Why? Sophomore UGA story

[kddani]

Originally Posted by AuburnMom08

BTW, my daughter dropped out of rush on the last day after she was cut by all but 2 houses and she was really down about the whole thing but I am happy to report that now, a whole week later, she is doing great and not nearly as lost/lonely as she thought she would be without sisterhood.

Am I understanding you correctly? Your daughter had 2 houses left on the last day, then dropped out? How many houses did she expect to have left? Preference, at most, is three parties. Did she not go to preference for either of the two houses that genuinely were interested in getting to know her and potentially having her as a sister?

I'm glad that she's doing well, however, it sounds like she had quite a good chance of becoming a member of a sorority.

[InHerShoes]

Originally Posted by kddani

Am I understanding you correctly? Your daughter had 2 houses left on the last day, then dropped out? How many houses did she expect to have left? Preference, at most, is three parties. Did she not go to preference for either of the two houses that genuinely were interested in getting to know her and potentially having her as a sister.

What???

Just because a sorority shows interest in a PNM does NOT automatically mean that the PNM feels comfortable or at home in that chapter. Who are you to judge this woman's daughter for dropping out of recruitment because she wasn't comfortable with the houses she had left? Every sorority is not for everyone; they are not all the same, and that's the beauty of the system, but it also means that not every girl is going to fit in at every house.

I think that too often on this site girls are accused of dropping out of recruitment because they thought the houses they had left were "bottom tier." Why do we assume that is the case? This girl could have had two "top tier" chapters left that she simply couldn't see herself in.

Which is worse? Knowing that you wouldn't be happy with any of the sororities that invited you to preference and dropping out of recruitment? or knowing that you wouldn't be happy with any of the sororities that invited you to preference but attending the parties, signing a bid card, and dropping out after bid day, thus taking the spot of a girl who would have been HAPPY in that group?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by InHerShoes

I think that too often on this site girls are accused of dropping out of recruitment because they thought the houses they had left were "bottom tier." Why do we assume that is the case? This girl could have had two "top tier" chapters left that she simply couldn't see herself in.

Yeah right. It doesn't happen like that. Do you know how the RFM works? Besides, that girl was a sophomore and received 4 invites for round 2. I HIGHLY doubt her only remaining options two "top tier" chapters where she didn't feel comfortable. If you don't click with a "top tier" chapter, it's going to be obvious, and you're going to get cut (unless you're a celebrity in some way), because they have plenty of other girls that would be dying to join and they have to make big cuts. Hell, even if you do click at a top tier chapter, you still have a good chance of being cut.

Originally Posted by InHerShoes

Which is worse? Knowing that you wouldn't be happy with any of the sororities that invited you to preference and dropping out of recruitment? or knowing that you wouldn't be happy with any of the sororities that invited you to preference but attending the parties, signing a bid card, and dropping out after bid day, thus taking the spot of a girl who would have been HAPPY in that group?

I don't mean to sound like I think every girl should sign a bid card, because really, she'll just drag her pledge class down with her if she doesn't want to be there. What I DO advocate, rather strongly, is going to all parties to which you were invited and have room for through preference AND keeping an open mind throughout recruitment. If after seeing your preference chapters 4 times and giving them the chance to change your mind and win you over, you STILL don't feel like you could be at home there, fine. It's not the action of dropping out that ticks me off, it's the "I'm too good for these chapters" attitude that causes the PNM to drop out.

[AGDee]

To me, at these huge chapters like UGA, Auburn and Bama, there are so many women in each chapter that I cannot believe that no matter who joined a chapter, there would be SOMEONE else in that chapter they would click with. There's no way that all 180 members of a chapter have identical interests, attitudes or personalities. These groups most certainly have groups within the larger group who hang out primarily together. I get the impression it is largely by pledge class. If that's the case, then it's really dependent on who else is in your pledge class rather than who else is actually in the chapter. In every chapter at UGA, I'm sure there are scholars, athletes, beauty queens, computer geeks, etc. In that way, I think a PNM could end up feeling at home in any of the chapters easily.

[BBelleADPi]

Originally Posted by AGDee

To me, at these huge chapters like UGA, Auburn and Bama, there are so many women in each chapter that I cannot believe that no matter who joined a chapter, there would be SOMEONE else in that chapter they would click with. There's no way that all 180 members of a chapter have identical interests, attitudes or personalities. These groups most certainly have groups within the larger group who hang out primarily together. I get the impression it is largely by pledge class. If that's the case, then it's really dependent on who else is in your pledge class rather than who else is actually in the chapter. In every chapter at UGA, I'm sure there are scholars, athletes, beauty queens, computer geeks, etc. In that way, I think a PNM could end up feeling at home in any of the chapters easily.

Golf clap.