Advice for a second-timer

Originally Posted by WhySoSerious

I wish I had found this site before I rushed last fall. You all seem to be so friendly and helpful and I was wondering if I could get some advice.

I did formal rush at my school last fall (rush is only moderately competitive-I don't know how the rest of you managed with such intense rush experiences!). I went in with not the best attitude about the whole thing as I was so intimidated by the whole process and not sure I wanted to join a sorority yet at all. The rush site said the first day was casual so I wore a t-shirt, a ponytail, and little makeup. I think in some way I was testing the sororities to see how superficial they were (I dress dressier than that normally) but needless to say I was underdressed compared to other PNM's... Anyway I went in doing all of the things this site has basically taught me not to do, saying I felt tired, overwhelmed, and not sure I wanted to join any sorority- generally not excited. I got asked back to about half and realized that I had been going about the whole thing the wrong way. I tried to correct my attitude for the next houses but the damage was already done as the ones I could see myself in had cut me. I stuck it out and joined the one I thought fit me the best to try it out.

The sorority ended up being the completely wrong match for me. I probably should have gotten the hint when all of our pledge gifts were various drinking paraphernalia with the letters on them. At our new member retreat the pledge class above us did their song and dance, which was, to put it lightly, lewd. "We rock the frat guys' fill-in-the-blank..." and other rude comments about other sororities. I could not see myself proudly introducing the girls to other friends. They weren't all like that but it was not for me. I de-pledged before initiation and had a wonderful rest of freshman year.

The idea of joining a sorority has still stuck with me as I really love the idea of it and I'm considering rushing again this fall. Several of my friends are in other sororities and I've realized I probably joined the most extreme on the "stereotypical sorority" scale at my school. My question is whether or not I can have realistic expectations about joining a sorority that already cut me? I have friends in a few different ones now and there's only a couple that don't generally take sophomores. But should I be expecting that my having rushed and pledged previously is going to negatively affect my chances? I can't imagine that they would just forget about it/not talk to my old sorority or anything. It's not like I left on bad terms but I don't think they would go on about how wonderful I was... Anyway I hope you can give me general advice as I don't know much about the other side of rush and what factors in. Any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

I bolded the above because I'm not sure what kind of information we can provide without delving into private membership info.

Still, the fact that you acknowledge that you went into rush last year with not the greatest of attitudes is a positive sign. You see things differently now, and maybe the houses will also see you differently too, instead of that naive freshman from last year.

Worrying about something is like praying for something bad to happen. Instead of thinking about how your previous experience might hurt your chances, put forth some effort in making the opposite happen. Ask your friends in the sororities to put you in touch with alums who can write you recs. Even if recs aren't mandatory on your campus, it doesn't hurt to have them. It might just show the sororities that you were willing to do the footwork and show them how much you want to be a part of a sisterhood.

[KSUViolet06]

As far as how sororities decide whether girls get invited back or get bids, that's part of the Membership Selection process of the sorority and is considered private.

As far whether having depledged last year will hurt you this year, it really depends on how your school is. Where I went to school, there were girls who depledged and rushed again, who got bids.

It's really hard to say whether you'll get a bid or not, but honestly, you have nothing to lose by trying again. You know that there are things you should've done differently, so I'd just go though again and see what happens.

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

As far whether having depledged last year will hurt you this year, it really depends on how your school is. Where I went to school, there were girls who depledged and rushed again, who got bids.

This was true at my school, and I went to a fairly competitive school.

I would say in these cases a lot depends on how many and how close of a friends you are with girls in the chapter. If you have some friends in chapters and they already kinda know why you depledged, it might not hurt you at all. That's as much as I'll say.

Again, the worst that can happen is that you do not receive a bid. In that case, you're not in any different situation than you are now.

I do think you can probably expect to be released by the chapter you depledged. But I'm sure you've put that together on your own.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by OTW

I bolded the above because I'm not sure what kind of information we can provide without delving into private membership info.

Still, the fact that you acknowledge that you went into rush last year with not the greatest of attitudes is a positive sign. You see things differently now, and maybe the houses will also see you differently too, instead of that naive freshman from last year.

Worrying about something is like praying for something bad to happen. Instead of thinking about how your previous experience might hurt your chances, put forth some effort in making the opposite happen. Ask your friends in the sororities to put you in touch with alums who can write you recs. Even if recs aren't mandatory on your campus, it doesn't hurt to have them. It might just show the sororities that you were willing to do the footwork and show them how much you want to be a part of a sisterhood.

Agreed with everything OTW said.

We can't say/do anything to get you into the head's of the sorority women at your school.

The best thing you can do is read the stickies at the top of the recruitment forum and take it from there.