 04:47 PM

I give this advice to every person who comes onto GC aasking this type of question:

Either stick it out, get on board, and try to change things, or quit.

You sticking around and complaining about the chapter does absolutely nothing for them (or you). Those who do not try to make change also have no real right to complain.

If you don't want to be there and have no interest in trying to improve things, it is best for the chapter for you to terminate your membership.

tornup · #2 08-28-2008, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Either stick it out, get on board, and try to change things, or quit.
.

Thats what in my heart I want to do because I know that we have amazing potential to be a great chapter I just worry that the few girls (were a very small chapter) who run the E-Board will NOT be open to change and it will just cause me to be disliked by the chapter as a whole. Its hard for me to explain the violations/problems my chapter has been dealing with because I dont want to be to identifying. But trust me when i say its not small violations against the constituion its things that could and probably would get us a serious look from nationals if not get are charter pulled...

Im just incredibly frustrated and even in wanting to try and change it i have no idea where to start. . .

KSUViolet06 · #3 08-28-2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tornup

Thats what in my heart I want to do because I know that we have amazing potential to be a great chapter I just worry that the few girls (were a very small chapter) who run the E-Board will NOT be open to change and it will just cause me to be disliked by the chapter as a whole. Its hard for me to explain the violations/problems my chapter has been dealing with because I dont want to be to identifying. But trust me when i say its not small violations against the constituion its things that could and probably would get us a serious look from nationals if not get are charter pulled...

Im just incredibly frustrated and even in wanting to try and change it i have no idea where to start. . .

Ask yourself which is more important:

Do I want to go along with things, not rock the boat, and have people like me?

OR

"Do I want to help change things so that my chapter will still be around down the road?"

At the end of the day the decision is up to you. However, quitting a sorority is a pretty final step and I think you should really think hard about it because it is something you may regret. In the grand scheme of things, your collegiate chapter experience is a very short time compared to the years you will spend as an alumna. I always hate to see girls quit over frustration with their collegiate chapter and regret it because they lose out on the lifetime experiences (because they aren't a member anymore).

tornup · #4 08-28-2008, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

[B]

"Do I want to help change things so that my chapter will still be around down the road?"

Thats what I want i just worry that even if my chapter will be around I wont as a member that like in trying ti change i will get kicked out i know that sounds silly but its a genuine fear i have. . .

KSUViolet06 · #5 08-28-2008, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tornup

Thats what I want i just worry that even if my chapter will be around I wont as a member that like in trying ti change i will get kicked out i know that sounds silly but its a genuine fear i have. . .

Last I checked, collegiate members could not "kick people out." (at least within my particular NPC sorority anyway).

33girl · #6 08-28-2008, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Last I checked, collegiate members could not "kick people out." (at least within my particular NPC sorority anyway).

Well, the collegiate members can recommend someone for termination and trump up some really nasty sounding charges. I know you mean the national office/council/HQ has to approve the termination, but AFAIK unless the member fights it, I think they usually go through.

Anyway.

tornup -

Here's a question - do you like the girls currently in your chapter? Do you feel comfortable with them and like you have a bond with them? Would you be friends even if you weren't sisters?

Also, I would wait until rush is over (assuming you have formal rush in the fall) to do anything - oftentimes one pledge class can turn a small chapter completely around. If you have friends that you think would be a good addition to the chapter, encourage them to rush. My big big's class came into the chapter (which was basically being run by 3 women) and said among themselves that they were going to change things and just did it with who they rushed, how they presented themselves on campus, how they ran their offices. If they would have stood up at meetings and said "we are going to make a big change" it would have gone over like a lead balloon.

I'm not going to advise going in gangbusters and saying "we do all this stuff wrong and we must change" or going to your nationals because either way, you might end up without a chapter - either because you would end up quitting if the other sisters didn't agree with you, or because your national shut your chapter down. The only way I would recommend that is if hazing practices are going on that could endanger someone's life and/or health. (I don't get this from your post though, it sounds more like really bad operational issues.)

SWTXBelle · #7 08-28-2008, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tornup

Thats what in my heart I want to do because I know that we have amazing potential to be a great chapter I just worry that the few girls (were a very small chapter) who run the E-Board will NOT be open to change and it will just cause me to be disliked by the chapter as a whole. Its hard for me to explain the violations/problems my chapter has been dealing with because I dont want to be to identifying. But trust me when i say its not small violations against the constituion its things that could and probably would get us a serious look from nationals if not get are charter pulled...

Im just incredibly frustrated and even in wanting to try and change it i have no idea where to start. . .

Are there any other sisters who agree with you? That would be a place to start. Since you are a small chapter, it won't take many members to start to change directions.

Do you have an advisor? You should be able to have a heart to heart with her - maybe the thing to do would be have HER institute a change. If you don't have an advisor, you NEED one. She and her advisory board (and if there isn't one, there should be one). should be on top of the issues that concern you.

Tom Earp · #8 08-28-2008, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tornup

Thats what in my heart I want to do because I know that we have amazing potential to be a great chapter I just worry that the few girls (were a very small chapter) who run the E-Board will NOT be open to change and it will just cause me to be disliked by the chapter as a whole. Its hard for me to explain the violations/problems my chapter has been dealing with because I dont want to be to identifying. But trust me when i say its not small violations against the constituion its things that could and probably would get us a serious look from nationals if not get are charter pulled...

Im just incredibly frustrated and even in wanting to try and change it i have no idea where to start. . .

I think many of us have been there and there is nothing is wrong with your thinking!

But, you and you alone will have to make the decission!

I can do nothing but hope the very best for you.

texas*princess · #9 08-28-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I give this advice to every person who comes onto GC aasking this type of question:

Either stick it out, get on board, and try to change things, or quit.

You sticking around and complaining about the chapter does absolutely nothing for them (or you). Those who do not try to make change also have no real right to complain.

If you don't want to be there and have no interest in trying to improve things, it is best for the chapter for you to terminate your membership.

agreed.

You're either a part of the solution, or a part of the problem.

You may not directly be part of the problem, but by sitting around and just waiting it out so that you can still be affiliated with XYZ, you are doing the chapter a disservice by not trying to help and make things better for future generations of your chapter.

Sometimes doing the right thing won't make you Miss Popularity, but it's something that needs to be done.