Lack of Positive Reinforcement

[33girl]

Well, this might not sound too "professional" but it's worth a try.

Cry. She might not realize how the criticism sounds when it's coming out of her mouth.

[pbear19]

I truly don't think she realizes that to me she's being harsh. She really is a nice person, so it's hard to hold it against her. I do figure there is the chance I'm being overly sensitive, or spoiled by my previous employer. Either way I still have to find a way to deal, right?

I'm not sure what would happen if I cried in front of her. I'll post back if the opportunity ever presents - either intentionally or unintentionally. I'm not too proud to admit I've shed a tear or two of frustration when she wasn't present! I think either she'd feel really bad, or it would make her think that I am way too soft.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Cry. She might not realize how the criticism sounds when it's coming out of her mouth.

Ok, sorry, but I have to say NO, do NOT do this.

crescent&pearls hit it right on the head, pbear, you are working for someone who works for herself and who knows what, if any, management exposure or training she ever had previously. So she may just suck at it and there's not much you can do about that. This is one of those things people don't realize they have so good at big companies, you may work for some idiots along the way, but with full HR depts and all kinds of management and sensitivity training in place, employees get a lot more 'atta boys' and recognition than at smaller shops.

You are not in a position to "train" this woman who is not only over you, but who strokes your paycheck. You know how much time you have to put in to take the next step up in this field, focus on that, learn to pat yourself on the back as c&p said and take notes on what the owner does well and poorly so you are armed with a clear vision of what to do in your next position. Keep in mind that as a business owner (and I don't know how new she is at it or how good she is at it), she doesn't have anyone patting her on the back either so she may be reeling a bit herself not only from the massive responsibilities she has on her shoulders to keep her business afloat and pay your paycheck but from not having a gauge from anyone how well she's doing day-to-day too.

Pace yourself, praise yourself, observe, learn and try not to sweat the small stuff.

[pbear19]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all the advice. One thing I'm definitely not going to do is to try to change her, or get her to adapt to me. That's not in the equation at all. Like I said, I know her well enough to know that I cannot even have a conversation with her about this.

I really just wanted to know if it was at all normal, which it sounds like it might be with this kind of small business. And, if there were any suggestions on how I could deal. I don't expect the situation to change, so I need to find some techniques to help myself get through the next 9 months. Just having the knowledge that this isn't abnormal for this type of business is already helping me cope with the situation a bit better.

Thanks again!