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  #1  
Old 02-06-2012, 09:54 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie93 View Post
Shocker. All those heli-moms with Special Snowflakes are now showing up in the workplace:

Helicopter Parents Hover in the Workplace: NPR

This is just unbelievable to me. These poor kids are not getting the opportunity to grow, develop, and learn to initiate and make critical decisions for themselves. Now they are college graduates and they have not developed the most basic of skills needed to survive in the workplace and independently.
That's CRAZY.

My mom has never even known the NUMBER to my workplace or my supervisor's name to call them (at least not since I was 16 and sans cell phone.)
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  #2  
Old 02-07-2012, 12:04 AM
psusue psusue is offline
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I think this is my biggest problem with helicopter parenting-- where does it end? My mom has always taught me to fight my own battles. Even when I had an extremely unfair supervisor in on of my jobs she let me handle it. She offered (mostly out of anger) to help when the woman basically succeeded in removing me (not firing, I left in good standing) but I would have never let her. I'm an adult and fair or not it's your life. I understand that every parent wants to spare their child unnecessary pain but the world is harsh and you can't protect them forever. Teach them to pick themselves up from those realities and that is what will do them a favor, because failure is inevitable.
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  #3  
Old 02-06-2012, 11:54 PM
GammaPhi88 GammaPhi88 is offline
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Ugh. I'm a tour guide at my law school, and I see all types. My mom and I went on a tour at only one law school I considered together, and she didn't ask any questions. We discussed the school over lunch afterwards, but thats it. I chose my law school on my own, dealt with enrolling and financial aid, and so on, on my own. My apartment was something I found on my own as well, and they haven't been by since I moved in (and I live close to them).

So its shocking to me when I get parents on my tours asking all sorts of questions that their child...who is potentially going to be a lawyer...should be asking. I've had parents tell me the curve is unfair, and if they could talk to anyone about it. I've had parents try to argue with me about getting their kids off the wait list (good luck, I'm a student tour guide, not an admissions officer). And I've had parents get annoyed at me because we have events with beer and wine...which are adult networking events, and I'm sorry, but if your kid can't control themselves at those things, they are not ready for law school. Geez.

I guess I'm mostly annoyed about this because I'm 23 and some of these heli-kids are my age or older than me. It makes me worry that these kids will be my colleagues, and while my classmates generally aren't like that, I sure as hell do not want to work with lawyers that are down the road.
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Last edited by GammaPhi88; 02-06-2012 at 11:55 PM. Reason: Sleep deprived terrible typos
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  #4  
Old 02-07-2012, 12:15 AM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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I'm in a grad class called Family Collaboration. Naturally we get into a lot of discussion about parenting.

We got on this topic last week and the prof was telling us how many heli-moms she encounters every semester.

She teaches several undergrad classes (junior level) within the education dept. and had a student's mother call and ask for all the due dates on her syllabus so that "Suzie can turn in her assignments on time."

If Suzie can't manage to turn in assignments on time without Mommy, how on Earth is she going to be a TEACHER?

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  #5  
Old 02-07-2012, 07:23 AM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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Stay the Course: Your level of involvement seems to indicate a good balance between your child's responsibilities and decisions, and your advice and guidance.

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  #6  
Old 02-08-2012, 10:24 AM
SydneyK SydneyK is offline
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Wow @ ree-Xi's story. That's beyond heli-parenting - that story crosses the line into threatening behavior. Seriously. I'd keep my eye on that person.

Backbowlsgirl - hat's off to you for not holding it against your mom that she didn't let you get to where you are in life of your own accord. I don't think I could do that - I'm pretty sure I'd be somewhat resentful, actually.

My definition of a heli-parent: Someone who steps in and takes care of the kid's responsibilities instead of letting him/her do it him/herself. Someone who doesn't allow their child to make their own mistakes. Who doesn't allow their child to grow up.

College campuses are designed to help transition students from under-parents'-thumb to adulthood. The university administrators who are adjusting their practices to allow for heli-parenting are, imo, doing their students a huge disservice.
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  #7  
Old 02-08-2012, 10:41 AM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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My mom's not as much a heli-mom (although she is to some extent), but she pretty much let me be the center of the world for 21 years. Now that I have kids, she expects me to turn that off and make my kids the center of the universe. First, it's hard to turn that off when you're used to doing whatever you want when you want. I do lots of stuff like the Oratorio Singers of Charlotte, community theatre and paid acting stuff and end up dumping my kids at my parents house because they let me. This is one of my reasons for wanting to move to NYC...as convenient as it is to keep taking advantage of my parents, it's not healthy for them, the kids or me. It will be good to put some distance there, at least for a little while.
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  #8  
Old 08-14-2008, 04:13 PM
Kevlar281 Kevlar281 is offline
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The fraternity side of helicopter moms...

The year I did Journey of Hope there was a kid on the South Team whose parents decided to tag along for about a week and a half. Basically they followed the route and would make arrangements to stay in whatever town we happened to be lodging in. Now keep in mind it is completely normal for parents to visit during the trip for one or two days. But this usually happens about a month into the trip when the team member is traveling through their home state. I barely saw the Dad I’m not sure what he was doing to fill his days but the Mom made her presence known. She would fix her son’s plate at lunch, fill his water bottle etc. She even bought the team extra food because she didn’t think we were eating enough. (That was actually nice)

So some time went by and the heli-parents went home. He was finally on his own. We were in Nevada for two days staying in a High School gymnasium when he finally decided to say more then two words to me.

Heli-Kid: Hey are you going on a laundry run?
Me: Yeah were all meeting by the payphones out front in twenty minutes.
Heli-Kid: Oh Ok.

So twenty minutes comes and goes; everyone meets by the payphones, Heli-Kid is a no show. We have to clown car the van so I don’t even think twice about leaving him behind. About an hour later as I’m waiting for my clothes to dry my cell phone rings…

Me: Hello
Heli-Kid: Hey it’s me Heli-Kid
Me: Oh hey man what’s up?
Heli-Kid: Have yall left for the laundry mat yet?
Me: Yeah were just finishing up now.
Heli-Kid: Why didn’t you wake me up so I could go?
Me: I’m not your mom.
--click--

/edit: So I’m not sure if my story actually fits in this thread but I always think about that kid when the issue of helicopter parents comes up. I guess I’ve never had to deal with a helicopter parent directly; just the products of their parenting.

Last edited by Kevlar281; 08-14-2008 at 09:26 PM.
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  #9  
Old 08-14-2008, 04:38 PM
WarEagle07 WarEagle07 is offline
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Well, I enjoy it when parents come on GC seeking info and sharing their feelings about their children and what they are going through. But I draw the line when parents start referring to what is happening to their child as if it were happening to them. For instance last year there was a mom who referred to her daughters rush as 'our rush' and repeatedly used the term 'we' and 'I' when she should have been using 'she' and 'her'.
Helicopter Mom -v- Regular Mom
A Helicopter Mom:
  • Decides her daughter should rush
  • Gets Recs for her
  • Picks out the outfits
  • Is present during rush to make sure daughters hair and makeup are fresh (yes, it happened...not at Auburn)
  • Is more upset by who cut daughter/son than by who wants them
  • Says critical things trying to analyze why cuts happened
  • Compares her daughter/son to other young adults
  • Is competitive with other young adults for the sake of their child.
A Regular Mom:
  • Supports childs decision to rush or not
  • Passes on leads for recs to her child
  • Advises on outfits if asked
  • Is a sounding board during rush, but not actually present
  • Tries to get child to see the bright side when facing cuts.
  • Never gives the child the impression that the cuts were the result of something they did/did not do
  • Knows that every child is unique and will have unique experiences in rush and in life
  • Allows their child to have disappointments, but is there to support them when they do.
Having said that....
I love cooking for and doing laundry for my daughter when she comes home, I can't help it! I don't think this makes me a helicopter parent though because she does her own laundry 99% of the time!

Last edited by WarEagle07; 08-14-2008 at 04:41 PM.
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  #10  
Old 08-14-2008, 04:48 PM
Tom Earp Tom Earp is offline
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I guess they do not yet realize that little precious may or not be GLO material even though the kinder is the apple of their eye!

They look at them as their little angel and can do no wrong.

If god forbid some of you have kids would you be any different?


Just some S & Gs!

Oh, I am trying very carefully to type and spell for the benefit of the Spelling Kings and Queens!

TPU!
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